(no subject)
You know when i was in high school i use to think about what it would be like to be in college, meet new people, have real friends, friends for life, i wasnt really close to anyone in high school, i spent alot of my time alone, i had friends but nothing real close, or nothing that ever felt real to me, and then i went to college, and my freshmen year was amazing, i had never been happier in my life...some may say it was cuz i had a girlfriend, and they would be partially right but that wasnt the only reason, i had friends that meant alot to me, i felt like they were friends, this includes my girlfriend at the time, and now i only hang out with one of them, i love my friend jess, she is an amazing girl and im glad that we are such good friends, but why do the other friendships have to go, granted 1 of them is my ex but i loved her just as much as a friend as i did as girlfriend, she was to me my best friend last year, and then there was charles my friendship with him has prolly only fallen apart do to the growth in my friendship with jess, but i just wonder why did the 4 of us let things fall apart, what happened were we really friends? or were we nothing to each other? was it just 2 couples that happened to spend alot of time together, id give anything to be able to feel the feelings i got from these friendships last year, and i know change is a part of life, but i honestly am not sure that i will ever, with the exception of jess, feel as close to people as i felt with those 3. I find it very strange that 2 of my friends from last year who were inseperable and now live together rarely talk, and i know that none of my business its absolutely crazy cuz its really hard for me to imagine them not spending time together.
All im saying (and it really doesnt matter cuz no one ever reads this) is that why do i feel like my freshmen year of college may be the best year ill ever have of my life, and why is it that, even tho im making tons of new friends i cant seem to forget about the old, I am unablt to create a bond like i had last year the friendships that were so dear to my heart, it makes me think twice about ever allowing myself to become close with anyone cuz this is how it ends up stuck remembering them and actually never talking to them...
All im saying (and it really doesnt matter cuz no one ever reads this) is that why do i feel like my freshmen year of college may be the best year ill ever have of my life, and why is it that, even tho im making tons of new friends i cant seem to forget about the old, I am unablt to create a bond like i had last year the friendships that were so dear to my heart, it makes me think twice about ever allowing myself to become close with anyone cuz this is how it ends up stuck remembering them and actually never talking to them...