The One Where Ryan Hates Brendon's Pussy [oneshot, 4,344 words]
Title: The One Where Ryan Hates Brendon's Pussy
Author: sexontoasties
Pairing(s): Ryan/Brendon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryan's convinced that Brendon loves his pussy more than his own boyfriend.
POV: Third person
Beta: infrontofthesea
Disclaimer: All fake.
A/N: This was inspired by this picture of Brendon holding a kitten. Also, this is what Ricardo looks like.
Brendon’s parents never allowed pets in their house. For one, Mr. Urie was allergic to cats, and Mrs. Urie didn’t want a dog because she didn’t want to clean up the piss when it had an accident. Hamsters and bunnies and any other caged animal were out of the question too because of the smell. So, being said, Brendon’s never had the experience of having a pet of his own.
That’s why when he hears a tiny meow behind the dumpster while taking out the trash at the Smoothie Hut, he practically sprints inside to grab a bowl of water, excitement boiling in his veins because oh my god, a fucking cat, I am taking this home okay fuck everything I am going to have a pet finally!
When he comes back out, he slowly rounds the corner of the dumpster with the bowl of water gently sloshing around in his hands. He squints his eyes when he sees a tiny, balled up furry black thing in the corner, and he sets the bowl of water down.
He doesn’t have much experience with cats, obviously, but he knows about rabies and claws and all of that fun stuff, so he makes sure to move as slowly as he can towards the small creature.
He flinches when the kitten lifts its head and looks straight at him, big blue eyes blinking up curiously. Brendon tilts his head, and the two stare for a few more seconds in silence, sizing each other up.
When the kitten mewls again, tiny and soft, Brendon feels his heart melt a little and he can’t help but reach out a hand and scratch behind the animal’s ear. The kitten leans up into the touch, so Brendon concludes it’s safe to pick it up.
It’s a boy, and it looks like he’s just a bit under three weeks old. He fits in the palm of Brendon’s hand, and when Brendon cups it close to his chest, it burrows into the warmth and starts immediately vibrating with purrs.
His fur is damp and Brendon makes his way back inside, bowl of water forgotten on the ground, and finds a dry towel to wrap the kitten up in. His co-worker Andy - the weird girl who wears stickers on her face - just sort of raises an eyebrow at him.
Brendon shrugs and clutches the kitten a little tighter. “Can we close up early tonight?”
They’re the only two working tonight since it’s Tuesday, and they don’t get very busy during the week. Andy looks around, seeing the vacant area void of customers, and shrugs back.
“I don’t care. But if the boss finds out you better take the blame.”
Brendon grins and nods, already scrambling to take off his apron while the kitten mewls happily in his other hand.
--
When Ryan gets home from work, the first thing he sees when he walks into the apartment is Brendon staring at some sort of animal - who’s sitting on his kitchen counter, mind you - with hearts in his eyes.
Ryan sort of stands there for a moment, watching, before finally clearing his throat.
Brendon turns his head, waves, and then goes back to cooing at the animal.
Ryan sighs and toes his shoes off, making his way over to his boyfriend and the thing that’s currently occupying his attention.
When he gets closer, the small black thing looks up, blinks his large eyes at Ryan, and then promptly hisses.
Ryan jumps back, and Brendon scoops the little kitten up in his arms and makes little shushing noises, nuzzling the cats head and holding him close. Ryan frowns.
“Why is there a cat in my kitchen?”
Brendon grins up at him, and Ryan feels his heart melt just a tiny bit because yeah, Brendon, but then his eyes glance down to the thing in his arms and he frowns again.
Ryan doesn’t like cats. Cats are bitchy and prissy and selfish and they have stupid smelly litter boxes which need cleaned once a week and they have teeth that they aren’t afraid to use and they don’t mind showing you when they’re angry at you.
Dogs at least love you no matter what, damn it. Ryan’s not easily lovable, so dogs are usually his pet of choice.
Brendon holds out the cat and says, “I found him behind the dumpster at work today! Isn’t he just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?!”
Ryan squints at the cat, dangling from Brendon’s hands like Simba in the Lion King, and he reaches out a hand tentatively.
The cat bites him.
“Fuck, ow,” Ryan curses, jerking his hand back and sucking on the wound. Brendon brings the cat back to his chest, where it promptly licks Brendon’s chins and starts purring again happily.
Ryan glares at the thing and crosses his arms. “We are not keeping that thing.”
Brendon glares back. “It’s not a thing, Ryan. It’s a boy and his name is Ricardo.”
Ryan raises an eye brow. “Ricardo? What kind of name is - no, never mind, I don’t care what it’s name is, we’re not keeping it.”
Brendon looks down when the kitten meows, and then he looks back up at Ryan, eyes wide and pleading. Ryan tries to stand his ground, but this is Brendon we’re talking about. Brendon with the thousand watt smile and the deep, chocolate brown eyes that make Ryan feel ten times warmer. Brendon who holds him when he’s upset and leaves him be when he’s angry and laughs at all his lame jokes and puts up with his “I’m Ryan Ross and I hate everything” days.
Ryan sighs, and runs a hand through his hair before saying rather reluctantly, “Alright. Fine. Whatever. We can keep him.”
Brendon beams and sets the kitten back down on the counter, launching himself at Ryan and hugging him tightly. Ryan smiles fondly and buries his nose in Brendon’s hair.
Having a cat won’t be too bad, right?
--
Ryan groans when he hears the alarm going off, and he reaches out a hand to slap at it until it shuts up. He stretches lazily, and then feels a smile work its way onto his face when he feels a warm body burrow against him sleepily.
Brendon lets out a sigh and presses his face against Ryan’s neck, warm and soft. “Morning.”
Ryan presses a kiss to Brendon’s forehead and says, “Hi. Sleep well?”
Brendon grins into Ryan’s skin and nods, tracing his hand lower until it’s grazing the top of Ryan’s pajama pants. Ryan shivers when Brendon bites his collarbone softly.
“Got some time before work?” Brendon whispers, tilting his head up and letting his lips graze Ryan’s cheek, fingers still moving in slow circles around Ryan’s navel. Ryan doesn’t respond, just turns his head and catches Brendon’s lips with his own.
Brendon hums happily and shifts so he’s laying on top of Ryan, thighs locked around his waist and back arched to lick deeper into Ryan’s mouth. Ryan fists his hand in Brendon’s hair, and uses his other to palm hungrily at Brendon’s ass.
“I love morning sex,” Ryan mumbles into Brendon’s mouth, reaching out a hand to grab the lube from the bedside table.
He almost screams when his hand grabs something furry and warm instead.
Brendon looks up when he feels Ryan jump and his eyes widen, “Ricardo! He’s probably hungry, oh my god I haven’t fed him since yesterday! Do we have any cat food Ryan?”
Ryan stares as Brendon scrambles off the bed, scooping up the kitten and talking to it in this stupid baby voice as he walks out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.
Ryan looks down at his crotch, sad and neglected and still hard, and he groans and flops back on the bed.
Fucking Ricardo.
--
Two weeks later, Ryan starts to notice that Ricardo is an evil little fucker.
He has this thing he does, okay. When Brendon works late and it’s just him and the cat, the cat is a complete bitch. He’ll scratch Ryan, and hiss at him, and crawl on his chest just to dig his stupid nails in and fucking ouch, that shit hurts.
But when Brendon gets home, he turns into a complete sweet heart. Licking Brendon’s face and purring and nuzzling and being just generally really fucking cute. Ryan’s not fooled though. He knows the real cunning ways of that stupid fucker.
They’re currently curled up on the couch watching MTV, Brendon leaning back against Ryan with Ricardo resting happily on his lap. Ryan runs a hand through Brendon’s hair, and he swears that the cat glares at him. Fuck, can cats even do that?
Ryan ignores the cat in favor of tilting Brendon’s head up and back to kiss him. Brendon hums in surprise, but then moves his lips back, slowly, and Ryan grins into Brendon’s mouth.
Ricardo crawls up to Brendon’s shoulder and rubs against his neck, and Ryan gives the cat a smug look when Brendon brushes Ricardo away in favor of turning around fully in Ryan’s arms so they’re chest to chest. Eventually, Ricardo makes a snuffly noise and hops off the couch, walking away. Ryan sighs, because fucking finally, and then he proceeds to grab Brendon’s ass and roll his hips up in one swift movement.
Brendon bites Ryan’s shoulder through his thin tee shirt and reaches down to palm at his dick through his jeans. Ryan reaches up and pulls Brendon down by the back of his neck, lips connecting hard and probably bruising.
“Pants,” Ryan breathes out, and Brendon nods, reaching down between them and fumbling with his belt. Ryan starts to remove his own shirt, and when he finally gets it over his head, his eyes lock with a pair of round blue ones.
“Fuck,” Ryan gasps, startled. Ricardo is perched on the top of the couch, looming above them, just watching. Ryan looks down and Brendon’s already shimmied out of his jeans and is now working on Ryan’s.
“Um, Brendon,” Ryan starts, glancing at Ricardo, who’s just fucking staring, and god what is with this cat and interrupting them right before sex? “Brendon, can you go like, lock your cat up somewhere? Or something?”
Brendon looks up at Ryan, and then he sees Ricardo perched above him, head cocked to the side. Brendon smiles and reaches up to scratch at the kittens head before going back to trying to tug Ryan out of his jeans. Ryan bats his hands away.
“Brendon,” Ryan hisses, narrowing his eyes. Brendon rolls his eyes.
“Oh, come on. He’s not doing anything. He’s just sitting there.”
Ryan raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “I am not having sex with you while your stupid cat watches us, okay.”
Brendon glares at him and sits back on his heels, knees locked around Ryan’s waist. “He’s not stupid.” To punctuate his point, he reaches over and picks up the kitten, cuddling it to his chest.
Ryan just huffs and wiggles out from under Brendon, buttoning his pants back up and concluding that he’s probably not getting any tonight.
“I’m going to go jerk off, and then I’m going out to have a drink with Spencer,” Ryan says, grabbing his shirt from the floor and tugging it back on. “God, why did you even have to bring that fucking thing home?”
Brendon just buries his head into the kitten’s fur and sinks back into the couch, staying defiantly silent.
Ryan sighs and grabs his keys.
--
“So let me get this straight,” Spencer says, setting his drink down and folding his hands together. “The cat hates you but loves Brendon, and all Brendon cares about is this cat?”
Ryan nods, and Spencer raises and eyebrow.
“So in conclusion, you’re jealous.”
Ryan coughs on his beer and flails a bit before exclaiming, “Jealous? What, no! I’m not jealous of that stupid cat. Why would I be jealous?”
Spencer just gives him this look, and Ryan leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. He’s not fucking jealous. Can people even be jealous of a cat? He’s just mad. This cat is giving him serious blue balls, okay. The only thing Brendon ever pays attention to now a days is Ricardo. Ryan feels like he’s the pet in the relationship, the one that Brendon only goes and pays attention to when he feels like it.
So, okay. Maybe he’s a tiny bit jealous.
Spencer’s lips twitch when he sees the defeated look on Ryan’s face, and Ryan just glares and chugs down the rest of his beer, raising his hand to signal for another.
Spencer takes a careful sip of his own drink and says, “You know, maybe you should tell Brendon this. Express your feelings or whatever. Isn’t that what couples are supposed to do?”
Ryan raises an eyebrow, unamused. “Oh, yeah. What am I supposed to say? ‘Brendon, I’m mad because you’re paying more attention to your cat than to me.’ That definitely doesn’t sound clingy at all.”
Sarcasm drips from his voice, and Spencer rolls his eyes because yeah, his best friend can be really thick sometimes.
“Just, I don’t know, try to deal with it or something?” Spencer offers, downing the rest of his drink. Ryan frowns at him.
“Wow, you have such helpful advice.”
Spencer raises his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t sign up for this job.”
“Obviously,” Ryan mutters, taking another gulp of his drink and trying not to think about how it’s probably going to be either him, or fucking Ricardo.
--
It’s raining, not very hard, but hard enough to make the hair curl at the back of Ryan’s neck as he waves goodbye to Spencer and starts driving home. Ryan takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, damp and curling at the ends, as he pulls up into the driveway.
Brendon’s probably going to make him sleep on the couch tonight, Ryan thinks, after he called his precious kitten stupid. Ryan groans and lets his head fall against the steering wheel, because he really doesn’t want an animal to tear their relationship apart.
Outside, it starts raining even harder, and Ryan decides he should probably make his way inside and face Brendon’s wrath. Better to just get it over with now.
When Ryan walks into the house, instead of getting bitched out by Brendon, the younger boy is curled up on the couch, head buried in his hands and shoulders shaking. Ryan drop his keys and shuts the front door, quickly making his way over to his boyfriend. He forgets all about their previous disagreement, because when Brendon is upset, Ryan’s first priority is to make him feel better.
“Hey,” Ryan says, sitting next to Brendon and rubbing his back in slow circles. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Brendon doesn’t say anything, just wipes his face and scoots away from Ryan before finally looking up, cheeks wet and lip trembling. Ryan tries to hide the hurt in his eyes, but stays respectfully where he is, because if Brendon doesn’t want to be comforted, Ryan will obey his wishes.
“Brendon...” Ryan starts again, voice pleading. “Talk to me, B. What happened?”
Brendon clenches his hands into fists and whispers, “He’s gone.”
Ryan pauses and furrows his eyebrows. “What?”
“He’s gone, Ryan!” Brendon lets out a choked noise and mumbles, “Ricardo’s gone.”
“What... what do you mean?” Ryan asks. Gone? How can a kitten just disappear?
“I... I took a nap after you left. Ricardo was sleeping on my chest, but when I woke up he wasn’t there. And... and I looked everywhere, Ryan!” Brendon goes silent, but then he looks up at Ryan with big, sad eyes and says, “I hope you’re happy. You wanted him gone, and now you got your wish.”
Ryan bites his lip. “He couldn’t have just disappeared, Brendon. Our house isn’t that big, I’m sure he’s - “
“You didn’t close the front door all the way when you left.”
Ryan freezes, his mouth agape, because fuck, of course this is his fault. He’s just really really good at screwing things up, isn’t he? He watches as Brendon curls in on himself again. Sure, the kitten definitely wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but he didn’t realize how much the animal actually meant to Brendon. Brendon found this kitten behind a fucking dumpster, took care of it, and loved it.
Now it’s gone, though. And it’s all Ryan’s fault.
“I’m sorry, Brendon, I...” Ryan says softly, reaching out a hand, pausing, and then retracting it. Brendon doesn’t look like he wants to be touched right now, let alone by the guy who caused his kitten to run out.
Ryan glances out the window and sees the rain pelting the glass, dripping down like tears, and he suddenly feels a twist in his chest as he thinks of a tiny black kitten with piercing blue eyes, huddled up somewhere, shaking, cold, wet, scared.
Sure, he doesn’t like Ricardo, but Brendon does, and if this kitten means this much to him, Ryan’s going to do every fucking thing he can to find this fucker.
He gets up from the couch abruptly, and then walks over to grab his coat from where he threw it over the armchair by the window. Brendon watches him carefully, wiping his cheeks and sniffling quietly.
“What are you doing?” Brendon asks, voice soft and slightly hoarse. He uncurls himself from his balled up position and blinks up at Ryan questioningly. Ryan gives him a small, sad smile as he zips up his jacket.
“I’m not going to just let Ricardo freeze to death out there.”
Brendon bites his lip and walks over to Ryan, eyes twinkling. Ryan reaches up and runs his thumbs under Brendon’s eyes, along his cheeks and down to trace his jaw line. Brendon gets up on his tip toes and plants a quick kiss on Ryan’s lips.
“Want me to come with you?”
Ryan shakes his head as he runs his fingers along Brendon’s damp shirt. “You’ve already done your share of looking. You’ll get sick if you go out in the rain again.”
Brendon looks like he wants to protest, but Ryan shushes him and says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I’m going to find him, okay?”
Brendon lets out a breath but nods anyways. “Thank you.”
Ryan just smiles determinedly and tugs his hood up, walking out the door.
--
Ryan really, really considers giving up after the first fifteen minutes because god damn, it’s cold out here, but then he pictures Brendon’s heartbroken expression if he walks back inside empty-handed, and that’s enough to keep him going a while longer.
His hood has long since fallen off, and his hair is sticking to his face and water droplets are getting caught in his eyelashes, but he just wipes the water away and continues looking. His shoes are covered in mud and his jeans are chaffing uncomfortably, but it’s for Brendon, he keeps telling himself. I caused this, and I’m going to fix this.
It’s been over half an hour, and he’s just about to give up when all of a sudden he hears a small, desperate little meow from somewhere above him.
He jerks his head up and looks around and his gaze lands on the tall tree in their neighbor’s yard. His eyes scan around when they finally lock with a pair of scared blue eyes amongst the leaves. Ryan heaves out a long, pained sigh.
“How,” Ryan mutters to himself as he rolls up the sleeves of his jacket. “did you even manage to get up here?”
The kitten just mewls pitifully in response and Ryan sighs but makes his way over to the tree. He searches around for something to stand on, but unfortunately there’s nothing helpful in sight, and he knows he needs to get this kitten inside soon before it gets seriously ill.
Ryan takes a deep breath before reaching an arm up to grab at a branch, and then he uses his foot to help hoist himself up until he’s a good few inches off the ground, enough for him to reach up and grab the cat from the branch with his free hand. Unfortunately, he’s not very big on upper body strength so as soon as he has Ricardo in his grasp his fingers on the other branch decide to slip, causing him to fall backwards, crashing into the ground.
Ryan curls both hands around Ricardo protectively as he hits the ground, and luckily he himself doesn’t get hurt. Probably going to be a few bruises in the morning though.
When Ryan unwraps his hands and looks down at the wet kitten, he flinches, expecting to be bitten or scratched or hissed at, because that’s what happened every time he tried to hold Ricardo before.
But to his surprise, the kitten crawls up and clings onto Ryan’s jacket, shaking and scared. Ryan suddenly understands why Brendon was so fond of this thing. It is pretty cute. You know, for a cat who attacked him a mere few days before.
Ryan opens up his jacket and tucks the kitten inside for warmth, making his way back to the house. His back hurts like a motherfucker and his hands are scraped up from the tree, but he can’t keep down the swell of pride with his accomplishment.
When he walks in the door, he sees Brendon pacing around the living room in his pajamas, having gotten out of his damp clothes already. Brendon spins around when he sees Ryan and he breathes out a sigh of relief.
“I was one more second away for going out there my self and fi - “
He’s cut off abruptly when Ryan unzips his wet jacket and pulls out a tiny wet ball of fur. Brendon takes a step closer, and then gasps when the little ball of fur mewls quietly, lifting it’s head and blinking tired blue eyes up at Brendon.
“You found him!” Brendon cries, grabbing Ricardo and letting the kitten cling to his dry tee shirt, trying to get warm. “Where was he?”
“Up in the neighbors tree, a few houses down,” Ryan replies, stripping off his jacket and then his shirt, making a face when water droplets fall all over the carpet. “I’m going to go get some dry clothes on.”
Brendon’s already cooing at Ricardo and making his way to the kitchen to grab a towel and to get a bowl of warm milk for him. Ryan sighs as he makes his way upstairs, and he suddenly wonders if bringing the cat back was such a good idea after all.
After Ryan’s changed into some warm, dry pajamas, he walks back down to the living room and sees Brendon on the couch with Ricardo on his lap, wrapped up in a towel. Brendon’s smiling down at the tiny animal and drying it off gently. Ryan smiles himself, because yeah, the sight is pretty fucking adorable. Brendon with a kitten in his arms kind of makes Ryan’s insides do a weird fluttery thing.
Brendon looks up when Ryan walks into the room, and he pats the space of couch next to him. Ryan complies, coming over and seating himself next to him, and Brendon immediately scoots closer so their thighs are touching. Ryan grins and wraps an arm around Brendon shoulders.
“Thank you, Ryan,” Brendon says quietly, petting Ricardo’s head as it peeks out from the towel curiously. “Just... I know you don’t like him very much, so, this was really nice of you.”
Ryan shrugs and says, “Well, if the little fucker makes you happy then he makes me happy.”
Brendon grins and looks up at Ryan so their noses are touches. “You make me happy, Ryan Ross.”
Ryan smiles and tilts his head, pressing his lips to Brendon’s. He moves his mouth slowly, languidly, and just as he’s really getting into it his he feels something furry rubbing against his chin. He pulls back from the kiss and looks down, seeing Ricardo standing on his lap, front paws pressed to his chest, staring up at him innocently.
Brendon giggles and tosses the towel over to the side. “Looks like Ricardo has a new favorite.”
Ryan tries to hide his smile as the kitten kneads his thighs with it’s paws before curling up in his lap, purring loudly. Ryan runs his hand over the soft fur and looks at the kitten fondly. “Who knew all I had to do was save his life to earn his love?”
Brendon laughs and curls in closer to Ryan, bringing his legs up on the couch and grabbing the remote. He turns on the Discovery Channel, and then settles back down next to Ryan, tucked into the older boy’s side.
“You know,” Brendon says, voice soft. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t know many guys who would go out in the rain for over half an hour trying to find something they don’t even like.”
Ryan smiles fondly and squeezes Brendon’s shoulder, kissing the top of his head and using his free hand to stroke Ricardo’s back. “Well, he’s not too bad. Besides, I did it because I know how much this little shit means to you,” Ryan teases.
“He’s not a little shit,” Brendon says, pinching Ryan’s thigh. There’s a smile in his voice though, and when he settles back down he mumbles a quiet, “Love you, Ry.”
Ryan feels his stomach flutter again, like it always does when Brendon utters those words, because even though they’ve been dating for over a year, that phrase will never get old.
“I love you too, Bren.” And then, as a quick after thought, he adds, “And I love you too, Ricardo. Even if you are a little shit.”
A few seconds later, Ricardo offers a tiny meow, and Ryan concludes that that’s the kitten’s way of saying “I love you” back.
Author: sexontoasties
Pairing(s): Ryan/Brendon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryan's convinced that Brendon loves his pussy more than his own boyfriend.
POV: Third person
Beta: infrontofthesea
Disclaimer: All fake.
A/N: This was inspired by this picture of Brendon holding a kitten. Also, this is what Ricardo looks like.
Brendon’s parents never allowed pets in their house. For one, Mr. Urie was allergic to cats, and Mrs. Urie didn’t want a dog because she didn’t want to clean up the piss when it had an accident. Hamsters and bunnies and any other caged animal were out of the question too because of the smell. So, being said, Brendon’s never had the experience of having a pet of his own.
That’s why when he hears a tiny meow behind the dumpster while taking out the trash at the Smoothie Hut, he practically sprints inside to grab a bowl of water, excitement boiling in his veins because oh my god, a fucking cat, I am taking this home okay fuck everything I am going to have a pet finally!
When he comes back out, he slowly rounds the corner of the dumpster with the bowl of water gently sloshing around in his hands. He squints his eyes when he sees a tiny, balled up furry black thing in the corner, and he sets the bowl of water down.
He doesn’t have much experience with cats, obviously, but he knows about rabies and claws and all of that fun stuff, so he makes sure to move as slowly as he can towards the small creature.
He flinches when the kitten lifts its head and looks straight at him, big blue eyes blinking up curiously. Brendon tilts his head, and the two stare for a few more seconds in silence, sizing each other up.
When the kitten mewls again, tiny and soft, Brendon feels his heart melt a little and he can’t help but reach out a hand and scratch behind the animal’s ear. The kitten leans up into the touch, so Brendon concludes it’s safe to pick it up.
It’s a boy, and it looks like he’s just a bit under three weeks old. He fits in the palm of Brendon’s hand, and when Brendon cups it close to his chest, it burrows into the warmth and starts immediately vibrating with purrs.
His fur is damp and Brendon makes his way back inside, bowl of water forgotten on the ground, and finds a dry towel to wrap the kitten up in. His co-worker Andy - the weird girl who wears stickers on her face - just sort of raises an eyebrow at him.
Brendon shrugs and clutches the kitten a little tighter. “Can we close up early tonight?”
They’re the only two working tonight since it’s Tuesday, and they don’t get very busy during the week. Andy looks around, seeing the vacant area void of customers, and shrugs back.
“I don’t care. But if the boss finds out you better take the blame.”
Brendon grins and nods, already scrambling to take off his apron while the kitten mewls happily in his other hand.
--
When Ryan gets home from work, the first thing he sees when he walks into the apartment is Brendon staring at some sort of animal - who’s sitting on his kitchen counter, mind you - with hearts in his eyes.
Ryan sort of stands there for a moment, watching, before finally clearing his throat.
Brendon turns his head, waves, and then goes back to cooing at the animal.
Ryan sighs and toes his shoes off, making his way over to his boyfriend and the thing that’s currently occupying his attention.
When he gets closer, the small black thing looks up, blinks his large eyes at Ryan, and then promptly hisses.
Ryan jumps back, and Brendon scoops the little kitten up in his arms and makes little shushing noises, nuzzling the cats head and holding him close. Ryan frowns.
“Why is there a cat in my kitchen?”
Brendon grins up at him, and Ryan feels his heart melt just a tiny bit because yeah, Brendon, but then his eyes glance down to the thing in his arms and he frowns again.
Ryan doesn’t like cats. Cats are bitchy and prissy and selfish and they have stupid smelly litter boxes which need cleaned once a week and they have teeth that they aren’t afraid to use and they don’t mind showing you when they’re angry at you.
Dogs at least love you no matter what, damn it. Ryan’s not easily lovable, so dogs are usually his pet of choice.
Brendon holds out the cat and says, “I found him behind the dumpster at work today! Isn’t he just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?!”
Ryan squints at the cat, dangling from Brendon’s hands like Simba in the Lion King, and he reaches out a hand tentatively.
The cat bites him.
“Fuck, ow,” Ryan curses, jerking his hand back and sucking on the wound. Brendon brings the cat back to his chest, where it promptly licks Brendon’s chins and starts purring again happily.
Ryan glares at the thing and crosses his arms. “We are not keeping that thing.”
Brendon glares back. “It’s not a thing, Ryan. It’s a boy and his name is Ricardo.”
Ryan raises an eye brow. “Ricardo? What kind of name is - no, never mind, I don’t care what it’s name is, we’re not keeping it.”
Brendon looks down when the kitten meows, and then he looks back up at Ryan, eyes wide and pleading. Ryan tries to stand his ground, but this is Brendon we’re talking about. Brendon with the thousand watt smile and the deep, chocolate brown eyes that make Ryan feel ten times warmer. Brendon who holds him when he’s upset and leaves him be when he’s angry and laughs at all his lame jokes and puts up with his “I’m Ryan Ross and I hate everything” days.
Ryan sighs, and runs a hand through his hair before saying rather reluctantly, “Alright. Fine. Whatever. We can keep him.”
Brendon beams and sets the kitten back down on the counter, launching himself at Ryan and hugging him tightly. Ryan smiles fondly and buries his nose in Brendon’s hair.
Having a cat won’t be too bad, right?
--
Ryan groans when he hears the alarm going off, and he reaches out a hand to slap at it until it shuts up. He stretches lazily, and then feels a smile work its way onto his face when he feels a warm body burrow against him sleepily.
Brendon lets out a sigh and presses his face against Ryan’s neck, warm and soft. “Morning.”
Ryan presses a kiss to Brendon’s forehead and says, “Hi. Sleep well?”
Brendon grins into Ryan’s skin and nods, tracing his hand lower until it’s grazing the top of Ryan’s pajama pants. Ryan shivers when Brendon bites his collarbone softly.
“Got some time before work?” Brendon whispers, tilting his head up and letting his lips graze Ryan’s cheek, fingers still moving in slow circles around Ryan’s navel. Ryan doesn’t respond, just turns his head and catches Brendon’s lips with his own.
Brendon hums happily and shifts so he’s laying on top of Ryan, thighs locked around his waist and back arched to lick deeper into Ryan’s mouth. Ryan fists his hand in Brendon’s hair, and uses his other to palm hungrily at Brendon’s ass.
“I love morning sex,” Ryan mumbles into Brendon’s mouth, reaching out a hand to grab the lube from the bedside table.
He almost screams when his hand grabs something furry and warm instead.
Brendon looks up when he feels Ryan jump and his eyes widen, “Ricardo! He’s probably hungry, oh my god I haven’t fed him since yesterday! Do we have any cat food Ryan?”
Ryan stares as Brendon scrambles off the bed, scooping up the kitten and talking to it in this stupid baby voice as he walks out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.
Ryan looks down at his crotch, sad and neglected and still hard, and he groans and flops back on the bed.
Fucking Ricardo.
--
Two weeks later, Ryan starts to notice that Ricardo is an evil little fucker.
He has this thing he does, okay. When Brendon works late and it’s just him and the cat, the cat is a complete bitch. He’ll scratch Ryan, and hiss at him, and crawl on his chest just to dig his stupid nails in and fucking ouch, that shit hurts.
But when Brendon gets home, he turns into a complete sweet heart. Licking Brendon’s face and purring and nuzzling and being just generally really fucking cute. Ryan’s not fooled though. He knows the real cunning ways of that stupid fucker.
They’re currently curled up on the couch watching MTV, Brendon leaning back against Ryan with Ricardo resting happily on his lap. Ryan runs a hand through Brendon’s hair, and he swears that the cat glares at him. Fuck, can cats even do that?
Ryan ignores the cat in favor of tilting Brendon’s head up and back to kiss him. Brendon hums in surprise, but then moves his lips back, slowly, and Ryan grins into Brendon’s mouth.
Ricardo crawls up to Brendon’s shoulder and rubs against his neck, and Ryan gives the cat a smug look when Brendon brushes Ricardo away in favor of turning around fully in Ryan’s arms so they’re chest to chest. Eventually, Ricardo makes a snuffly noise and hops off the couch, walking away. Ryan sighs, because fucking finally, and then he proceeds to grab Brendon’s ass and roll his hips up in one swift movement.
Brendon bites Ryan’s shoulder through his thin tee shirt and reaches down to palm at his dick through his jeans. Ryan reaches up and pulls Brendon down by the back of his neck, lips connecting hard and probably bruising.
“Pants,” Ryan breathes out, and Brendon nods, reaching down between them and fumbling with his belt. Ryan starts to remove his own shirt, and when he finally gets it over his head, his eyes lock with a pair of round blue ones.
“Fuck,” Ryan gasps, startled. Ricardo is perched on the top of the couch, looming above them, just watching. Ryan looks down and Brendon’s already shimmied out of his jeans and is now working on Ryan’s.
“Um, Brendon,” Ryan starts, glancing at Ricardo, who’s just fucking staring, and god what is with this cat and interrupting them right before sex? “Brendon, can you go like, lock your cat up somewhere? Or something?”
Brendon looks up at Ryan, and then he sees Ricardo perched above him, head cocked to the side. Brendon smiles and reaches up to scratch at the kittens head before going back to trying to tug Ryan out of his jeans. Ryan bats his hands away.
“Brendon,” Ryan hisses, narrowing his eyes. Brendon rolls his eyes.
“Oh, come on. He’s not doing anything. He’s just sitting there.”
Ryan raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “I am not having sex with you while your stupid cat watches us, okay.”
Brendon glares at him and sits back on his heels, knees locked around Ryan’s waist. “He’s not stupid.” To punctuate his point, he reaches over and picks up the kitten, cuddling it to his chest.
Ryan just huffs and wiggles out from under Brendon, buttoning his pants back up and concluding that he’s probably not getting any tonight.
“I’m going to go jerk off, and then I’m going out to have a drink with Spencer,” Ryan says, grabbing his shirt from the floor and tugging it back on. “God, why did you even have to bring that fucking thing home?”
Brendon just buries his head into the kitten’s fur and sinks back into the couch, staying defiantly silent.
Ryan sighs and grabs his keys.
--
“So let me get this straight,” Spencer says, setting his drink down and folding his hands together. “The cat hates you but loves Brendon, and all Brendon cares about is this cat?”
Ryan nods, and Spencer raises and eyebrow.
“So in conclusion, you’re jealous.”
Ryan coughs on his beer and flails a bit before exclaiming, “Jealous? What, no! I’m not jealous of that stupid cat. Why would I be jealous?”
Spencer just gives him this look, and Ryan leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. He’s not fucking jealous. Can people even be jealous of a cat? He’s just mad. This cat is giving him serious blue balls, okay. The only thing Brendon ever pays attention to now a days is Ricardo. Ryan feels like he’s the pet in the relationship, the one that Brendon only goes and pays attention to when he feels like it.
So, okay. Maybe he’s a tiny bit jealous.
Spencer’s lips twitch when he sees the defeated look on Ryan’s face, and Ryan just glares and chugs down the rest of his beer, raising his hand to signal for another.
Spencer takes a careful sip of his own drink and says, “You know, maybe you should tell Brendon this. Express your feelings or whatever. Isn’t that what couples are supposed to do?”
Ryan raises an eyebrow, unamused. “Oh, yeah. What am I supposed to say? ‘Brendon, I’m mad because you’re paying more attention to your cat than to me.’ That definitely doesn’t sound clingy at all.”
Sarcasm drips from his voice, and Spencer rolls his eyes because yeah, his best friend can be really thick sometimes.
“Just, I don’t know, try to deal with it or something?” Spencer offers, downing the rest of his drink. Ryan frowns at him.
“Wow, you have such helpful advice.”
Spencer raises his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t sign up for this job.”
“Obviously,” Ryan mutters, taking another gulp of his drink and trying not to think about how it’s probably going to be either him, or fucking Ricardo.
--
It’s raining, not very hard, but hard enough to make the hair curl at the back of Ryan’s neck as he waves goodbye to Spencer and starts driving home. Ryan takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, damp and curling at the ends, as he pulls up into the driveway.
Brendon’s probably going to make him sleep on the couch tonight, Ryan thinks, after he called his precious kitten stupid. Ryan groans and lets his head fall against the steering wheel, because he really doesn’t want an animal to tear their relationship apart.
Outside, it starts raining even harder, and Ryan decides he should probably make his way inside and face Brendon’s wrath. Better to just get it over with now.
When Ryan walks into the house, instead of getting bitched out by Brendon, the younger boy is curled up on the couch, head buried in his hands and shoulders shaking. Ryan drop his keys and shuts the front door, quickly making his way over to his boyfriend. He forgets all about their previous disagreement, because when Brendon is upset, Ryan’s first priority is to make him feel better.
“Hey,” Ryan says, sitting next to Brendon and rubbing his back in slow circles. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Brendon doesn’t say anything, just wipes his face and scoots away from Ryan before finally looking up, cheeks wet and lip trembling. Ryan tries to hide the hurt in his eyes, but stays respectfully where he is, because if Brendon doesn’t want to be comforted, Ryan will obey his wishes.
“Brendon...” Ryan starts again, voice pleading. “Talk to me, B. What happened?”
Brendon clenches his hands into fists and whispers, “He’s gone.”
Ryan pauses and furrows his eyebrows. “What?”
“He’s gone, Ryan!” Brendon lets out a choked noise and mumbles, “Ricardo’s gone.”
“What... what do you mean?” Ryan asks. Gone? How can a kitten just disappear?
“I... I took a nap after you left. Ricardo was sleeping on my chest, but when I woke up he wasn’t there. And... and I looked everywhere, Ryan!” Brendon goes silent, but then he looks up at Ryan with big, sad eyes and says, “I hope you’re happy. You wanted him gone, and now you got your wish.”
Ryan bites his lip. “He couldn’t have just disappeared, Brendon. Our house isn’t that big, I’m sure he’s - “
“You didn’t close the front door all the way when you left.”
Ryan freezes, his mouth agape, because fuck, of course this is his fault. He’s just really really good at screwing things up, isn’t he? He watches as Brendon curls in on himself again. Sure, the kitten definitely wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but he didn’t realize how much the animal actually meant to Brendon. Brendon found this kitten behind a fucking dumpster, took care of it, and loved it.
Now it’s gone, though. And it’s all Ryan’s fault.
“I’m sorry, Brendon, I...” Ryan says softly, reaching out a hand, pausing, and then retracting it. Brendon doesn’t look like he wants to be touched right now, let alone by the guy who caused his kitten to run out.
Ryan glances out the window and sees the rain pelting the glass, dripping down like tears, and he suddenly feels a twist in his chest as he thinks of a tiny black kitten with piercing blue eyes, huddled up somewhere, shaking, cold, wet, scared.
Sure, he doesn’t like Ricardo, but Brendon does, and if this kitten means this much to him, Ryan’s going to do every fucking thing he can to find this fucker.
He gets up from the couch abruptly, and then walks over to grab his coat from where he threw it over the armchair by the window. Brendon watches him carefully, wiping his cheeks and sniffling quietly.
“What are you doing?” Brendon asks, voice soft and slightly hoarse. He uncurls himself from his balled up position and blinks up at Ryan questioningly. Ryan gives him a small, sad smile as he zips up his jacket.
“I’m not going to just let Ricardo freeze to death out there.”
Brendon bites his lip and walks over to Ryan, eyes twinkling. Ryan reaches up and runs his thumbs under Brendon’s eyes, along his cheeks and down to trace his jaw line. Brendon gets up on his tip toes and plants a quick kiss on Ryan’s lips.
“Want me to come with you?”
Ryan shakes his head as he runs his fingers along Brendon’s damp shirt. “You’ve already done your share of looking. You’ll get sick if you go out in the rain again.”
Brendon looks like he wants to protest, but Ryan shushes him and says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I’m going to find him, okay?”
Brendon lets out a breath but nods anyways. “Thank you.”
Ryan just smiles determinedly and tugs his hood up, walking out the door.
--
Ryan really, really considers giving up after the first fifteen minutes because god damn, it’s cold out here, but then he pictures Brendon’s heartbroken expression if he walks back inside empty-handed, and that’s enough to keep him going a while longer.
His hood has long since fallen off, and his hair is sticking to his face and water droplets are getting caught in his eyelashes, but he just wipes the water away and continues looking. His shoes are covered in mud and his jeans are chaffing uncomfortably, but it’s for Brendon, he keeps telling himself. I caused this, and I’m going to fix this.
It’s been over half an hour, and he’s just about to give up when all of a sudden he hears a small, desperate little meow from somewhere above him.
He jerks his head up and looks around and his gaze lands on the tall tree in their neighbor’s yard. His eyes scan around when they finally lock with a pair of scared blue eyes amongst the leaves. Ryan heaves out a long, pained sigh.
“How,” Ryan mutters to himself as he rolls up the sleeves of his jacket. “did you even manage to get up here?”
The kitten just mewls pitifully in response and Ryan sighs but makes his way over to the tree. He searches around for something to stand on, but unfortunately there’s nothing helpful in sight, and he knows he needs to get this kitten inside soon before it gets seriously ill.
Ryan takes a deep breath before reaching an arm up to grab at a branch, and then he uses his foot to help hoist himself up until he’s a good few inches off the ground, enough for him to reach up and grab the cat from the branch with his free hand. Unfortunately, he’s not very big on upper body strength so as soon as he has Ricardo in his grasp his fingers on the other branch decide to slip, causing him to fall backwards, crashing into the ground.
Ryan curls both hands around Ricardo protectively as he hits the ground, and luckily he himself doesn’t get hurt. Probably going to be a few bruises in the morning though.
When Ryan unwraps his hands and looks down at the wet kitten, he flinches, expecting to be bitten or scratched or hissed at, because that’s what happened every time he tried to hold Ricardo before.
But to his surprise, the kitten crawls up and clings onto Ryan’s jacket, shaking and scared. Ryan suddenly understands why Brendon was so fond of this thing. It is pretty cute. You know, for a cat who attacked him a mere few days before.
Ryan opens up his jacket and tucks the kitten inside for warmth, making his way back to the house. His back hurts like a motherfucker and his hands are scraped up from the tree, but he can’t keep down the swell of pride with his accomplishment.
When he walks in the door, he sees Brendon pacing around the living room in his pajamas, having gotten out of his damp clothes already. Brendon spins around when he sees Ryan and he breathes out a sigh of relief.
“I was one more second away for going out there my self and fi - “
He’s cut off abruptly when Ryan unzips his wet jacket and pulls out a tiny wet ball of fur. Brendon takes a step closer, and then gasps when the little ball of fur mewls quietly, lifting it’s head and blinking tired blue eyes up at Brendon.
“You found him!” Brendon cries, grabbing Ricardo and letting the kitten cling to his dry tee shirt, trying to get warm. “Where was he?”
“Up in the neighbors tree, a few houses down,” Ryan replies, stripping off his jacket and then his shirt, making a face when water droplets fall all over the carpet. “I’m going to go get some dry clothes on.”
Brendon’s already cooing at Ricardo and making his way to the kitchen to grab a towel and to get a bowl of warm milk for him. Ryan sighs as he makes his way upstairs, and he suddenly wonders if bringing the cat back was such a good idea after all.
After Ryan’s changed into some warm, dry pajamas, he walks back down to the living room and sees Brendon on the couch with Ricardo on his lap, wrapped up in a towel. Brendon’s smiling down at the tiny animal and drying it off gently. Ryan smiles himself, because yeah, the sight is pretty fucking adorable. Brendon with a kitten in his arms kind of makes Ryan’s insides do a weird fluttery thing.
Brendon looks up when Ryan walks into the room, and he pats the space of couch next to him. Ryan complies, coming over and seating himself next to him, and Brendon immediately scoots closer so their thighs are touching. Ryan grins and wraps an arm around Brendon shoulders.
“Thank you, Ryan,” Brendon says quietly, petting Ricardo’s head as it peeks out from the towel curiously. “Just... I know you don’t like him very much, so, this was really nice of you.”
Ryan shrugs and says, “Well, if the little fucker makes you happy then he makes me happy.”
Brendon grins and looks up at Ryan so their noses are touches. “You make me happy, Ryan Ross.”
Ryan smiles and tilts his head, pressing his lips to Brendon’s. He moves his mouth slowly, languidly, and just as he’s really getting into it his he feels something furry rubbing against his chin. He pulls back from the kiss and looks down, seeing Ricardo standing on his lap, front paws pressed to his chest, staring up at him innocently.
Brendon giggles and tosses the towel over to the side. “Looks like Ricardo has a new favorite.”
Ryan tries to hide his smile as the kitten kneads his thighs with it’s paws before curling up in his lap, purring loudly. Ryan runs his hand over the soft fur and looks at the kitten fondly. “Who knew all I had to do was save his life to earn his love?”
Brendon laughs and curls in closer to Ryan, bringing his legs up on the couch and grabbing the remote. He turns on the Discovery Channel, and then settles back down next to Ryan, tucked into the older boy’s side.
“You know,” Brendon says, voice soft. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t know many guys who would go out in the rain for over half an hour trying to find something they don’t even like.”
Ryan smiles fondly and squeezes Brendon’s shoulder, kissing the top of his head and using his free hand to stroke Ricardo’s back. “Well, he’s not too bad. Besides, I did it because I know how much this little shit means to you,” Ryan teases.
“He’s not a little shit,” Brendon says, pinching Ryan’s thigh. There’s a smile in his voice though, and when he settles back down he mumbles a quiet, “Love you, Ry.”
Ryan feels his stomach flutter again, like it always does when Brendon utters those words, because even though they’ve been dating for over a year, that phrase will never get old.
“I love you too, Bren.” And then, as a quick after thought, he adds, “And I love you too, Ricardo. Even if you are a little shit.”
A few seconds later, Ricardo offers a tiny meow, and Ryan concludes that that’s the kitten’s way of saying “I love you” back.