something I don't understand
It has been a shitty few weeks. People are disappearing, crashing, falling away asleep.
I've been to the ER two times in the past two weeks...I have something called PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disorder). Fun fun fun. All I know is that it feels like the worst cramps in my life x 100.
I have been sitting up waiting for a call from a "friend". I like him more than I should. Is it all because of things ending with Alex? Am I just this messed up because this happened a few months ago. I dont think it makes any sense. I am confused ...do I love him, who is him? I cant stand feeling so alone. Was I always like this? I thought I was independent...why cant I be by myself, sit comfortably with myself?
I want someone to take me home, pull me up in their arms, hold me tight and protected. All silly coming from me, right? A girl who is big, tainted, broken, awkward, struggling so. What a joke. I don't deserve any of it.
There is no one who...it doesnt matter. He will sit me down and tell me that it's over the way that he did to her. Over again it goes. The heart breaks, and is filled up again, an empty cup, a trinket.
I've been to the ER two times in the past two weeks...I have something called PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disorder). Fun fun fun. All I know is that it feels like the worst cramps in my life x 100.
I have been sitting up waiting for a call from a "friend". I like him more than I should. Is it all because of things ending with Alex? Am I just this messed up because this happened a few months ago. I dont think it makes any sense. I am confused ...do I love him, who is him? I cant stand feeling so alone. Was I always like this? I thought I was independent...why cant I be by myself, sit comfortably with myself?
I want someone to take me home, pull me up in their arms, hold me tight and protected. All silly coming from me, right? A girl who is big, tainted, broken, awkward, struggling so. What a joke. I don't deserve any of it.
There is no one who...it doesnt matter. He will sit me down and tell me that it's over the way that he did to her. Over again it goes. The heart breaks, and is filled up again, an empty cup, a trinket.