This is the story of a boy and a girl...
Ok. I've decided that I am going to post up my story now, before I edit it, so I can see what you guys think and get comments. Tell me what you think, and what, if anything, I should change. Thank you!
Oh, and when I copied and pasted it, the format went kinda retarded, so sorry about that.♥
[edited version]
June 3, 2005
Dear Diary,
Wow, it has been quite a long time since I have written. Man, so many things have happened! Two wonderful, yet heartbreaking, years have passed by. I am now 17 years old, and a junior at El Toro High School. I have a little white ’92 Honda Prelude that my parents bought me for my birthday this year. I have the coolest friends ever, and I had the best boyfriend. He is actually the reason why I started writing again. I thought I should have some type of escape; a place where I can show my feelings, so I started up this diary again. So many things have happened in these past two years. There were many happy times, but, like always, there were very hard times as well; and this is what I am going to write about. So begins the story of Steve and I.
Early one Sunday morning, I was abruptly shaken awake by my father’s booming voice telling me to wake up because we were going to church. Naturally, I buried my head under the pillows, told him to go away, and, “I don’t wanna!” He finally dragged me out of my bed, and I got ready for church. As it turns out, church wasn’t as boring as usual. There was a cute boy there I hadn’t ever seen before. He had almost shoulder length black-blue hair. He was soo cute! I leaned over to my friend, Alyssa, and said, “Hey, who is that cute guy over there?” She informed me that his name was Steve and that his dad, Ron, was the church’s guitarist. My interest was then peaked, because, seeing as how my dad was the drummer for the church, maybe I’d be seeing more of this Steve guy.
When church was over Alyssa and I were walking around and we saw him again. Our eyes locked and we couldn’t stop looking at each other. Unfortunately, our gaze was soon broken by my dad shouting my name, telling me that it was time to go. So, I said goodbye to Alyssa and didn’t think much of it. On Monday I continued my monotonous routine of school, and eventually forgot about the boy.
Well, a month or so later, my friend Amye and I were watching a movie downstairs in the living room, and we realized that there were other people in the house other than my family. We took a peak out of the doors into the hallway and, oh my gosh, there was a cute boy sitting on my stairs. Obviously, we couldn’t go out of the room looking like we did: no makeup on, wearing pjs, and messed up hair. So, we had to devise a plan to get out without him seeing us. Amye had to go home, so we had to think fast. We finally decided on just running past him and out the door, not letting him get much of a look at the two disheveled girls in their pajamas. We ran by and out the door as fast as we could. While walking Amye home, I realized that I was faced with a bit of a problem: how was I going to get back into the house and up the stairs with out him seeing? There was no avoiding it. I decided that if I wanted to get upstairs (which I did so I could put on my makeup and look pretty), I would just have to suck it up and let him see me. I walked in the house, mumbled a quick hello, and shot up the stairs. I did my makeup, and when I felt I looked cute enough, I came out. But, of course, by the time I came out of the bathroom he had already left. Bummer. I had spent all that time in the bathroom making myself presentable, and now I didn’t have anyone to present to! What a rip-off. I went into my to find something to keep myself busy.
A little later, I heard my dad outside talking to someone, so I went outside to see who. When I got out there, the boy was there with his dad and step-mom (Well, I didn’t know she was his step-mom at the time, but whatever). I was excited! I was finally introduced to the boy, and guess who it was. It was Steve! He looked so different from the time I first saw him. He didn’t have his medium-long black hair anymore, and he was wearing a beanie. We started talking, and he was a really nice guy. We got along really well. But, to my disappointment, he had to leave. He and his step-mom, Lisa, had just come to pick up Ron. Right now you are probably wondering why Ron had been at our house anyway. Well, I wondered the same thing. Later, I found out the reason: my dad, Ron, and Dan (the pianist) were starting their own band, and the practices would be at my house every Sunday. I was stoked. This meant that I would get to see Steve every Sunday, assuming that he’d come, of course. Why wouldn’t he though, right?
…Aw man, I got really carried away writing my story. It is almost midnight now, and I have a busy day tomorrow. I’ll write more later.
Love Always,
Leah Webb*
June 4, 2005
Dear Diary,
Ok, I’m back now. I can continue with my story. Now, where was I? Oh yes…
What reason would he have to not come to band practice and hang out with the beautiful me (haha)? Well, as it turns out, he did come to band practice every Sunday. We always had so much fun. We’d watch movies with the volume turned all the way up so we could hear over band practice, play games, go to the pool, and do lots of other fun stuff. Over time, we got to be really close; like, extremely close.
We hung out all of the time. He’d come over to my house three or four times a week. He’d help me with my homework, play games, go to the pool and the park, and layout in the sun with me. We always had the best of times together.
Then, on Saturday, August 2, 2003, we went to an Angel’s game with our church. Remember, a few months had passed since we first met. We had gotten so close that we had a little crush on each other…ok, so it wasn’t a little crush. It was a huge crush. So, we went to the Angel’s game. During the game we got up and walked around for a while. We went to the waterfall and both made wishes. On our way back to our seats, he stopped me and said, “Leah, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a long time.” At that moment, my heart started racing. He continued to say, “Leah, will you be my girlfriend?” I was so excited the words just jumped out of my mouth, and I said, “Yes! I thought you were never going to ask!” I then told him that my wish had come true, and he said his did too. We had both wished for him to get some courage and hurry up and ask me out. We were both overcome with joy. We were finally together!
There was just one problem: my parents. You see, at the time, Steve was 18 about to turn 19, and I had recently turned 15. My parents didn’t have a problem with us being friends, but they would have a problem with us being boyfriend and girlfriend. But, we didn’t think of that. We were just happy to be together. We knew we’d have to keep it a secret from everybody, we just didn’t realize how dire the consequences would be.
We kept it a secret from everybody for a long time. My friends at school started becoming more and more suspicious, because Steve and I were always together. He would even take the bus all the way from his house in Santa Ana to visit me at school during lunchtime. And, when lunch was over, he’d wait on campus until school was out and come over to my house. If I went out, he came too. That’s the way it was. We were inseparable.
After about three months of this, my parents started getting suspicious as well. They would ask me all these questions about him, wondering why we had to talk on the phone all the time even if he had come over that same day. And, what in the world was going on between us. Steve and I kept lying to them; always assuring them that nothing was going on and that we were just friends.
Then, one fateful night about four months after we started dating, our happy little world came crashing down. That night, Steve and I went to church, like we did every Thursday night. We walked to the park and hung out there for a little while, and then headed to church which was just around the corner. We were running late, so we didn’t get to stop and eat like we had planned. We went to church, and stayed until about 8:45. Church usually got out around 9, but since we were really hungry, we decided to leave early. We walked to KFC and then to the park were we ate and hung out for a while. Unfortunately, my phone was on vibrate the whole time, so I didn’t know that I had missed about five calls from my mom, wondering where the heck I was. When I finally looked at my phone, I saw I had missed a call from my dad, who was out of town on a business trip. I called him to see what was up, and he told me that my mom was freaking out and had no idea where I was. Then I realized that she had come to pick us up, but we weren’t there. I had forgotten to tell her that we were going to walk home. I had gotten so used to always walking home, I assumed she know that we would. Big mistake. My friend Brittany told her that we had left 15 minutes early, and she didn’t know where we went. Imagine you were my mom with thousands of thoughts going through her head while having no clue where her daughter and some boy were. Well, as soon as I got off the phone with my dad I called my mom. She was extremely angry. Steve and I ran as fast as we could all the way from the park back to my house.
When we got to my house, my mom was outside standing by Steve’s grandmother’s car fuming. When she saw us, she went off on Steve. She yelled at him and screamed, “How dare you! How could you do this to me!? You’ve both betrayed me!” She also said that Steve and I were to never see each other again and if we did she would call the police and have him arrested for statutory rape. Through all of her screaming and yelling, Steve and I stood there silently. She made me give him back the ring he gave me for our three-month anniversary and then go inside. I went inside and Steve left. In addition to not being allowed to see Steve ever again, I was grounded indefinitely. I didn’t care though. My heart was crushed because I thought I was loosing Steve forever. For all I cared, I could lose everything, but as long as I had Steve I’d be fine. But, I didn’t have Steve, and I wasn’t fine.
A few weeks passed by, and Steve and I figured out a way to communicate with each other: he would call me on one of my friends cell phones at lunch and talk to me then. Since I didn’t have my cell phone anymore he couldn’t call me on that. But, we realized that we could call the number and leave messages for each other. I gave him my password so he could check my voicemail, and we would leave messages for each other that way. Since we weren’t accustomed to not seeing each other all the time, being apart was very hard for us. We missed each other terribly. So, in order to be together, we’d sneak around whenever possible. We loved each other, so we couldn’t give up that easily, right? Well, one day my mom caught us, and I got in trouble again. But, again I didn’t care as long as she didn’t put Steve in jail. Thank God she didn’t call the police. Even after this we snuck around. We talked whenever we could, and I’d get caught, get in trouble, then do it all over again. This happened a few times. I would get in big trouble, but my mom never called the police.
Finally, my mom decided that we should talk to a psychologist. She helped us with our problems, because this whole ordeal had made my mother and I grow apart. I hated her for not letting Steve and I be together, so I gave her hell for it. She was resentful as well, so that added to the chaos in our relationship. The shrink, after meeting a few times, told my mom that she thought it might be a good idea to do a trial run of Steve and I dating, but, of course, under strict rules. So, we decided to try that. Steve and I were willing to do anything to be together, so we agreed.
…Wow, I wrote a lot tonight. I am really tired, so I am going to stop here. I’ll finish up tomorrow. Good night.
Love Always,
Leah Webb*
June 5, 2005
Dear Diary,
Ok, I’m back. Now I can finish up the rest of my story. Ok, here goes…
My mom hated the new setup, and we still had problems. She would get upset with me if I was on the phone with him two times in one day, or find some other stupid reason to yell at me. The tension between my mom, Steve, and I caused mine and Steve’s relationship to suffer. Every time I’d ask her if I could do something with Steve she’d say no. It pissed Steve and I off a lot, and he was always getting upset because he could never see me.
A few weeks ago, Steve and I got into an argument because I couldn’t hang out with him one night. The argument escalated into a huge fight which led to me kicking a hole in the wall, and our breakup (one of a few but the most serious). Well, a week later, we got back together. It was kept a secret, because my mom didn’t want us to get back together, and I was waiting for a good time to tell her. After about a week of her not knowing, she tells me that if Steve and I get back together I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything anymore. No more modeling. No more going out. No nothing. The next morning, when Steve called, I broke the terrible news to him. I told him that it might be best if we broke up, because I didn’t want to not be able to model anymore. He was very upset, as was I. After talking and arguing for a while, he said, “Fine!” and we hung up. Less than two seconds later, my house phone rings, and I immediately know it’s Steve calling my mom. She answered before I got a chance to get it. He said to her, “You’ve won. You finally won. Are you happy now? I am finally out of your lives forever,” and hung up. She was confused because she didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t care though, all she knew was that Steve was gone and she was happy. I didn’t know what to do. I felt terrible. I didn’t want to break up with him, but I felt I had to.
The next day it hit me like a train. I started freaking out. I cried, and cried, and cried. I wrote him a message on Myspace that told him not to give up on me yet, and that I was going to fight for him. But, it was too late. He was sick and tired of being jerked up and down like a yo-yo. He felt he was being controlled by my mom, and he couldn’t take the pain anymore. He refused to talk to me for a few days. I called him and left messages, but not one got a reply. Finally, late Thursday night he called me. He said that we could talk about everything on Friday at four o’clock, then we said goodbye.
All day Friday I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait until four to talk to him. Well, four came and went. Then 4:15, 4:30, 4:45, and finally at five o’clock he called. He was very short with me. He acted like he didn’t want to talk to me, and it hurt. We didn’t get to talk long, because my mom came outside and got upset with me for talking to him. He told me that he’d just call me later when he was at Tavi’s house (Tavi is his little sister). We said bye and hung-up. I went back into the house and told my mom that I’d rather give up everything than not have him. She said, “Fine, then. No more modeling, going out, or anything,” and I was fine with that.
About ten minutes later, Steve called me, and I told him what I had done. He asked me why I would do such a thing, and I told him it was because I’d rather have him than anything else. He said he thought it was sweet, but I should take it back; to tell my mom that I didn’t mean it. I refused. We talked a little bit more, and he told me that he needed time and space. It broke my heart, because I was hoping it would be like the rest of the times and we’d just get back together. This time it was different though; it wouldn’t be as easy now. We said goodbye and hung-up. He called my mom and told her to give me all my privileges back, and that he was just going to “walk away,” as he put it.
That day, I cried my eyes out. I felt as if my heart had been ripped out, thrown on the ground, and stomped on. He refused to talk to me again. He ignored my calls and my Myspace messages. It hurt really bad. Then, one day, he called me. I was so excited! He said he wanted to check on me and see if I was ok. I was so happy to hear from him. I had hoped that he was calling me to tell me that he missed me, and grovel for me to come back to him. To my dismay, it didn’t happen. He just wanted to check on me and that’s all. After we talked a few minutes he told me he’d call me in a few days. I’m just glad he called. I was sure he wouldn’t talk to me until mid-July like he had originally said. It shows that he still cares for me.
In these past two years I have learned a lot. I now know that I should treasure all of the little things and not take anything for granted, because I never know when they’ll be taken away. Also, although I do not think it’s fair or like it one bit, my mom loves me, and she just wants to take care of me. I have learned so much through these past years, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
I don’t know what is going to happen next. All I can do is hope for the best. I hope that everything will be ok with Steve and I, but I don’t know what will happen. I can only hope. I know that life will go on, and my story will continue…
Love Always,
Leah Webb*
Oh, and when I copied and pasted it, the format went kinda retarded, so sorry about that.♥
[edited version]
June 3, 2005
Dear Diary,
Wow, it has been quite a long time since I have written. Man, so many things have happened! Two wonderful, yet heartbreaking, years have passed by. I am now 17 years old, and a junior at El Toro High School. I have a little white ’92 Honda Prelude that my parents bought me for my birthday this year. I have the coolest friends ever, and I had the best boyfriend. He is actually the reason why I started writing again. I thought I should have some type of escape; a place where I can show my feelings, so I started up this diary again. So many things have happened in these past two years. There were many happy times, but, like always, there were very hard times as well; and this is what I am going to write about. So begins the story of Steve and I.
Early one Sunday morning, I was abruptly shaken awake by my father’s booming voice telling me to wake up because we were going to church. Naturally, I buried my head under the pillows, told him to go away, and, “I don’t wanna!” He finally dragged me out of my bed, and I got ready for church. As it turns out, church wasn’t as boring as usual. There was a cute boy there I hadn’t ever seen before. He had almost shoulder length black-blue hair. He was soo cute! I leaned over to my friend, Alyssa, and said, “Hey, who is that cute guy over there?” She informed me that his name was Steve and that his dad, Ron, was the church’s guitarist. My interest was then peaked, because, seeing as how my dad was the drummer for the church, maybe I’d be seeing more of this Steve guy.
When church was over Alyssa and I were walking around and we saw him again. Our eyes locked and we couldn’t stop looking at each other. Unfortunately, our gaze was soon broken by my dad shouting my name, telling me that it was time to go. So, I said goodbye to Alyssa and didn’t think much of it. On Monday I continued my monotonous routine of school, and eventually forgot about the boy.
Well, a month or so later, my friend Amye and I were watching a movie downstairs in the living room, and we realized that there were other people in the house other than my family. We took a peak out of the doors into the hallway and, oh my gosh, there was a cute boy sitting on my stairs. Obviously, we couldn’t go out of the room looking like we did: no makeup on, wearing pjs, and messed up hair. So, we had to devise a plan to get out without him seeing us. Amye had to go home, so we had to think fast. We finally decided on just running past him and out the door, not letting him get much of a look at the two disheveled girls in their pajamas. We ran by and out the door as fast as we could. While walking Amye home, I realized that I was faced with a bit of a problem: how was I going to get back into the house and up the stairs with out him seeing? There was no avoiding it. I decided that if I wanted to get upstairs (which I did so I could put on my makeup and look pretty), I would just have to suck it up and let him see me. I walked in the house, mumbled a quick hello, and shot up the stairs. I did my makeup, and when I felt I looked cute enough, I came out. But, of course, by the time I came out of the bathroom he had already left. Bummer. I had spent all that time in the bathroom making myself presentable, and now I didn’t have anyone to present to! What a rip-off. I went into my to find something to keep myself busy.
A little later, I heard my dad outside talking to someone, so I went outside to see who. When I got out there, the boy was there with his dad and step-mom (Well, I didn’t know she was his step-mom at the time, but whatever). I was excited! I was finally introduced to the boy, and guess who it was. It was Steve! He looked so different from the time I first saw him. He didn’t have his medium-long black hair anymore, and he was wearing a beanie. We started talking, and he was a really nice guy. We got along really well. But, to my disappointment, he had to leave. He and his step-mom, Lisa, had just come to pick up Ron. Right now you are probably wondering why Ron had been at our house anyway. Well, I wondered the same thing. Later, I found out the reason: my dad, Ron, and Dan (the pianist) were starting their own band, and the practices would be at my house every Sunday. I was stoked. This meant that I would get to see Steve every Sunday, assuming that he’d come, of course. Why wouldn’t he though, right?
…Aw man, I got really carried away writing my story. It is almost midnight now, and I have a busy day tomorrow. I’ll write more later.
Love Always,
Leah Webb*
June 4, 2005
Dear Diary,
Ok, I’m back now. I can continue with my story. Now, where was I? Oh yes…
What reason would he have to not come to band practice and hang out with the beautiful me (haha)? Well, as it turns out, he did come to band practice every Sunday. We always had so much fun. We’d watch movies with the volume turned all the way up so we could hear over band practice, play games, go to the pool, and do lots of other fun stuff. Over time, we got to be really close; like, extremely close.
We hung out all of the time. He’d come over to my house three or four times a week. He’d help me with my homework, play games, go to the pool and the park, and layout in the sun with me. We always had the best of times together.
Then, on Saturday, August 2, 2003, we went to an Angel’s game with our church. Remember, a few months had passed since we first met. We had gotten so close that we had a little crush on each other…ok, so it wasn’t a little crush. It was a huge crush. So, we went to the Angel’s game. During the game we got up and walked around for a while. We went to the waterfall and both made wishes. On our way back to our seats, he stopped me and said, “Leah, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a long time.” At that moment, my heart started racing. He continued to say, “Leah, will you be my girlfriend?” I was so excited the words just jumped out of my mouth, and I said, “Yes! I thought you were never going to ask!” I then told him that my wish had come true, and he said his did too. We had both wished for him to get some courage and hurry up and ask me out. We were both overcome with joy. We were finally together!
There was just one problem: my parents. You see, at the time, Steve was 18 about to turn 19, and I had recently turned 15. My parents didn’t have a problem with us being friends, but they would have a problem with us being boyfriend and girlfriend. But, we didn’t think of that. We were just happy to be together. We knew we’d have to keep it a secret from everybody, we just didn’t realize how dire the consequences would be.
We kept it a secret from everybody for a long time. My friends at school started becoming more and more suspicious, because Steve and I were always together. He would even take the bus all the way from his house in Santa Ana to visit me at school during lunchtime. And, when lunch was over, he’d wait on campus until school was out and come over to my house. If I went out, he came too. That’s the way it was. We were inseparable.
After about three months of this, my parents started getting suspicious as well. They would ask me all these questions about him, wondering why we had to talk on the phone all the time even if he had come over that same day. And, what in the world was going on between us. Steve and I kept lying to them; always assuring them that nothing was going on and that we were just friends.
Then, one fateful night about four months after we started dating, our happy little world came crashing down. That night, Steve and I went to church, like we did every Thursday night. We walked to the park and hung out there for a little while, and then headed to church which was just around the corner. We were running late, so we didn’t get to stop and eat like we had planned. We went to church, and stayed until about 8:45. Church usually got out around 9, but since we were really hungry, we decided to leave early. We walked to KFC and then to the park were we ate and hung out for a while. Unfortunately, my phone was on vibrate the whole time, so I didn’t know that I had missed about five calls from my mom, wondering where the heck I was. When I finally looked at my phone, I saw I had missed a call from my dad, who was out of town on a business trip. I called him to see what was up, and he told me that my mom was freaking out and had no idea where I was. Then I realized that she had come to pick us up, but we weren’t there. I had forgotten to tell her that we were going to walk home. I had gotten so used to always walking home, I assumed she know that we would. Big mistake. My friend Brittany told her that we had left 15 minutes early, and she didn’t know where we went. Imagine you were my mom with thousands of thoughts going through her head while having no clue where her daughter and some boy were. Well, as soon as I got off the phone with my dad I called my mom. She was extremely angry. Steve and I ran as fast as we could all the way from the park back to my house.
When we got to my house, my mom was outside standing by Steve’s grandmother’s car fuming. When she saw us, she went off on Steve. She yelled at him and screamed, “How dare you! How could you do this to me!? You’ve both betrayed me!” She also said that Steve and I were to never see each other again and if we did she would call the police and have him arrested for statutory rape. Through all of her screaming and yelling, Steve and I stood there silently. She made me give him back the ring he gave me for our three-month anniversary and then go inside. I went inside and Steve left. In addition to not being allowed to see Steve ever again, I was grounded indefinitely. I didn’t care though. My heart was crushed because I thought I was loosing Steve forever. For all I cared, I could lose everything, but as long as I had Steve I’d be fine. But, I didn’t have Steve, and I wasn’t fine.
A few weeks passed by, and Steve and I figured out a way to communicate with each other: he would call me on one of my friends cell phones at lunch and talk to me then. Since I didn’t have my cell phone anymore he couldn’t call me on that. But, we realized that we could call the number and leave messages for each other. I gave him my password so he could check my voicemail, and we would leave messages for each other that way. Since we weren’t accustomed to not seeing each other all the time, being apart was very hard for us. We missed each other terribly. So, in order to be together, we’d sneak around whenever possible. We loved each other, so we couldn’t give up that easily, right? Well, one day my mom caught us, and I got in trouble again. But, again I didn’t care as long as she didn’t put Steve in jail. Thank God she didn’t call the police. Even after this we snuck around. We talked whenever we could, and I’d get caught, get in trouble, then do it all over again. This happened a few times. I would get in big trouble, but my mom never called the police.
Finally, my mom decided that we should talk to a psychologist. She helped us with our problems, because this whole ordeal had made my mother and I grow apart. I hated her for not letting Steve and I be together, so I gave her hell for it. She was resentful as well, so that added to the chaos in our relationship. The shrink, after meeting a few times, told my mom that she thought it might be a good idea to do a trial run of Steve and I dating, but, of course, under strict rules. So, we decided to try that. Steve and I were willing to do anything to be together, so we agreed.
…Wow, I wrote a lot tonight. I am really tired, so I am going to stop here. I’ll finish up tomorrow. Good night.
Love Always,
Leah Webb*
June 5, 2005
Dear Diary,
Ok, I’m back. Now I can finish up the rest of my story. Ok, here goes…
My mom hated the new setup, and we still had problems. She would get upset with me if I was on the phone with him two times in one day, or find some other stupid reason to yell at me. The tension between my mom, Steve, and I caused mine and Steve’s relationship to suffer. Every time I’d ask her if I could do something with Steve she’d say no. It pissed Steve and I off a lot, and he was always getting upset because he could never see me.
A few weeks ago, Steve and I got into an argument because I couldn’t hang out with him one night. The argument escalated into a huge fight which led to me kicking a hole in the wall, and our breakup (one of a few but the most serious). Well, a week later, we got back together. It was kept a secret, because my mom didn’t want us to get back together, and I was waiting for a good time to tell her. After about a week of her not knowing, she tells me that if Steve and I get back together I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything anymore. No more modeling. No more going out. No nothing. The next morning, when Steve called, I broke the terrible news to him. I told him that it might be best if we broke up, because I didn’t want to not be able to model anymore. He was very upset, as was I. After talking and arguing for a while, he said, “Fine!” and we hung up. Less than two seconds later, my house phone rings, and I immediately know it’s Steve calling my mom. She answered before I got a chance to get it. He said to her, “You’ve won. You finally won. Are you happy now? I am finally out of your lives forever,” and hung up. She was confused because she didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t care though, all she knew was that Steve was gone and she was happy. I didn’t know what to do. I felt terrible. I didn’t want to break up with him, but I felt I had to.
The next day it hit me like a train. I started freaking out. I cried, and cried, and cried. I wrote him a message on Myspace that told him not to give up on me yet, and that I was going to fight for him. But, it was too late. He was sick and tired of being jerked up and down like a yo-yo. He felt he was being controlled by my mom, and he couldn’t take the pain anymore. He refused to talk to me for a few days. I called him and left messages, but not one got a reply. Finally, late Thursday night he called me. He said that we could talk about everything on Friday at four o’clock, then we said goodbye.
All day Friday I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait until four to talk to him. Well, four came and went. Then 4:15, 4:30, 4:45, and finally at five o’clock he called. He was very short with me. He acted like he didn’t want to talk to me, and it hurt. We didn’t get to talk long, because my mom came outside and got upset with me for talking to him. He told me that he’d just call me later when he was at Tavi’s house (Tavi is his little sister). We said bye and hung-up. I went back into the house and told my mom that I’d rather give up everything than not have him. She said, “Fine, then. No more modeling, going out, or anything,” and I was fine with that.
About ten minutes later, Steve called me, and I told him what I had done. He asked me why I would do such a thing, and I told him it was because I’d rather have him than anything else. He said he thought it was sweet, but I should take it back; to tell my mom that I didn’t mean it. I refused. We talked a little bit more, and he told me that he needed time and space. It broke my heart, because I was hoping it would be like the rest of the times and we’d just get back together. This time it was different though; it wouldn’t be as easy now. We said goodbye and hung-up. He called my mom and told her to give me all my privileges back, and that he was just going to “walk away,” as he put it.
That day, I cried my eyes out. I felt as if my heart had been ripped out, thrown on the ground, and stomped on. He refused to talk to me again. He ignored my calls and my Myspace messages. It hurt really bad. Then, one day, he called me. I was so excited! He said he wanted to check on me and see if I was ok. I was so happy to hear from him. I had hoped that he was calling me to tell me that he missed me, and grovel for me to come back to him. To my dismay, it didn’t happen. He just wanted to check on me and that’s all. After we talked a few minutes he told me he’d call me in a few days. I’m just glad he called. I was sure he wouldn’t talk to me until mid-July like he had originally said. It shows that he still cares for me.
In these past two years I have learned a lot. I now know that I should treasure all of the little things and not take anything for granted, because I never know when they’ll be taken away. Also, although I do not think it’s fair or like it one bit, my mom loves me, and she just wants to take care of me. I have learned so much through these past years, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
I don’t know what is going to happen next. All I can do is hope for the best. I hope that everything will be ok with Steve and I, but I don’t know what will happen. I can only hope. I know that life will go on, and my story will continue…
Love Always,
Leah Webb*