(no subject)
today has been the worst day ever.
school was fine. but when i got home, in a matter of an hour, everything has gone downhill.
and it all began with a phone call from steve, just to say hi.
then it turned into a huge fight, with him saying i never have time for him, and i dont love him, and all that kind of bullshit.
anyways...it all ended with me kicking a pretty big hole in the wall, my mom telling steve he is not to call me or see me again, and with him cussing out my mom, which, by the way, i am not going to stand for.
i cried.
but im pretty much over it. i love him, but i need to have more self respect than that. i need to get on with my life. i have been through so much with him, and done so much for him. i know that he's been through a whole lot with me too, and that its been very rough on both of us, but i never, ever have done what he's done to me.
he has cussed out my mom, told her she could go straight to hell for all he cares.
he twisted around my every word into something i did not say or even have the intention of saying ot thinking. i said i needed to call my dad and tell him about the whole in the wall and he screams at me "so what...it's MY fucking fault now!?" and then goes off on me.
i, in no way, even implied that. all i said was that i needed to call my dad and let him know, and he freaks out on me.
he is very minupulative, although he may not mean to. he makes me feel guilty about spending one night out with my friends, instead of spending more time with him. also, he calls me after school all the time and asks me if i can hang out, and when i say i can't because i have homework or a project i have to work on he gets upset because he thinks that i dont want to hang out with him. which isnt true...but i have to do my school work. especially since its the end of the year, and ive got all these tests and projects and papers due. im not going to have as much time as i did before. and i told him all this. and i said...but when school is out, ill be able to hang out with you way more often, and he said ok. but then this afternoon he freaked out on me. and i freaked out on him. and pretty much everybody freaked out on everybody.
then a little bit later, he calls my phone and leaves me a message saying that "this is ME breaking up with YOU" and "oh yeah, your mom can go to hell!"
then later i get another message of him saying he's sorry and to tell my mom that he is sorry. and that he thinks it would be best if we didnt see eachother for a while.
well i love him, but i am NOT getting back together with him.
he can be a totally awesome guy and all, but i cant take the guilt trips and all that anymore.
and to stevi and tavi...i love you guys and i hope that because me and steve arent on great terms right now that you wont...i dont know...think im a bitch or anything.
you are both awesome, amazing girls and i really want to be friends with you both. so we better hang out soon. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAVI!! (in 1 hour and 8 minutes) =o)
i hope you have a great time tomorrow! and get all of your birthday wishes♥
well i have to go to bed now...i have SAT testing tomorrow and im thinking im going to be dead...its like 11PM and i have to be at Capo at 7:45AM
ugh.
love all of you.
♥
leah
school was fine. but when i got home, in a matter of an hour, everything has gone downhill.
and it all began with a phone call from steve, just to say hi.
then it turned into a huge fight, with him saying i never have time for him, and i dont love him, and all that kind of bullshit.
anyways...it all ended with me kicking a pretty big hole in the wall, my mom telling steve he is not to call me or see me again, and with him cussing out my mom, which, by the way, i am not going to stand for.
i cried.
but im pretty much over it. i love him, but i need to have more self respect than that. i need to get on with my life. i have been through so much with him, and done so much for him. i know that he's been through a whole lot with me too, and that its been very rough on both of us, but i never, ever have done what he's done to me.
he has cussed out my mom, told her she could go straight to hell for all he cares.
he twisted around my every word into something i did not say or even have the intention of saying ot thinking. i said i needed to call my dad and tell him about the whole in the wall and he screams at me "so what...it's MY fucking fault now!?" and then goes off on me.
i, in no way, even implied that. all i said was that i needed to call my dad and let him know, and he freaks out on me.
he is very minupulative, although he may not mean to. he makes me feel guilty about spending one night out with my friends, instead of spending more time with him. also, he calls me after school all the time and asks me if i can hang out, and when i say i can't because i have homework or a project i have to work on he gets upset because he thinks that i dont want to hang out with him. which isnt true...but i have to do my school work. especially since its the end of the year, and ive got all these tests and projects and papers due. im not going to have as much time as i did before. and i told him all this. and i said...but when school is out, ill be able to hang out with you way more often, and he said ok. but then this afternoon he freaked out on me. and i freaked out on him. and pretty much everybody freaked out on everybody.
then a little bit later, he calls my phone and leaves me a message saying that "this is ME breaking up with YOU" and "oh yeah, your mom can go to hell!"
then later i get another message of him saying he's sorry and to tell my mom that he is sorry. and that he thinks it would be best if we didnt see eachother for a while.
well i love him, but i am NOT getting back together with him.
he can be a totally awesome guy and all, but i cant take the guilt trips and all that anymore.
and to stevi and tavi...i love you guys and i hope that because me and steve arent on great terms right now that you wont...i dont know...think im a bitch or anything.
you are both awesome, amazing girls and i really want to be friends with you both. so we better hang out soon. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAVI!! (in 1 hour and 8 minutes) =o)
i hope you have a great time tomorrow! and get all of your birthday wishes♥
well i have to go to bed now...i have SAT testing tomorrow and im thinking im going to be dead...its like 11PM and i have to be at Capo at 7:45AM
ugh.
love all of you.
♥
leah