[FIC: Of Beliefs and Faith]
Title: Of Beliefs and Faith
Author: Sexineko
Couple: Jaeho/Yunjae
Rating: PG-13 for language and implications
Genre: Angst
Length: One-shot
Summary: Always keep the faith.
AN: This came about actually while I was listening to Brooke Hogan’s song, About us. Weird. I was going to wait for my muse to log on later and have her read this before I post but I really wanted to post this because I haven’t posted much of anything in awhile. So yeah. I hope you guys like it ^^ even if it does suck T_T
People had this misconception about being famous. It wasn’t all fun and glamour. It was a lie upon a lie. It was pretty little lies that rush past lips, just as fake as that pretty smile upon your face. After awhile, the lies meld together and you forget what truth was once and what was once false. You start forgetting what values you once held dear, and you conform in to the image everyone wanted you to become.
As time goes by, as new people came along with their adoring smiles and please just one picture, you forget the people who stuck by you; the very people who, once upon a time, you would have died for.
People don’t know how suffocating it is; how hard it is to breathe because everyone is surrounding you, wanting, needing, pleading. Everywhere a camera is ready, to capture a moment where the lie fails and the truth shines. Nobody understands how lonely it is because even surrounded by thousands, even millions, of fans; none of them really see you. They see the image you created, the image they fell in love with.
TVXQ Lawsuit against SM splits TVXQ in two…
They’ve been together for so long, being separated, the feeling of alienation, was so wrong, no amount of talking made it right. As a group they were strong but this lawsuit tore them apart, to a point where reconciliation seemed futile.
How could they do this to him? They wouldn’t even be singing if it wasn’t for him.
People thought we didn’t hear what they were whispering behind our backs. Nobody, not even our own band members, no brothers, understood what we were doing this for. Why was it so wrong for us to want equality? What gave them the right to dictate? It was us who stood in the spot light, day in and day out, singing and dancing until we couldn’t feel our bones, where every breath felt like our last.
The lawsuit was tiring and sometimes, only sometimes, I wondered if maybe it was time to just give in but damnit, I was Kim JaeJoong and if there one thing I wasn’t, it was being a quitter. I will fight for what I believe is right. The only thing that made any of this easier was the immense support we felt from our fans.
Junsu and Yoochun at least still had each other. The Yoosu couple was alive and still going strong. The same couldn’t be said for the Yunjae couple though. It was maddening and heart breaking to know Yunjae wasn’t Yunjae anymore. Now it was just Yunho and JaeJoong. They once told each other forever, promised damnit, and yet here I was, alone.
I could take everything I said back, go running back to him but every time I took out my cell phone to call, I would close it just as fast. It was so tempting to coat my words with lies and turn everything the way it was, the way it should be but Yunho deserved more than lies. Their relationship deserved more than that.
In the dark, when the moon was the only witness, tears would fall clear and true. The loneliness would creep and surround his heart, a black veil covering everything, keeping all the emotions in and all the hurt out.
I would dream of warm hugs and coffee kisses. There would be laughter and chaos because chaos was what they knew, because chaos didn’t have rules and you could just be because chaos was chaos.
I would dream of long days but precious nights. The air would be filled with something I just cooked and it would feel like home and when the lights turned off, there would be moans and breathless words whispered and precious nights would become sinful and dark.
I would dream of family. Five strangers becoming one, that’s what they were and its what they should be but they were separated now; torn apart and vulnerable for the world to tear apart.
It was wrong. Wrong. So fucking wrong.
I missed them, so dearly it hurt. My heart was hurting because once upon a time, they all believed in the same thing. They all shared the same dream and promised each other they would do it together. Together they were stronger, and together they would conquer but their beliefs have wandered and their souls were torn. Our five souls that were once upon a time united were now separated. We were lost but I believed we will find our way back. This separation was only a temporary thing. It had to be because as the days went by, it became harder to imagine how Yunho smelled, or hear Changmin’s laugh.
Precious. Precious. Precious.
Faith. He had faith in them. They were TVXQ and they will be once again. He just had to keep the faith. Believe JaeJoong, believe.
Always keep the faith♥
AN: I don’t know what this is. It’s far better than anything I’ve written lately, but its so… everywhere. I hate how it ended because it doesn’t have a definite ending but that’s kind of how dbsg is right now so I guess it makes sense?
Eh. I don’t like this but I’m posting anyway. Lol Comments my darlings~~