Stress, confusion and puffy eyes.

[sexememily]

I've been in kentucky since last friday night. Nothing really special happened, I painted a concrete rooster for my mom. How freakin' exciting am I when painting roosters is worth mentioning? Anyway, before I left Friday my exboyfriend Daniel showed up at my house. He has been sending me text messages and calling me for about a week before that but I wouldn't answer him back. Mostly because I've moved on and I figured the only reason he'd been trying to get up with me is because he busted up w/his girlfriend or something.I was right. We were just sittin there talkin and he said that I looked pissed off or like I was upset and I said yeah because Ryan had said something that upset me the night before which is a whooooole nother story. He kept asking me to tell him what Ryan said to me but I wouldn't tell him because Daniel and I aren't close anymore and it's none of his business. Then he told me that his girlfriend was mad at him (which I had already figured..why else would he be at my house, right?) and telling me they'd been dating for a long time and he kept asking me over and over about Ryan. He asked if I was planning on breaking up with him or taking a break..things like that. Well he left about half an hr later because I was in a hurry to leave (mainly because I didn't want to talk to him anymore.) and I forgot to take my phone charger w/me to ky so my phone went dead. I get home yesterday and charge it up and find that he had sent me a text message and this is what it said "you know you never gave me a chance to date you but if you would have i think we would have been good together." what the crap? we went out twice. he was my boyfriend for like 3 months back in highschool and we dated earlier when we were about 13. We just found that we were better as friends so I don't know why he's claiming that we never 'dated' because i consider someone who is my boyfriend to also be the person i am dating. My mom told me today that she heard at the grocery store where Daniel used to work (man I am totally relying on gossip these days..how sad) that daniels girlfriend had been dating another guy that we used to go to school with and Daniel played baseball with...that's got to suck. To not only lose yur gf but to lose her to that guy...I've never liked the guy myself and maybe now Daniel can see why. I wonder if Daniel knows that that guy only dates girls that are a sure fire lay? Oh well. Honestly, if I wasn't with Ryan and wasn't moving...then i would probably hang out with Daniel again. We had a lot of fun together back in the day and he was always there for me but that's all over now and it would also be different if we had stayed friends throughout his relationship with this girl. He only calls me when they're on the rocks so that tells me that as long as she's in his life then the two of us can't be buddies. Plus I have a boyfriend that I love very much and Ryan is the kind of guy that doesn't mind me hanging with my guy friends but doesn't necessarily trust other guys around me. That's what he says anyway. Says he trusts me he just doesn't trust -the guys-.
Ryan said something on the phone last thursday that really worried me, I mentioned earlier that he upset me. We were talking about...well shit I dont remember what exactly..oh yes I do. I brought up how jealous he got when I was friends with Mark back when I was in college. (I talk about that like it was so long ago when in actuality it was what...a month?) He got so jealous when I would go over to Mark's place to watch a movie and I didn't understand because there is no way in hell i would ever be attracted to Mark, you just have to know they guy. So he asked me how I would feel if he went off to college and made a friend that was a girl and then went to her house to watch movies. I honestly don't know how I would feel about it, I guess I would just have to be in the situation. If she was ugly i wouldnt have a problem w/it haha. But Ryan didn't know Mark so it's understandable that he would be a little jealous. Then Ryan said this: he said that me and him just started out and friends and then feelings developed and we fell in love which is true. THEN it hit me that he might think he could meet another girl and fall in love with her and I busted out cryin. The very thought of him meeting someone else and falling in love with her and loving her the same way he loves me just broke my heart. I don't think he understood why I was crying because later on saturday when we talked he said it was all just a misunderstanding. He said that I'm the only girl he will ever be in love with or ever want to be in love with and I was the girl he wanted to marry. I don't know if I misunderstood him or not or if he realized that he didin't mean what he said or what I'm just glad that that's over and I know for sure that I will definately be watching my back when it comes to him being friends with girls now. I never was worried before but now I'm a little freaked out. I don't think he would ever find someone that loves him the way that I do, that I am very comfortable about but people make mistakes and guys cheat on their girlfriends everday and tell them they love them with all their heart the next minute. I don't really think Ryan would cheat on me. Now i'm just rambling and I need to go shoot myself in the foot or something.

Peanuts.