(no subject)
Well I was going to post about how fucking hard this is and how sad it is buuuuuut I'm so overtired and bipolar about everything these days that I'm allright for right now, unlike I was 5 minutes ago. It's a major bummer to have to watch kat and sara with their respective dans being lovey dovey but that's just life. Sometimes you have to watch people be disgustingly adorable and remind yourself that you went over there for company and you should have expected things to be like that. Ah well at least I've been scoring free meals off couples all week. All this just really makes me want to quit my job so I can have my weekends free all the time. Cuz goin out to every party is awesome, and staying out late and not driving to any parties and drinking large quantities of alcohol equals good times and not always being sure of your ride home is more fun and adventurous. Yep I definitely feel alive on the weekends. So ofcourse weekdays are much more boring which is a major downer. Everybody is connected at the hip to their boyfriends, I'm the odd man out right now. Nobody really knows what I'm going through which is fine and what I expected nobody else has been in a relationship that practically spanned a life time. All the more reason to get out there and figure myself out. I'm tired of being wallflower, but I don't want to lose the vague sense of self that I have. I'm sure I'll figure it out besides maybe its time I became somebody else anyway. I'm tired of being uncomfortable in this body, with this face, and in these circumstances. No more crutches, time to let loose. This lady has got some shit to work on. He tried to IM me today, I didn't answer, it wasn't on purpose I just didn't see it. I guess that's probably a good thing for now. Let the shit roll in, let the shit roll out.