i live a very grey, balanced life right now...
i just can't seem to get ahead, every bill i finally pay is replaced by a ticket along the line, and every advance in my fortunes is immediately reducted by some hideous turn in fate.
i literally can't go one day without something nasty and petty happening.... and i just laugh and laugh.
i honestly look at myself and just wonder: why now? why today? why can't i just have a nice dream, followed by a pleasant morning, haven't i done enough for everyone yet?
it's like, i have gone so far above and beyond for one person, and here i am, still set aside for some fucking loser that can't even help her fucking move 20 FUCKING FEET to her new apartment...
who does she spend her time with? who makes her smile when he calls? ah, but who does she go to for help / support / etc?
3 years of nervous stress and breakdowns, debt, heartbreak; all so she can sit there and fucking HATE me for fucking helping her.
yeah, because helping you through bankruptcy, debt, emergency room visits, family trouble, bills, moving multiple times, getting you your lease, stopping suicide attempts, helping your family, your friends, driving you to work, just being there for you wasn't fucking enough was it?
seriously, i have so many friends that lie, cheat, steal, beat, get drugged up and crazy and their fucking relationships just start over; all things forgiven - and all i wanted was a couple months to reevaluate my feelings and i'm like the fucking Job of relationships...
judas fucking priest.
i seriously feel like the mutant offspring of hatred and rainbows here...
fuck everything, just pour out any hope into a black hole and drop a fucking neutrino bomb on it, and yes i am feeling like a fucking SCI-FI epic of angsty backlash here folks...
and meanwhile, fuck the police. you have plenty of time to pull me over for a FUCKING 2 wekk old reg sticker, but the motherfucker who TOTALLED MY CAR two years ago is UN-FUCKING FINDABLE when I gave you the fucking plates....
bite my sack planet earth, gum that fucker.
so....
anyone wanna go drinking anytime soon?
i literally can't go one day without something nasty and petty happening.... and i just laugh and laugh.
i honestly look at myself and just wonder: why now? why today? why can't i just have a nice dream, followed by a pleasant morning, haven't i done enough for everyone yet?
it's like, i have gone so far above and beyond for one person, and here i am, still set aside for some fucking loser that can't even help her fucking move 20 FUCKING FEET to her new apartment...
who does she spend her time with? who makes her smile when he calls? ah, but who does she go to for help / support / etc?
3 years of nervous stress and breakdowns, debt, heartbreak; all so she can sit there and fucking HATE me for fucking helping her.
yeah, because helping you through bankruptcy, debt, emergency room visits, family trouble, bills, moving multiple times, getting you your lease, stopping suicide attempts, helping your family, your friends, driving you to work, just being there for you wasn't fucking enough was it?
seriously, i have so many friends that lie, cheat, steal, beat, get drugged up and crazy and their fucking relationships just start over; all things forgiven - and all i wanted was a couple months to reevaluate my feelings and i'm like the fucking Job of relationships...
judas fucking priest.
i seriously feel like the mutant offspring of hatred and rainbows here...
fuck everything, just pour out any hope into a black hole and drop a fucking neutrino bomb on it, and yes i am feeling like a fucking SCI-FI epic of angsty backlash here folks...
and meanwhile, fuck the police. you have plenty of time to pull me over for a FUCKING 2 wekk old reg sticker, but the motherfucker who TOTALLED MY CAR two years ago is UN-FUCKING FINDABLE when I gave you the fucking plates....
bite my sack planet earth, gum that fucker.
so....
anyone wanna go drinking anytime soon?