(no subject)
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in with you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Why the hell do I have to stay awake until 5 am unless I drown myself in a mixture of xanax and alcohol? I look in the mirror, and I see a faded shell of myself staring back at me. In my mind, it isn't me. This person on the other side of the glass moves how I do, brushes his teeth the same way, looks me in the eye just as I do to him. That's where I see the difference, in the eyes. His eyes aren't as sharp as mine once looked. They are darker around the sockets than mine used to be. They don't promise good things like mine used to. I try to turn from him and walk away, but wherever I go, I feel him shadowing my movements, half step behind.
I just wanted to let you know, I'm sorry. I never meant for things to end up the way they have. If I had known that I would smash your soul and your heart, and my own in the years to come, I would have never stepped foot in your room and deflowered you. I was so selfish and ignorant to what I was doing to you, and to myself at the same time. Now I wake up with cuts and bruises, literally, from nothing. Or maybe it's just everything on the inside finding it's way to the outside, too powerful to be held under my skin. At any rate, I pay for this daily, years after all of my transgressions towards you. All I've ever wanted was to be with you, to be happy, and live my life out with you by my side to share all of my experiences and memories with. I fucked up, though, like I usually do with every good thing in my life.
I'm still here, and I'm sorry. I love you. I miss you.
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in with you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Why the hell do I have to stay awake until 5 am unless I drown myself in a mixture of xanax and alcohol? I look in the mirror, and I see a faded shell of myself staring back at me. In my mind, it isn't me. This person on the other side of the glass moves how I do, brushes his teeth the same way, looks me in the eye just as I do to him. That's where I see the difference, in the eyes. His eyes aren't as sharp as mine once looked. They are darker around the sockets than mine used to be. They don't promise good things like mine used to. I try to turn from him and walk away, but wherever I go, I feel him shadowing my movements, half step behind.
I just wanted to let you know, I'm sorry. I never meant for things to end up the way they have. If I had known that I would smash your soul and your heart, and my own in the years to come, I would have never stepped foot in your room and deflowered you. I was so selfish and ignorant to what I was doing to you, and to myself at the same time. Now I wake up with cuts and bruises, literally, from nothing. Or maybe it's just everything on the inside finding it's way to the outside, too powerful to be held under my skin. At any rate, I pay for this daily, years after all of my transgressions towards you. All I've ever wanted was to be with you, to be happy, and live my life out with you by my side to share all of my experiences and memories with. I fucked up, though, like I usually do with every good thing in my life.
I'm still here, and I'm sorry. I love you. I miss you.