On my mind...
The X
Lord knew this one was coming. What can I say? He keeps going in and out of relationships and I'm hoping its because he loves me. But thinking on what he said today about knowing so long ago that we were going to break up is leading me to believe it really really is over. Good God he confuses me! A month ago he was telling me we could very possibly have another chance. But now he looks at me...and I don't see what I thought I used to see in his face. Maybe it's because he is unhappy... Or maybe he *is* happy, apparently I never made him feel that way. I feel horrible for that. Was I just using him then to not have given him what he needed? Or is he telling falsehoods to keep me at a distance? Why would he keep coming to me if he didn't feel something for me... I guess that is what truly confuses me. He could find another girl to go to. LOTS of them, I'm sure. Or maybe not...maybe I'm the only stupid girl who will be intimate with someone who doesn't love them enough to be with them. Maybe I'm the only stupid one who will put false thoughts in my own head just so I can keep something going for as long as possible because I want him.
Everyone keeps telling me that I need to stop torturing myself by reading his journal..am I? It's not like I get hurt by what he says in it...And if I have to get information about him through his journal isn't it evident I'm not a big part of his life? I obviously don't talk to him if I have to fish for information in his journal.
It would be easier to get over him if he hated me, if he didn't talk to me. If he would tell me it will NEVER happen!! I hate feeling that I'm torn into pieces and floating through the air...
I'm hurting... nothing really new there.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Kiss me fool, if you care
If your words have any meaning.
Playing it cool is so unfair
Why this veil of secrecy?
God forbid, your friends found out what we did
Why can't someone like you be someone like me?
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Touch me fool, if your allowed.
I'll be dancing in the corner
It's so cruel to play it proud, take your hands and cover me.
I'm aware that all in love is fair, but that's no reason to make me feel this way.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
And it hurts me so bad to deny it
These feelings are out of control.
Do you know what it's like to want something so bad...
And then having to let it go?
And it hurts me to know that this time in our lives...
So soon will be in the past
And you spend it pretending your playing it cool.
Never knowing,
Never knowing,
Never knowing what,
Never knowing what we should've been.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
You've got me wondering if I'm good enough.
Pretty enough, giving enough, special enough
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Lord knew this one was coming. What can I say? He keeps going in and out of relationships and I'm hoping its because he loves me. But thinking on what he said today about knowing so long ago that we were going to break up is leading me to believe it really really is over. Good God he confuses me! A month ago he was telling me we could very possibly have another chance. But now he looks at me...and I don't see what I thought I used to see in his face. Maybe it's because he is unhappy... Or maybe he *is* happy, apparently I never made him feel that way. I feel horrible for that. Was I just using him then to not have given him what he needed? Or is he telling falsehoods to keep me at a distance? Why would he keep coming to me if he didn't feel something for me... I guess that is what truly confuses me. He could find another girl to go to. LOTS of them, I'm sure. Or maybe not...maybe I'm the only stupid girl who will be intimate with someone who doesn't love them enough to be with them. Maybe I'm the only stupid one who will put false thoughts in my own head just so I can keep something going for as long as possible because I want him.
Everyone keeps telling me that I need to stop torturing myself by reading his journal..am I? It's not like I get hurt by what he says in it...And if I have to get information about him through his journal isn't it evident I'm not a big part of his life? I obviously don't talk to him if I have to fish for information in his journal.
It would be easier to get over him if he hated me, if he didn't talk to me. If he would tell me it will NEVER happen!! I hate feeling that I'm torn into pieces and floating through the air...
I'm hurting... nothing really new there.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Kiss me fool, if you care
If your words have any meaning.
Playing it cool is so unfair
Why this veil of secrecy?
God forbid, your friends found out what we did
Why can't someone like you be someone like me?
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Touch me fool, if your allowed.
I'll be dancing in the corner
It's so cruel to play it proud, take your hands and cover me.
I'm aware that all in love is fair, but that's no reason to make me feel this way.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
And it hurts me so bad to deny it
These feelings are out of control.
Do you know what it's like to want something so bad...
And then having to let it go?
And it hurts me to know that this time in our lives...
So soon will be in the past
And you spend it pretending your playing it cool.
Never knowing,
Never knowing,
Never knowing what,
Never knowing what we should've been.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
You've got me wondering if I'm good enough.
Pretty enough, giving enough, special enough
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?