(no subject)
so.
im about to just write.
i guess in some ways im hoping every last one of you will read every word twice.
and in other words i want to end this now.
but ill keep going because i want too.
i just want to talk.
i havent really said anything about anything if youve actually been reading what ive been writing.
it normally has to do with lack of time.
but sometimes i just dont know what im thinking or feeling.
or whats happening or whats going to happen.
i dont notice it in the exact moment.
but for some reason everythings been going, from a visual perspective, the wrong way.
i know that each step is for a reason.
but if we keep taking steps like these.
im goig to fall over.
its one unexpected/unwanted step after the other.
for some reason perry (the ceo) at assosiated supply, has become sceptical about me working there because he thinks i have some sort of plan to bring down the company.
?
because they layed off my mom 2 years ago.
there was a plan here people.
you hired me.
i was supposed to start work a week ago.
and now.
WHAT? I FEEL LIKE YOUR FUCKING RUINING MY LIFE.
i make plans. thats what i do. i plan out money. savings. days. weekends.life plans.
and you suddenly think some 20 year old pregnant girl is going to take down your company.
my fucking god.
oh and desert breeze.
why cant they just call me and say hey. come in for an interview tomorrow. then call me again and say ya start work tomorrow.
because really. i think it would save me from going fucking crazy and crying for weeks straight.
but no.
im just a little green application.
and no one cares.
no one comes into work thinking. wow. i bet apryle is depressed.
and its not there fault, i know this.
i just want something to go right for me.
thats all.
just one thing.
ive had so many things fuck up in the past 5 months. and ive said.. wellits for a reason.. things wil be better. so many times.
i dont even believe it anymore.
i just need some amount of hope.
nothing even has to be perfect.
it just needs to be something.
just give me something.
just.slmf
help me.
i guess.
i got my crib and bassinet yesterday!!!
it finally arrived :)
and some sheets (blue and yellow)
for the bassinet, and pads.
heres the crib. i couldnt find it by its self.
so it looks girly. BUT IT COULD BE BOYIE if it wants to be.
we will know this tuesday!
fuck yes!
the bassinet is just a plain one. im sending it back with my mom and, my mom and grandma are going to decorate it.
<3
the mattress still isnt here.
i guess its going to take the full 7 days.
im about to just write.
i guess in some ways im hoping every last one of you will read every word twice.
and in other words i want to end this now.
but ill keep going because i want too.
i just want to talk.
i havent really said anything about anything if youve actually been reading what ive been writing.
it normally has to do with lack of time.
but sometimes i just dont know what im thinking or feeling.
or whats happening or whats going to happen.
i dont notice it in the exact moment.
but for some reason everythings been going, from a visual perspective, the wrong way.
i know that each step is for a reason.
but if we keep taking steps like these.
im goig to fall over.
its one unexpected/unwanted step after the other.
for some reason perry (the ceo) at assosiated supply, has become sceptical about me working there because he thinks i have some sort of plan to bring down the company.
?
because they layed off my mom 2 years ago.
there was a plan here people.
you hired me.
i was supposed to start work a week ago.
and now.
WHAT? I FEEL LIKE YOUR FUCKING RUINING MY LIFE.
i make plans. thats what i do. i plan out money. savings. days. weekends.life plans.
and you suddenly think some 20 year old pregnant girl is going to take down your company.
my fucking god.
oh and desert breeze.
why cant they just call me and say hey. come in for an interview tomorrow. then call me again and say ya start work tomorrow.
because really. i think it would save me from going fucking crazy and crying for weeks straight.
but no.
im just a little green application.
and no one cares.
no one comes into work thinking. wow. i bet apryle is depressed.
and its not there fault, i know this.
i just want something to go right for me.
thats all.
just one thing.
ive had so many things fuck up in the past 5 months. and ive said.. wellits for a reason.. things wil be better. so many times.
i dont even believe it anymore.
i just need some amount of hope.
nothing even has to be perfect.
it just needs to be something.
just give me something.
just.slmf
help me.
i guess.
i got my crib and bassinet yesterday!!!
it finally arrived :)
and some sheets (blue and yellow)
for the bassinet, and pads.
heres the crib. i couldnt find it by its self.
so it looks girly. BUT IT COULD BE BOYIE if it wants to be.
we will know this tuesday!
fuck yes!
the bassinet is just a plain one. im sending it back with my mom and, my mom and grandma are going to decorate it.
<3
the mattress still isnt here.
i guess its going to take the full 7 days.