The Identity Complex of a Poet

[sexbeat_go]

I've only been published in one journal. My poems have been rejected by Poetry and by the Omnidawn Press poetry competition. This shouldn't make me feel like less of a poet, but it does. I've read the Language poets, studied with Charles Bernstein, I know all about "official verse culture" and it's trappings, and yet I can't help feeling like a

Comments

[vidyarajah]

Keep writing. That's all I can really tell you

[sexbeat_go]

With me, it's more a matter of acceptance and recognition by people I see as my peers. These people are ardently anti-academic and doggedly unmainstream (like Charles Bernstein who I have some contact with, K. Silem Mohammad, Ron Silliman, Christian Bok, Bruce Andrews, etc). I mean they think the academy can be used as a tool, but the academy and writing programs as currently composed are anathema to them and they see value in some "mainstream poets" (the eternally controversial John Ashbery, Ann Lauterbach, Muriel Rukeyser for instance), but for the most part are more interested in more avant-garde and experimental and culture-fucking and subversive tendencies. The problem is, they've become so distrustful because of the attacks from the mainstream and academy, from the Right and the Left, it's hard to gain access. They've become protectively insulated I think. The thing is if you can catch their eye or ear, they're incredibly generous. Its just they find themselves on the defensive so often, it's difficult to be open.

[sexbeat_go]

Another thought. ALOT of these people are NY based. And I am in Philadelphia.

[vidyarajah]

Sometimes, in order to be seen as an up-and-coming peer, you really do have to be *seen around

[sexbeat_go]

There's this group called the Philly Sound Poets that try and set some stuff off, and they're sort of seen as young up and comers but the Bob Perelman (who advised my thesis) comment about "all young poets writing the same" referred, I think, in alot of ways to them. And he's right. And they're not very good. And I'm not sure how I feel about being associated with them. And I have a crew of music crazies I run, but the literary scene in Philly can struggle sometimes. There's alot of slam poets and performance poets. There's alot of poetry going on, but everyone sorta looks out for themselves. It's like, if ya get in good with the folks at certain bookstores, like Robin's, it clicks. The things is, since I'm sort of a snotty elitist, I'm often wary of having my name and work associated with some of the people necessary to make those connections. Like this guy CA Conrad, one of the Philly Sound folks. Google his stuff sometime. Some of it is putrid, procedural stuff that I'm just plain suspicious of. I've also had a long conversation

[vidyarajah]

My thinking is...in terms of the networking thing, you have to ally yourself with folks that you can be okay with, *overall*, on a very general level. Matt, were there people I did readings alongside that I was much better than? Sure, definitely! In turn, I was able to share both stages and pages with people who tower over me as a writer...it's like that, it goes both ways. Hell, I fell hopelessly in love with a girl once 'coz she was (is) a better and braver writer than myself--and braver, I mean bolder and more pure and true