My love-hate relationship with computers
You're so smart, Sandra.
Wow! You know a lot, Sandra.
You're, like, the best conversationalist ever, Sandra.
I hear this from time to time, as have we all. It's great, isn't it? To be complimented on something that comes naturally to you? Whether it be on your skill with cooking, rollerblading or, I don't know, full-contact origami...we all loves us some mad props.
Even when they're undeserved. As they are in my case. (Except for the conversationlist one since I make my own fool self laugh, nevermind others.) I am not "so smart" and I don't know a lot about a lot of things. The list is long: sports, automobiles, the periodic table of elements.
See, it's like this; I can't learn something if it bores me. I just can't. I had this problem in school, which my teachers could never understand. I'd ace tests without hardly studying, but if I had to answer a question in class? Dead silence. (Bueller? Bueller?) All the boring shit I had to know for a grade took off for parts unknown and left my brain clear for the useless info I prefer. Like whether or not a duck's quack echoes, for instance.
Even if it's something I know I should learn, need to learn, a matter of life, sex and death to learn...if it doesn't grab my interest, my brain pulls the plug and what little knowledge I did manage to gain drains all the way back out again. And that's not smart, is it? In fact, it's pretty damn lame.
Take computers. (Please!) I am a staring, gape-mouthed and uncomprehending pile of DUH when it comes to computers, electronics or anything having to do with gadgetry. I hard reboot my p.c. when it doesn't do what I want it to. Like, ALL THE TIME. It gives my programmer husband conniptions.
Pineapple: What are you doing???
Me: It's pissing me off.
Pineapple: NO, WOMAN! STOP!
Me: I HATE THIS THING!
*punches power button*
My satellite radio? I switched it to CD...and forgot how to switch it back. So I ended up just shutting it off and went without music altogether for the rest of my drive. I confused an MPEG with an MP3 the other day, for fuck's sake! It doesn't get any stupider than that, people.
And don't try to teach me anything more complicated than what you'd expect a 7th grader would know. Wait, scratch that. I think it was a 7th grader who sent me the trojan I still can't get rid of. Better make that kindergartner.
Anyway, I'm a hopeless student. You start talking about binaries and trinaries and root kits and soon my face will go blank as I start wondering what the elves are doing this time of year.
You'd all better hope we don't end up in a situation like in the movie Independence Day because if I'm the one you have to depend on? Mankind would end spectacularly. Unless you send me to physically break an alien's mega-destructo computer, I'm confident I could do THAT without even trying. Probably even by accident.
So here's to all my g33ks out there. God knows why you like to hang around me, but I'm glad you do.
*manually deletes files out of Windows directory because I think it's a good idea at the time*
Wow! You know a lot, Sandra.
You're, like, the best conversationalist ever, Sandra.
I hear this from time to time, as have we all. It's great, isn't it? To be complimented on something that comes naturally to you? Whether it be on your skill with cooking, rollerblading or, I don't know, full-contact origami...we all loves us some mad props.
Even when they're undeserved. As they are in my case. (Except for the conversationlist one since I make my own fool self laugh, nevermind others.) I am not "so smart" and I don't know a lot about a lot of things. The list is long: sports, automobiles, the periodic table of elements.
See, it's like this; I can't learn something if it bores me. I just can't. I had this problem in school, which my teachers could never understand. I'd ace tests without hardly studying, but if I had to answer a question in class? Dead silence. (Bueller? Bueller?) All the boring shit I had to know for a grade took off for parts unknown and left my brain clear for the useless info I prefer. Like whether or not a duck's quack echoes, for instance.
Even if it's something I know I should learn, need to learn, a matter of life, sex and death to learn...if it doesn't grab my interest, my brain pulls the plug and what little knowledge I did manage to gain drains all the way back out again. And that's not smart, is it? In fact, it's pretty damn lame.
Take computers. (Please!) I am a staring, gape-mouthed and uncomprehending pile of DUH when it comes to computers, electronics or anything having to do with gadgetry. I hard reboot my p.c. when it doesn't do what I want it to. Like, ALL THE TIME. It gives my programmer husband conniptions.
Pineapple: What are you doing???
Me: It's pissing me off.
Pineapple: NO, WOMAN! STOP!
Me: I HATE THIS THING!
*punches power button*
My satellite radio? I switched it to CD...and forgot how to switch it back. So I ended up just shutting it off and went without music altogether for the rest of my drive. I confused an MPEG with an MP3 the other day, for fuck's sake! It doesn't get any stupider than that, people.
And don't try to teach me anything more complicated than what you'd expect a 7th grader would know. Wait, scratch that. I think it was a 7th grader who sent me the trojan I still can't get rid of. Better make that kindergartner.
Anyway, I'm a hopeless student. You start talking about binaries and trinaries and root kits and soon my face will go blank as I start wondering what the elves are doing this time of year.
You'd all better hope we don't end up in a situation like in the movie Independence Day because if I'm the one you have to depend on? Mankind would end spectacularly. Unless you send me to physically break an alien's mega-destructo computer, I'm confident I could do THAT without even trying. Probably even by accident.
So here's to all my g33ks out there. God knows why you like to hang around me, but I'm glad you do.
*manually deletes files out of Windows directory because I think it's a good idea at the time*