What the hell does "I'm bringing sexy back" mean and why is everyone saying it?
Why does it never stop raining in this god forsaken state? Oh right, I came and brought the sin with me. My total B Jesuits.
In related news, me and the Fordham BFFL hit the Bronx (or BX as the cool, school of hard knocks kids say) scene on Friday. Which basically involved us wandering up and down Arthur Ave while talking about gangs and finally stopping for really good pizza in a den of Bush loving iniquity. I kid you not, they had huge pictures of him on the walls, CREEPY! But the pizza was awesome. And we were propositioned be a very large man in pajama pants and a giant puffy coat. Snorting and giggling into our food probably wasn't the best response but hysterical laughter is how I react to stress and I was kind of afraid he was going to knife us or expose himself. YOU NEVER KNOW IN THE BX! Luckily the BFFL had the same reaction so I wasn't alone in my freakish amusement. Then the BFFL revealed that she has a warrant for her arrest in New Jersey and I realized I had nothing to fear, at least not with this bad ass commuter/criminal at my side.
On Saturday I made a valiant effort to navigate New York's public transportation system only to become severely confused and disoriented a mere ten feet from the campus. Luckily this weird polyamorous family took pity on me, gave me bus tokens and told me what stop to get off at. They have my eternal gratitude. Eventually I made it to Columbia (through the freaking TSUNAMI! The damn thing ate my umbrella!) and Maxine picked me up outside the campus only to be enticed over to Starbucks which she is usually far too cool to visit. Oh man, it had been almost a whole week without it, I was in heaven. Then Maxine took me up to the dorm room of luxury and sin (enormous with a private bathroom? I hate you Maxine) and introduced me to her Indian, Harry Potter porn loving roommate and said smut lover's boyfriend. My people! Then the roommate brought up her ZOMG total cuttie!!!11! of a friend. I later learned that she is like the only straight girl at Barnard. Damn you cruel fate! Anyway, me and Maxine hung out with them for a while, made some beautiful music, watched them venture out into the rainy abyss, decided we were safer where we were and just chilled until I had to head back. I made another stop at Starbucks before I left. I CAN'T HELP IT, I'M WEAK! I managed to do the subway thing all on my own but the bus still mocked me with its lack of clarity and I was forced to ask the driver what stop I should get off. Luckily it turned out that this girl sitting at the front was also from Fordham so we figured it out together. Plus I had a buddy to walk home in the dark with so I was less afraid of being mugged, shot, etc...
Sunday and Monday were mostly devoted to studying, laundry and cursing this stupid "poster putty" crap that sticks to NOTHING and should be burnt. Oh and on Sunday I locked myself out of my room in my pj's when I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. At two in the morning. So then security had to call the ancient key guy to come assist me but he was doddering and bitter so we formed an instant bond. The best part was when he ambled up to my door through a hallway full of cool kids and I was like "YEAH ancient Bob is with me, gangstas 4 life!!!"
Classes went OK today, especially considering I didn't get any coffee till after my last class. Uncool. My math teacher is my new best friend, she kept swearing at the dry erase markers and using examples such as "So in ancient times numbers were things you could count, like pebbles or virgins!" Plus she accepts the fact that all of us are taking the course because we have to and stumbles late into class everyday. Now that's my kind of teacher! Me and the BFFL got dinner at some ridiculously overpriced Italian place but we got a 15 percent discount for being Fordham students, which pleased me. I was not pleased by how wet my feet got in flip flops or the fact that I stepped in Bronx plague water.
Now the roommate is sickly and I fear for my nebulous health and am chugging vitamin C supplements and vitamins. Oh well, nothing a little porn won't fix.
In related news, me and the Fordham BFFL hit the Bronx (or BX as the cool, school of hard knocks kids say) scene on Friday. Which basically involved us wandering up and down Arthur Ave while talking about gangs and finally stopping for really good pizza in a den of Bush loving iniquity. I kid you not, they had huge pictures of him on the walls, CREEPY! But the pizza was awesome. And we were propositioned be a very large man in pajama pants and a giant puffy coat. Snorting and giggling into our food probably wasn't the best response but hysterical laughter is how I react to stress and I was kind of afraid he was going to knife us or expose himself. YOU NEVER KNOW IN THE BX! Luckily the BFFL had the same reaction so I wasn't alone in my freakish amusement. Then the BFFL revealed that she has a warrant for her arrest in New Jersey and I realized I had nothing to fear, at least not with this bad ass commuter/criminal at my side.
On Saturday I made a valiant effort to navigate New York's public transportation system only to become severely confused and disoriented a mere ten feet from the campus. Luckily this weird polyamorous family took pity on me, gave me bus tokens and told me what stop to get off at. They have my eternal gratitude. Eventually I made it to Columbia (through the freaking TSUNAMI! The damn thing ate my umbrella!) and Maxine picked me up outside the campus only to be enticed over to Starbucks which she is usually far too cool to visit. Oh man, it had been almost a whole week without it, I was in heaven. Then Maxine took me up to the dorm room of luxury and sin (enormous with a private bathroom? I hate you Maxine) and introduced me to her Indian, Harry Potter porn loving roommate and said smut lover's boyfriend. My people! Then the roommate brought up her ZOMG total cuttie!!!11! of a friend. I later learned that she is like the only straight girl at Barnard. Damn you cruel fate! Anyway, me and Maxine hung out with them for a while, made some beautiful music, watched them venture out into the rainy abyss, decided we were safer where we were and just chilled until I had to head back. I made another stop at Starbucks before I left. I CAN'T HELP IT, I'M WEAK! I managed to do the subway thing all on my own but the bus still mocked me with its lack of clarity and I was forced to ask the driver what stop I should get off. Luckily it turned out that this girl sitting at the front was also from Fordham so we figured it out together. Plus I had a buddy to walk home in the dark with so I was less afraid of being mugged, shot, etc...
Sunday and Monday were mostly devoted to studying, laundry and cursing this stupid "poster putty" crap that sticks to NOTHING and should be burnt. Oh and on Sunday I locked myself out of my room in my pj's when I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. At two in the morning. So then security had to call the ancient key guy to come assist me but he was doddering and bitter so we formed an instant bond. The best part was when he ambled up to my door through a hallway full of cool kids and I was like "YEAH ancient Bob is with me, gangstas 4 life!!!"
Classes went OK today, especially considering I didn't get any coffee till after my last class. Uncool. My math teacher is my new best friend, she kept swearing at the dry erase markers and using examples such as "So in ancient times numbers were things you could count, like pebbles or virgins!" Plus she accepts the fact that all of us are taking the course because we have to and stumbles late into class everyday. Now that's my kind of teacher! Me and the BFFL got dinner at some ridiculously overpriced Italian place but we got a 15 percent discount for being Fordham students, which pleased me. I was not pleased by how wet my feet got in flip flops or the fact that I stepped in Bronx plague water.
Now the roommate is sickly and I fear for my nebulous health and am chugging vitamin C supplements and vitamins. Oh well, nothing a little porn won't fix.