It's been a year...
1) List (as many as you want) things you want to say to people but know you never will...or will I?/Have I?
2) Don't say who they are.
Its been almost a year since I've done this and my feelings and perspectives have all changed. You can guess which ones are who, and most likely, I'll tell you if you ask. Enjoy.
1. I'm going to start with you. I like you because we think along the same levels. We both think in sincerity and talk in hilarity. I always have liked you for that. You're one of my brothers and my best friends. For the most part, you're a joy to be around, and you don't take bullshit. You get things done. You're assertive. You're a hell of a nice guy to the people you like...and you're forward with the people you don't like. That takes balls. I don't like being around you and your girlfriend at the same time. I don't like the way you treat each other. Sure, it isn't my business, but I will try to avoid the combination of both of you at all costs. I have my own way of doing things in my relationships, which makes me somewhat judgemental towards others. Don't take it personally, but don't try and force an awkward situation around me either. I love you like my brother. No questions asked.
2. You're a genious in many ways. Musically, socially, and mentally. However, you don't put nearly enough effort into your potential. You're positive outlook on your life, as well as my life is phenominal and can only make things better. That's what you strive for and that's what you do. You make people's lives more tolerable because of your will to do so. You're unbelievably lazy, but who isn't? That will be gone in time. There hasn't been many people there for me this past year like you have. You've believed in me in every way possible, and that kind of love and respect isn't something I could ever even begin to pay-back. You're a one of a kind person, and different in the most genuine ways. The only thing in store for the future of you and I is much more friendship to come.
3. Alright man, you've got to grow up sometime. Life isn't something that is going to hand you anything but a bag of oppurtunities and YOU have to take the initiative to jump on them. You're completely unreliable in your social tasks, which makes you even more unreliable in your professional tasks. This is not a good starting point. You have to know this, but do you understand it? Where will you be in five years if your dreams don't come true? It has always been Same Shit, Different Day with you...but I will admit, you've picked your ass up and started moving down the right road the last few months and I give you props for it. Just keep it going. You've been an amazing brother and friend to me, and we've had some amazing times that I will never forget. We didn't start off on the right foot back in the day, and now I'd take a bullet for you. That's what I'd call a complete turn-around. Good luck, friend.
4. I really feel like I lost touch with you there for a while. I felt like you kind of just took a trip to the moon, or your own little planet. We used to be tight. We used to have non-stop laughs and hang out constantly. I wanted to save you from people that I knew would hurt you. That wasn't really something you wanted to hear at the time. I think maybe that is what made us drift. I miss ya man. I miss the better part of a year we could of been hanging out during. Lets get back to that point. I have a feeling we're starting to make the journey there again. Believe it or not, you changed my life. "If it wasn't for you, it'd be raining on my gravestone right now.". It still gives me goosebumps. True. Friendship.
5. You are the only person in my entire life that I actually regret getting romantically involved with. You should get some sort of prize for that, because I've never regretted doing anything in my life. You hurt me. You lied to me. You're a liar....and you're completely content with that. That's cool and everything....but....most likely it is going to all come crashing down on you. Good luck in being a complete and utter cheap replica of someone that does matter to me.
6. I'm an angel. You're a demon. Why wouldn't we get along? We're in the same line of work...and were there for a while in more ways than one. We agree on everything. There's a connection between us. One that I have never had with anyone else on this planet. An artist to artist connection. You were my the fastest person to ever become a best friend. I will NEVER lose contact with you, and not just because The Count told me not to. You changed me in a way I was looking to be changed. I changed you too. I helped you. I know it. You bought me dinner for it. I miss you the most, and I saw you yesterday morning. Lies A Mistake will always be dedicated to you. I love you man.
7. Ah...speaking of angels. I am YOU'RE personal, one-of-a-kind freshly washed, waxed, and scented angel!....and you are my best friend. I've got a lot of best friends, but you are truly amazing. For once I can comfortably say that I am completely happy and always will be with the person my other best friend is dating. You complete him, and you cherish me. You don't take advantage of me. You are absolutely irreplaceable. There isn't much more I can even say. I only get to see you maybe once a week...but that once a week is partly the best part. I love you, dearie.
8. Here we are again. Another year gone by....and what do you know? We are STILL working together musically. For some reason that doesn't suprise me....why? Because you are a musical drumming MACHINE. You're JUST starting to unlock the pontential you have inside of you....I'm going to be scared of you when you're 20. You'll be absolutely insane. You're a dick. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. But that's cool...because I know your ways. I love how you test all the girls I see with their sense of humor because you realize that if someone is with me, they HAVE to have a sense of a humor...and a good one too. You still always look out for me, and always ask me if I'm okay...even if sometimes I'm stubborn. You'd be the first one to the hospital if I ever needed you. That's never been a doubt in my mind. I love ya and I hope you do nothing but grow in talent.
9. We've had a lot of talks over the past year. Most of the time you were right about the outcomes, but you understood why I had to take the chances I did. That is all I could really ask for from you. You're someone I could count of with anything, except maybe spending some social time with your friends, and taking a break from the challanges of life. Everyone needs a break sooner or later. Barrel. That's all I even really need to say. You're a HELLACIOUS guitarist. You work your ass off, and it shows unbelievably. You're going to be famous one day, with or without me. People will chant your name. People will want to learn YOUR solos. They already do. We've bonded in the last three years, and we will continue to do so. And remember...no matter what the challanges are...in the great words of Vance Valortoh....Seldom is love not worth it.
10. Darlin, this past year has been a roller coaster for you and I. Things happened that shouldn't have, and things were said that shouldn't be said....but we all make mistakes and say dumb things. You're like my little sister and you always have been. I act all upset when you jump on me to try and wake me up some mornings, but I love it. I love knowing I have a friend that still like to laugh and play and jump on me and make me hide under my blankets like a little kid. You like Incubus, I like Incubus. You like Zelda, I like Zelda. That rocks. You are my little sister, so do me a favor, and take good care of my best friend. He needs you, and he loves you.....oh yeah. You're mom's a bitch too.....but she's still hott. :) Love ya.
11. I really don't know what to say to you. I get a confused feeling when i think about you anymore. I used to think about you and blush because I was so head-over-heels in love with you. Not anymore. I've changed. I just didn't need that unwanted feeling, and so I got rid of it. I took it out on you. I shouldn't have, but I did. I neglected your friendship. I still kind of do. It'll go away. I still love being around you, and I still love talking to you. It will just take time for me to consider you someone that I really do need after all. But I'll get there. You're a great friend....whether I tell you enough or not. I love you.
12. You probably won't read this, because you usually don't care about bulletins or blogs or journal entries. But you're the greatest person I know, or anyone knows. You are Vance. You are my bash brother. We love to drink...and we love battle metal. No drama with you...still. You're the best, man. No other way of going about it.
13. I don't have to say much to you, because we've had some good talks in the last week. All I can say, is get your life back together. You're an amazing guy, you're funny, good looking....little short, but hey, it works. Just get your shit together....I have belief in you bubs. I'll help you in any way you need.
14. You are absolutely beautiful...in pretty much every way. I do nothing but smile when i'm around you because you have heart and soul and smiles that brighten everyone else's days. I miss the days we used to hang, but we will get there again. I never, ever want you to feel bad for any reason, and as long as you tell me what's wrong, I promise to always make you smile. You're an amazing person, and I don't care who doesn't see it. I do, and I always will...even if you do have minute eyeballs. Hehe.
15. What happened? Why have you changed so much for the worse? You were amazing to hang out with at one point and time. I want that back, and so does everyone else. Drop the care for a piece of ass. Drop the care to be a cool guy. Drop the care to do anything but yourself. Because that is what we miss. We miss YOU. You get those moments back, but they dissapear with great ease. Just work for it. I love you and can't wait to see YOU again. Not the cool guy.
16. All I can say is....I never should of let you go...I never should of let you slip through my arms...
17. Last but definitly not the least. My bub. My bro. My CHOIRBOY. I don't even know what to say, man. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not wondering what my best friend is up to. I wish you luck in everything you do, with whoever it may be...and hopefully its my angelic client. :). I just don't know what to say other than that you're an incredible friend, and I love you with all of my heart, man. You're the reason I'm here today...you've saved my life on more than one occasion in more than one way.
Peace and Love.
2) Don't say who they are.
Its been almost a year since I've done this and my feelings and perspectives have all changed. You can guess which ones are who, and most likely, I'll tell you if you ask. Enjoy.
1. I'm going to start with you. I like you because we think along the same levels. We both think in sincerity and talk in hilarity. I always have liked you for that. You're one of my brothers and my best friends. For the most part, you're a joy to be around, and you don't take bullshit. You get things done. You're assertive. You're a hell of a nice guy to the people you like...and you're forward with the people you don't like. That takes balls. I don't like being around you and your girlfriend at the same time. I don't like the way you treat each other. Sure, it isn't my business, but I will try to avoid the combination of both of you at all costs. I have my own way of doing things in my relationships, which makes me somewhat judgemental towards others. Don't take it personally, but don't try and force an awkward situation around me either. I love you like my brother. No questions asked.
2. You're a genious in many ways. Musically, socially, and mentally. However, you don't put nearly enough effort into your potential. You're positive outlook on your life, as well as my life is phenominal and can only make things better. That's what you strive for and that's what you do. You make people's lives more tolerable because of your will to do so. You're unbelievably lazy, but who isn't? That will be gone in time. There hasn't been many people there for me this past year like you have. You've believed in me in every way possible, and that kind of love and respect isn't something I could ever even begin to pay-back. You're a one of a kind person, and different in the most genuine ways. The only thing in store for the future of you and I is much more friendship to come.
3. Alright man, you've got to grow up sometime. Life isn't something that is going to hand you anything but a bag of oppurtunities and YOU have to take the initiative to jump on them. You're completely unreliable in your social tasks, which makes you even more unreliable in your professional tasks. This is not a good starting point. You have to know this, but do you understand it? Where will you be in five years if your dreams don't come true? It has always been Same Shit, Different Day with you...but I will admit, you've picked your ass up and started moving down the right road the last few months and I give you props for it. Just keep it going. You've been an amazing brother and friend to me, and we've had some amazing times that I will never forget. We didn't start off on the right foot back in the day, and now I'd take a bullet for you. That's what I'd call a complete turn-around. Good luck, friend.
4. I really feel like I lost touch with you there for a while. I felt like you kind of just took a trip to the moon, or your own little planet. We used to be tight. We used to have non-stop laughs and hang out constantly. I wanted to save you from people that I knew would hurt you. That wasn't really something you wanted to hear at the time. I think maybe that is what made us drift. I miss ya man. I miss the better part of a year we could of been hanging out during. Lets get back to that point. I have a feeling we're starting to make the journey there again. Believe it or not, you changed my life. "If it wasn't for you, it'd be raining on my gravestone right now.". It still gives me goosebumps. True. Friendship.
5. You are the only person in my entire life that I actually regret getting romantically involved with. You should get some sort of prize for that, because I've never regretted doing anything in my life. You hurt me. You lied to me. You're a liar....and you're completely content with that. That's cool and everything....but....most likely it is going to all come crashing down on you. Good luck in being a complete and utter cheap replica of someone that does matter to me.
6. I'm an angel. You're a demon. Why wouldn't we get along? We're in the same line of work...and were there for a while in more ways than one. We agree on everything. There's a connection between us. One that I have never had with anyone else on this planet. An artist to artist connection. You were my the fastest person to ever become a best friend. I will NEVER lose contact with you, and not just because The Count told me not to. You changed me in a way I was looking to be changed. I changed you too. I helped you. I know it. You bought me dinner for it. I miss you the most, and I saw you yesterday morning. Lies A Mistake will always be dedicated to you. I love you man.
7. Ah...speaking of angels. I am YOU'RE personal, one-of-a-kind freshly washed, waxed, and scented angel!....and you are my best friend. I've got a lot of best friends, but you are truly amazing. For once I can comfortably say that I am completely happy and always will be with the person my other best friend is dating. You complete him, and you cherish me. You don't take advantage of me. You are absolutely irreplaceable. There isn't much more I can even say. I only get to see you maybe once a week...but that once a week is partly the best part. I love you, dearie.
8. Here we are again. Another year gone by....and what do you know? We are STILL working together musically. For some reason that doesn't suprise me....why? Because you are a musical drumming MACHINE. You're JUST starting to unlock the pontential you have inside of you....I'm going to be scared of you when you're 20. You'll be absolutely insane. You're a dick. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. But that's cool...because I know your ways. I love how you test all the girls I see with their sense of humor because you realize that if someone is with me, they HAVE to have a sense of a humor...and a good one too. You still always look out for me, and always ask me if I'm okay...even if sometimes I'm stubborn. You'd be the first one to the hospital if I ever needed you. That's never been a doubt in my mind. I love ya and I hope you do nothing but grow in talent.
9. We've had a lot of talks over the past year. Most of the time you were right about the outcomes, but you understood why I had to take the chances I did. That is all I could really ask for from you. You're someone I could count of with anything, except maybe spending some social time with your friends, and taking a break from the challanges of life. Everyone needs a break sooner or later. Barrel. That's all I even really need to say. You're a HELLACIOUS guitarist. You work your ass off, and it shows unbelievably. You're going to be famous one day, with or without me. People will chant your name. People will want to learn YOUR solos. They already do. We've bonded in the last three years, and we will continue to do so. And remember...no matter what the challanges are...in the great words of Vance Valortoh....Seldom is love not worth it.
10. Darlin, this past year has been a roller coaster for you and I. Things happened that shouldn't have, and things were said that shouldn't be said....but we all make mistakes and say dumb things. You're like my little sister and you always have been. I act all upset when you jump on me to try and wake me up some mornings, but I love it. I love knowing I have a friend that still like to laugh and play and jump on me and make me hide under my blankets like a little kid. You like Incubus, I like Incubus. You like Zelda, I like Zelda. That rocks. You are my little sister, so do me a favor, and take good care of my best friend. He needs you, and he loves you.....oh yeah. You're mom's a bitch too.....but she's still hott. :) Love ya.
11. I really don't know what to say to you. I get a confused feeling when i think about you anymore. I used to think about you and blush because I was so head-over-heels in love with you. Not anymore. I've changed. I just didn't need that unwanted feeling, and so I got rid of it. I took it out on you. I shouldn't have, but I did. I neglected your friendship. I still kind of do. It'll go away. I still love being around you, and I still love talking to you. It will just take time for me to consider you someone that I really do need after all. But I'll get there. You're a great friend....whether I tell you enough or not. I love you.
12. You probably won't read this, because you usually don't care about bulletins or blogs or journal entries. But you're the greatest person I know, or anyone knows. You are Vance. You are my bash brother. We love to drink...and we love battle metal. No drama with you...still. You're the best, man. No other way of going about it.
13. I don't have to say much to you, because we've had some good talks in the last week. All I can say, is get your life back together. You're an amazing guy, you're funny, good looking....little short, but hey, it works. Just get your shit together....I have belief in you bubs. I'll help you in any way you need.
14. You are absolutely beautiful...in pretty much every way. I do nothing but smile when i'm around you because you have heart and soul and smiles that brighten everyone else's days. I miss the days we used to hang, but we will get there again. I never, ever want you to feel bad for any reason, and as long as you tell me what's wrong, I promise to always make you smile. You're an amazing person, and I don't care who doesn't see it. I do, and I always will...even if you do have minute eyeballs. Hehe.
15. What happened? Why have you changed so much for the worse? You were amazing to hang out with at one point and time. I want that back, and so does everyone else. Drop the care for a piece of ass. Drop the care to be a cool guy. Drop the care to do anything but yourself. Because that is what we miss. We miss YOU. You get those moments back, but they dissapear with great ease. Just work for it. I love you and can't wait to see YOU again. Not the cool guy.
16. All I can say is....I never should of let you go...I never should of let you slip through my arms...
17. Last but definitly not the least. My bub. My bro. My CHOIRBOY. I don't even know what to say, man. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not wondering what my best friend is up to. I wish you luck in everything you do, with whoever it may be...and hopefully its my angelic client. :). I just don't know what to say other than that you're an incredible friend, and I love you with all of my heart, man. You're the reason I'm here today...you've saved my life on more than one occasion in more than one way.
Peace and Love.