(no subject)
So I decided to email my paternal grandmother to let her know how I'm feeling. If you know what's been going on with my father and I in the couple years, you'll know where this stems from. What prompted my email was the fact that I emailed her in June to tell her I was expecting, to which she answered, asking a bunch of questions and telling me she wanted me to send her a picture when we had an ultrasound. I sent her picture and didn't get a response for almost 4 months, at which point she asked more questions (like what we would name her, etc.) and I a month later I still have no response.
This is what happened.
From Me
I just wanted to say that I find it funny how you claim to care about me and have not forgotten me, yet it takes months for you to reply to a simple email. It took over 3 months to reply to my last email. I'm not going to pretend to know how busy your life is, but I'm pretty damn sure that it's not busy enough to not allot five minutes to type a quick "hello" and click the SEND button.
I also find it interesting that you told me that you could not come to my wedding because Kelli had "just announced" that she was getting married at the end of summer and that you were unable to come up for both. I understood and honestly, I was fine with that. But, then you email me a few weeks ago to tell me that you're coming up for the Holidays? Well, you blew it there. If you could come up for Kelli's wedding and Christmas, why couldn't you decide to skip Christmas and come up for my wedding instead? For someone who supposedly loves and cares about me, you certainly have an odd way of showing it.
It apparently means nothing to you or Kenny that I'm having a baby in a little over two months. Does it not matter to you that you're going to be a great-grandmother or that he is going to be a grandfather? It sure seems like neither of you really give a damn. Well, let me assure you that such behavior just leads me to believe that the both of you will continue to be purely biological relatives and nothing else. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not going to subject my child to that. She doesn't deserve that. If either of you have a problem with me, so be it, but Olivia didn't do anything to you and she deserves to have a family that cares about her. And she does, but it doesn't include you at this point. Maybe someday you'll shock me and change your tune, but since it doesn't seem like it at this point, I'm not holding my breath.
Anyway, I don't know when you're planning to arrive for the Holidays, but I will not be around so don't attempt to call me. I didn't want to wait around all week, expecting you to call and end up being disappointed, so we made plans and will be driving up to Pittsburg to visit Pam & Ray the weekend after Christmas.
From Ruby:
Got your email last night. I was so angry I wanted to take some time to reply. I am definitely not going to go into a "he said, she said" sort of thing. To me the bottom line in this is the fact that you have disowned me. The reason for this is what? I didn't email you when you thought I should.......That I am going up for the holidays instead of going to your wedding.......That you might (like others before you) have to hang around waiting for a call or someone to show up and be disappointed when it doesn't happen.......? If and when the day comes when I am going to disown someone, you can bet that it won't be for some minor, nondescript, unbelievable reason. I do want you to know one thing though. I am going up for the holidays because the cost of the flight was a gift to me.
I want you to also know that I most certainly did not deserve this from you. I have never had anyone disown me before, but if that is how you feel,so be it.
I do wish you, Curt, and Olivia the best of everything. Enjoy your Holidays
From Me:
I didn't disown anybody - The two of you disowned me a long time ago, you just have a hard time realizing it or rather a hard time admitting the fact. And what might seem like minor, nondescript reasons to you are rather important to me, so don't try telling me that they shouldn't mean anything. Just because they mean nothing to you doesn't mean that it is the same for the other person involved.
Forgive me, but I thought you'd be excited and happy about being a great-grandmother, but after waiting over 3 months for a reply, I was rather disheartened that you didn't seem to give a rat's ass. Excuse me for thinking this way, but when I have another grandmother and a grandfather who actually expressed emotion when they were told, I kind of expected the same response. I didn't expect anything from Kenny and that's exactly what I got, so I wasn't as disappointed, but I expected more from you.
If it was really that hard for you to come up here for my wedding, I would have been more than willing to help you out and I was even offered the money to fly you up here. But, it didn't seem like you were too upset about not being able to attend in your email so I decided that it probably was in my best interest to just let it go. It would have been nice to get a call when you were up for Kelli's wedding though so that maybe I could have seen you. Instead, I sat knowing that you were here and didn't care to say hello and it really ate me up inside.
And no offense, but I don't sit around waiting for people to call, which is probably why your son and I haven't talked to each other in over a year. He expects me to be the one to pick up the phone and call him yet he can't do the same. I'm not going to waste my Holiday pining for a phone call that probably won't come and then be miserable because of it. It's ruined a lot of days of my life and I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to let people treat me that way anymore. My father has missed out on my graduation, my wedding, and now he will miss out on his first (and possibly only) grandchild, but that's his own fault. If you want to miss out on these things too, then it's your loss and not mine. I have no problem welcoming the two of you with open arms, but you don't allow me to do so because you're both too stubborn. Nobody is ever going to change that and I'm not going to kill myself trying to. I deserve better than that.
I have agonized over this for over a year and you know what? I'm over it. I'm not going to let myself be hurt by people who obviously don't give a damn about me. Do you know what I did a few weeks ago at my brother-in-laws wedding? I cried while the bride was dancing with her father, because guess what? I didn't get to do that at my own wedding and I should have. Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to let my daughter have her hopes crushed because of family members. Curt has watched me cry over this for the past year and I'm just not going to make him go through that anymore. I know what it's like to see somebody you love in pain and I don't wish that upon him or my daughter, so I need to do what I can to be strong for them because that's what you do when you love someone.
This is what happened.
From Me
I just wanted to say that I find it funny how you claim to care about me and have not forgotten me, yet it takes months for you to reply to a simple email. It took over 3 months to reply to my last email. I'm not going to pretend to know how busy your life is, but I'm pretty damn sure that it's not busy enough to not allot five minutes to type a quick "hello" and click the SEND button.
I also find it interesting that you told me that you could not come to my wedding because Kelli had "just announced" that she was getting married at the end of summer and that you were unable to come up for both. I understood and honestly, I was fine with that. But, then you email me a few weeks ago to tell me that you're coming up for the Holidays? Well, you blew it there. If you could come up for Kelli's wedding and Christmas, why couldn't you decide to skip Christmas and come up for my wedding instead? For someone who supposedly loves and cares about me, you certainly have an odd way of showing it.
It apparently means nothing to you or Kenny that I'm having a baby in a little over two months. Does it not matter to you that you're going to be a great-grandmother or that he is going to be a grandfather? It sure seems like neither of you really give a damn. Well, let me assure you that such behavior just leads me to believe that the both of you will continue to be purely biological relatives and nothing else. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not going to subject my child to that. She doesn't deserve that. If either of you have a problem with me, so be it, but Olivia didn't do anything to you and she deserves to have a family that cares about her. And she does, but it doesn't include you at this point. Maybe someday you'll shock me and change your tune, but since it doesn't seem like it at this point, I'm not holding my breath.
Anyway, I don't know when you're planning to arrive for the Holidays, but I will not be around so don't attempt to call me. I didn't want to wait around all week, expecting you to call and end up being disappointed, so we made plans and will be driving up to Pittsburg to visit Pam & Ray the weekend after Christmas.
From Ruby:
Got your email last night. I was so angry I wanted to take some time to reply. I am definitely not going to go into a "he said, she said" sort of thing. To me the bottom line in this is the fact that you have disowned me. The reason for this is what? I didn't email you when you thought I should.......That I am going up for the holidays instead of going to your wedding.......That you might (like others before you) have to hang around waiting for a call or someone to show up and be disappointed when it doesn't happen.......? If and when the day comes when I am going to disown someone, you can bet that it won't be for some minor, nondescript, unbelievable reason. I do want you to know one thing though. I am going up for the holidays because the cost of the flight was a gift to me.
I want you to also know that I most certainly did not deserve this from you. I have never had anyone disown me before, but if that is how you feel,so be it.
I do wish you, Curt, and Olivia the best of everything. Enjoy your Holidays
From Me:
I didn't disown anybody - The two of you disowned me a long time ago, you just have a hard time realizing it or rather a hard time admitting the fact. And what might seem like minor, nondescript reasons to you are rather important to me, so don't try telling me that they shouldn't mean anything. Just because they mean nothing to you doesn't mean that it is the same for the other person involved.
Forgive me, but I thought you'd be excited and happy about being a great-grandmother, but after waiting over 3 months for a reply, I was rather disheartened that you didn't seem to give a rat's ass. Excuse me for thinking this way, but when I have another grandmother and a grandfather who actually expressed emotion when they were told, I kind of expected the same response. I didn't expect anything from Kenny and that's exactly what I got, so I wasn't as disappointed, but I expected more from you.
If it was really that hard for you to come up here for my wedding, I would have been more than willing to help you out and I was even offered the money to fly you up here. But, it didn't seem like you were too upset about not being able to attend in your email so I decided that it probably was in my best interest to just let it go. It would have been nice to get a call when you were up for Kelli's wedding though so that maybe I could have seen you. Instead, I sat knowing that you were here and didn't care to say hello and it really ate me up inside.
And no offense, but I don't sit around waiting for people to call, which is probably why your son and I haven't talked to each other in over a year. He expects me to be the one to pick up the phone and call him yet he can't do the same. I'm not going to waste my Holiday pining for a phone call that probably won't come and then be miserable because of it. It's ruined a lot of days of my life and I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to let people treat me that way anymore. My father has missed out on my graduation, my wedding, and now he will miss out on his first (and possibly only) grandchild, but that's his own fault. If you want to miss out on these things too, then it's your loss and not mine. I have no problem welcoming the two of you with open arms, but you don't allow me to do so because you're both too stubborn. Nobody is ever going to change that and I'm not going to kill myself trying to. I deserve better than that.
I have agonized over this for over a year and you know what? I'm over it. I'm not going to let myself be hurt by people who obviously don't give a damn about me. Do you know what I did a few weeks ago at my brother-in-laws wedding? I cried while the bride was dancing with her father, because guess what? I didn't get to do that at my own wedding and I should have. Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to let my daughter have her hopes crushed because of family members. Curt has watched me cry over this for the past year and I'm just not going to make him go through that anymore. I know what it's like to see somebody you love in pain and I don't wish that upon him or my daughter, so I need to do what I can to be strong for them because that's what you do when you love someone.