On writing, or really the lack thereof
So I asked the-girl-20 the other day how she experiences writer's block, and she says that it's just a literal inability to get the words down. I'm willing to bet that that's the norm.
For me, I guess it's complicated. In some ways I feel like I'm in a near perpetual state of writer's block because there exist those rare moments when it really just clicks and the words are almost effortless. It all feels like it's flowing straight from my subconscious to the keyboard without any filter in between. I'll clean it up later, of course, but nothing in those moments feels forced or unnatural. Those moments are very, very rare and almost impossible for me to replicate. Whatever I write then, I tend to love.
The rest of the time, I am inclined to dislike my own writing. I can always see the tape holding the edges together, where I found an awkward phrase to string two concepts along or piece together a few fragmented sentences that were missing a cohesive center. A tattered ribbon of an analogy here with no clear direction strung across a paragraph and then repeated later as if that qualifies as a theme. I can see the artifice in my own writing almost obnoxiously clear and the kinds of things I forgive from every other writer always makes me feel like a lazy, sloppy fraud.
It's not so different from editing, where I am never really satisfied with a cut in full, but everything has to wrap at some point. You find yourself accepting that there will be flaws and playing it back for an audience just to see if they see it too. You almost want them to call you on it, to question the timing and rhythm or point to the flawed phrasing right in front of them. Are they just being nice or can they really not see the mistakes?
I do wonder if this is how everyone looks at their own writing the majority of the time.
So really 95% of the time, I have what feels a lot like my own version of writer's block. The worst is when I start a fic and it all feels right and natural but I don't complete it in that rush of inspiration and I really feel like you can tell when the forced writing takes over. So frustrating.
I'm not actually bummed out to the degree this probably suggests. Just frustrated, as I said, and probably to an expected degree.
Anyway, I've been writing stuff. I like about 5% of it. Work has been consuming most of my creative mental energy, so we'll see what happens when I'm on vacation in a week and a half. (Though probably I should spend that time doing a paper edit for the documentary I'm working on. Um.)
But I do have words of:
Finding the right way to bring Ali and Hope together right now, given circumstances, takes some thought.
For me, I guess it's complicated. In some ways I feel like I'm in a near perpetual state of writer's block because there exist those rare moments when it really just clicks and the words are almost effortless. It all feels like it's flowing straight from my subconscious to the keyboard without any filter in between. I'll clean it up later, of course, but nothing in those moments feels forced or unnatural. Those moments are very, very rare and almost impossible for me to replicate. Whatever I write then, I tend to love.
The rest of the time, I am inclined to dislike my own writing. I can always see the tape holding the edges together, where I found an awkward phrase to string two concepts along or piece together a few fragmented sentences that were missing a cohesive center. A tattered ribbon of an analogy here with no clear direction strung across a paragraph and then repeated later as if that qualifies as a theme. I can see the artifice in my own writing almost obnoxiously clear and the kinds of things I forgive from every other writer always makes me feel like a lazy, sloppy fraud.
It's not so different from editing, where I am never really satisfied with a cut in full, but everything has to wrap at some point. You find yourself accepting that there will be flaws and playing it back for an audience just to see if they see it too. You almost want them to call you on it, to question the timing and rhythm or point to the flawed phrasing right in front of them. Are they just being nice or can they really not see the mistakes?
I do wonder if this is how everyone looks at their own writing the majority of the time.
So really 95% of the time, I have what feels a lot like my own version of writer's block. The worst is when I start a fic and it all feels right and natural but I don't complete it in that rush of inspiration and I really feel like you can tell when the forced writing takes over. So frustrating.
I'm not actually bummed out to the degree this probably suggests. Just frustrated, as I said, and probably to an expected degree.
Anyway, I've been writing stuff. I like about 5% of it. Work has been consuming most of my creative mental energy, so we'll see what happens when I'm on vacation in a week and a half. (Though probably I should spend that time doing a paper edit for the documentary I'm working on. Um.)
But I do have words of:
- Diana/Sue semi medieval fantasy Dark Souls AU [close to finished]
- Kristen Stewart/Charlize Theron [kind of close to finished, actually?]
- Lost Girl/Legend of the Seeker Crossover thing. [decent start, but lots left to do and some of it's plotting which ... well.]
- Diana/Sue wingverse AU. [not remotely close to done, but could easily happen with inspiration coming Saturday]
Finding the right way to bring Ali and Hope together right now, given circumstances, takes some thought.