(no subject)
ACK. i havent been able to update, i forgot my password and lj was MEAN! never fear, i figured it out and life is good once again!
halloween was great. alexis was a devil and she was so stinking cute. AND GOOD. was one of those nights that i am so glad she's here with me. i wish you all could have seen her. so so so so sweet.
it was good that we were so busy that night. it's now been over 14 years since my dad died. to me that seems so important...i was barely 14 when he died. i never thought i'd make it a month with out him let alone 14 yrs. i still think i did better in the fourteen years he was alive than with out him..but that's life.
breaks my heart to think of missing out on events in alexis' life. i dont have ANYONE watch her, simply because i dont want to miss something important. the few times i have had my moms parents watch her, i race back hoping nothing amazing has happened in her life.
sounds extremely selfish..but that is one of the reasons why i didnt go through with the adoption. *i* WANTED to be the one who was there for all the firsts. i was the one who wanted to pick out the themes for her birthday parties and help with the halloween costumes and the sleep overs and school things. i wanted to be there for it all and i couldnt fathom missing any of it.
on a side note, did i post that judy is pregnant again? *gag*
halloween was great. alexis was a devil and she was so stinking cute. AND GOOD. was one of those nights that i am so glad she's here with me. i wish you all could have seen her. so so so so sweet.
it was good that we were so busy that night. it's now been over 14 years since my dad died. to me that seems so important...i was barely 14 when he died. i never thought i'd make it a month with out him let alone 14 yrs. i still think i did better in the fourteen years he was alive than with out him..but that's life.
breaks my heart to think of missing out on events in alexis' life. i dont have ANYONE watch her, simply because i dont want to miss something important. the few times i have had my moms parents watch her, i race back hoping nothing amazing has happened in her life.
sounds extremely selfish..but that is one of the reasons why i didnt go through with the adoption. *i* WANTED to be the one who was there for all the firsts. i was the one who wanted to pick out the themes for her birthday parties and help with the halloween costumes and the sleep overs and school things. i wanted to be there for it all and i couldnt fathom missing any of it.
on a side note, did i post that judy is pregnant again? *gag*