(no subject)
Woke up this morning to a whatsapp from my sister about a mutual friend we both have. and it was a good conversation (read: no fighting or quarrelling). and i miss my family. i miss my brother, i miss my sister, i miss my mom (we've been playing words with friends and draw something -.- and i regularly lol at her) and i miss my dad.
i feel so sad whenever i think about my family. i know i'm not a good daughter. look at me! what am i doing? not studying. i cant even make my father proud. i'm not getting H1s for all my subjects. i'm lazy. and i feel like i waste so much of his money. i want to go to japan, korea, bangkok, malaysia, and i'm not even studying hard for it. worst of all, i want to go to korea in june. i want so very badly to go. but i also feel so guilty. my father... does he miss my mom? is it hard? how must it feel like? is he lonely? and so i feel guilty. he hardly ever sees my mom and brother anymore. and i'm going back for a month in june/july, but i want to spend a week of that in Korea. even if im in Singapore, i'll hardly be around him, hardly spend that much time with him. i miss my father and i feel so much guilt because he's given up so much for me, done so much for me, and i wont even spend my holidays with him. i want to tell him i'm sorry, sorry and i want to spend more time with him, but at the same time, i want to go out with my friends, i want to have fun with them.
i wish my family was together again. when people hear that we're all in 3 different countries, they all go, whoah! so your family's scattered around! and i laugh and i say, yeah hahaha isn't it cool.
its so very lonely.
i feel so sad whenever i think about my family. i know i'm not a good daughter. look at me! what am i doing? not studying. i cant even make my father proud. i'm not getting H1s for all my subjects. i'm lazy. and i feel like i waste so much of his money. i want to go to japan, korea, bangkok, malaysia, and i'm not even studying hard for it. worst of all, i want to go to korea in june. i want so very badly to go. but i also feel so guilty. my father... does he miss my mom? is it hard? how must it feel like? is he lonely? and so i feel guilty. he hardly ever sees my mom and brother anymore. and i'm going back for a month in june/july, but i want to spend a week of that in Korea. even if im in Singapore, i'll hardly be around him, hardly spend that much time with him. i miss my father and i feel so much guilt because he's given up so much for me, done so much for me, and i wont even spend my holidays with him. i want to tell him i'm sorry, sorry and i want to spend more time with him, but at the same time, i want to go out with my friends, i want to have fun with them.
i wish my family was together again. when people hear that we're all in 3 different countries, they all go, whoah! so your family's scattered around! and i laugh and i say, yeah hahaha isn't it cool.
its so very lonely.