I must be out of touch...
No, taking away the internet and telephone for the weekend does not, and will not, fix my life. I completely fail to see how losing the telephone and internet will improve my life, or how it directly correlates with my life at all. It only fucks up my long awaited plans. How can I keep my promises to the people that I love if I can't even communicate with them?
I can't.
Thank you for yet again making things worse.
I'm sorry Kelly. For everything, especially things beyond my control. You never have and never will deserve what I've put you through. I'm so sorry.
I had previously typed up some lyrics, but since my computer sucks and decided to restart (subsequently making my dad come down here and check that I was not on the internet...) I'll have to type them up once again. It's a bit long, but..
lyrical composition
Walk on thin ice,
Tread these fine lines,
Los sentimientos que me quitan,
Todo lo que soy,
It's too bad that you have made mistakes,
Too bad that I cannot relate,
When all else fails,
And all else fades,
I kept my word through bitter days,
(through bitter days)
I speak expecting some connection,
While hosting your deception,
Of what will never be,
Well the one part that is missing,
Is the only thing that keeps you listening,
we are not the same,
i am not to blame,
cause you've rearranged the truth,
you just suffocate,
while i medicate,
when i wipe the slate i'm done with you,
never mind,
who's to say?
it's hard to rest when everybody's,
on your case,
on your own,
it's hard to sleep when everything is,
all concern,
who is right?
its hard to breath when this intention,
feels so wrong,
feels so right,
feels so wrong,
never mind,
(never mind)
I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
may a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me
It's like a tidal wave that rose to take the stars
A hurricane that wrapped around my heart
If I could find a way I'd make a brand new start
I can't believe it was the calm that killed the storm
You dont do it on purpose
but you make me shake now I count the hours til you wake
with your babies breath, breathe symphonies,
come on sweet catastrophe.
maybe this time I can follow through,
I can feel complete, stop paying dues.
stop the rain from falling keep my oceans calm
this time I know nothings wrong
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you in my big dreams
Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
I miss you.
and i try but i'm not convincing
your lips, they pout and twist
and i die trying just to keep myself from kissing you.
you take in everything with a certainty i envy
it's somehow all i need
When the sun came up,
We were sleeping in,
Sunk inside our blankets,
Sprawled across the bed,
And we were dreaming,
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in front of us,
There are moments when,
When I know it and
The world revolves around us,
And we're keeping it,
Keep it all going,
This delicate balance,
Vulnerable all knowing,
I'm tired.
Cynical and broken, but wiser.
Heavy with a sense of resentment,
but i used to be so much different,
I used to have so much faith
when I started.
You knew that I always meant it.
I knew I could make a difference,
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all these holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night
So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
I do believe it’s true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Because how I ever got to you I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time.
you will always stay here in my mind. I am
certain of this and I am not certain of anything.
So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down,
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
To when I land to when I leave there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running when all I want is to lay motionless.
This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Don't know where I am, don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
and layed entwined together on a bed of clover
and left there to sleep
left there to dream of their happiness
We need a record of our failures
Yes, we must document our love
I have sat too long in my silence
I have grown too old in my pain
To shed this skin
Be born again
Oh, it starts with an ending
So thank you friends for the time we shared
My love stays with you like sunlight and air
No, I truly wish I could keep hanging around here
My joy is covering me
Soon I will disappear
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
I've been bleeding well from this old wound,
Cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new.
Sometimes eyes turn black, and sometimes scars are tracks.
But everytime you're gone,
I wish that you'd come back.
I was away for a while
But I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
But I don't deserve it
I'll cherish it well if you give me
One of your new starts
Just one more last chance
I swear that I'll earn it
If you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear
I'm better now I swear
In earlier days
They'd persecute people
They'd carry them off
And hobble their legs
For lesser offences
Than how I have harmed you
But still you allow me
To walk free of pain
Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred
So hand me the rocks
To help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound to the
End of an anchor
Thrown in to the sound
And test me to see
If I
Will rise
Against
The worst
That it
Can get.
I wasn't well for a while
I savor the things that I knew
Were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me
That seemed to carry me where I couldn't go
On the strength of my own
But I should've known
That that gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
were spinning on that dizzy edge
i kiss your face and kiss your head
i dreamed of all the different ways
i have to let her know
scream "why are you so far away?"
i said won't you ever know
that i'm in love with you,
that i'm in love with you
And in case you
And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me
You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day
And you sweetly retire as stars chase you away
If only I had more time...
If only I had one wish, I'd want a million trillion lifetimes
that I could spend with you...
Fall in love with you again and again.
And you keep the air in my lungs
Floating along as a melody comes
And my heart beats like timpani drums
Keeping the time while a symphony strums
Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know how much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change or two right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile
Get a little anxious sometimes
You'll be gone and I'll be left behind
Get a little nevous sometimes
It'll be my cue and I'll forget my lines
Get a little lost look and some staring from the corner of my eye
Never really mastered disinterest
You came and cuddled next to me
Our noses brushed so close
I wished it was our souls
Drifting off to sleep
I could hear the little snores you made
watching eyes shut tight
Like doors to something sweeter where you rest
Tear me off a piece of blanket
keep me warm and we can make it
Here's my heart, I'll let you break it
Touched your skin and I can't take it
Light will creep in soon
And I still haven't slept a wink
I wish the sun would hide its head
So I could watch you dream some more
So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night
That's all I can come up with. Sigh. <3
I love you, Kelly.
More than all my words and songs could ever begin to explain to you.
I can't.
Thank you for yet again making things worse.
I'm sorry Kelly. For everything, especially things beyond my control. You never have and never will deserve what I've put you through. I'm so sorry.
I had previously typed up some lyrics, but since my computer sucks and decided to restart (subsequently making my dad come down here and check that I was not on the internet...) I'll have to type them up once again. It's a bit long, but..
lyrical composition
Walk on thin ice,
Tread these fine lines,
Los sentimientos que me quitan,
Todo lo que soy,
It's too bad that you have made mistakes,
Too bad that I cannot relate,
When all else fails,
And all else fades,
I kept my word through bitter days,
(through bitter days)
I speak expecting some connection,
While hosting your deception,
Of what will never be,
Well the one part that is missing,
Is the only thing that keeps you listening,
we are not the same,
i am not to blame,
cause you've rearranged the truth,
you just suffocate,
while i medicate,
when i wipe the slate i'm done with you,
never mind,
who's to say?
it's hard to rest when everybody's,
on your case,
on your own,
it's hard to sleep when everything is,
all concern,
who is right?
its hard to breath when this intention,
feels so wrong,
feels so right,
feels so wrong,
never mind,
(never mind)
I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
may a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me
It's like a tidal wave that rose to take the stars
A hurricane that wrapped around my heart
If I could find a way I'd make a brand new start
I can't believe it was the calm that killed the storm
You dont do it on purpose
but you make me shake now I count the hours til you wake
with your babies breath, breathe symphonies,
come on sweet catastrophe.
maybe this time I can follow through,
I can feel complete, stop paying dues.
stop the rain from falling keep my oceans calm
this time I know nothings wrong
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you in my big dreams
Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
I miss you.
and i try but i'm not convincing
your lips, they pout and twist
and i die trying just to keep myself from kissing you.
you take in everything with a certainty i envy
it's somehow all i need
When the sun came up,
We were sleeping in,
Sunk inside our blankets,
Sprawled across the bed,
And we were dreaming,
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in front of us,
There are moments when,
When I know it and
The world revolves around us,
And we're keeping it,
Keep it all going,
This delicate balance,
Vulnerable all knowing,
I'm tired.
Cynical and broken, but wiser.
Heavy with a sense of resentment,
but i used to be so much different,
I used to have so much faith
when I started.
You knew that I always meant it.
I knew I could make a difference,
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all these holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night
So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
I do believe it’s true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Because how I ever got to you I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time.
you will always stay here in my mind. I am
certain of this and I am not certain of anything.
So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down,
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
To when I land to when I leave there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running when all I want is to lay motionless.
This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Don't know where I am, don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
and layed entwined together on a bed of clover
and left there to sleep
left there to dream of their happiness
We need a record of our failures
Yes, we must document our love
I have sat too long in my silence
I have grown too old in my pain
To shed this skin
Be born again
Oh, it starts with an ending
So thank you friends for the time we shared
My love stays with you like sunlight and air
No, I truly wish I could keep hanging around here
My joy is covering me
Soon I will disappear
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
I've been bleeding well from this old wound,
Cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new.
Sometimes eyes turn black, and sometimes scars are tracks.
But everytime you're gone,
I wish that you'd come back.
I was away for a while
But I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
But I don't deserve it
I'll cherish it well if you give me
One of your new starts
Just one more last chance
I swear that I'll earn it
If you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear
I'm better now I swear
In earlier days
They'd persecute people
They'd carry them off
And hobble their legs
For lesser offences
Than how I have harmed you
But still you allow me
To walk free of pain
Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred
So hand me the rocks
To help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound to the
End of an anchor
Thrown in to the sound
And test me to see
If I
Will rise
Against
The worst
That it
Can get.
I wasn't well for a while
I savor the things that I knew
Were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me
That seemed to carry me where I couldn't go
On the strength of my own
But I should've known
That that gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
were spinning on that dizzy edge
i kiss your face and kiss your head
i dreamed of all the different ways
i have to let her know
scream "why are you so far away?"
i said won't you ever know
that i'm in love with you,
that i'm in love with you
And in case you
And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me
You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day
And you sweetly retire as stars chase you away
If only I had more time...
If only I had one wish, I'd want a million trillion lifetimes
that I could spend with you...
Fall in love with you again and again.
And you keep the air in my lungs
Floating along as a melody comes
And my heart beats like timpani drums
Keeping the time while a symphony strums
Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know how much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change or two right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile
Get a little anxious sometimes
You'll be gone and I'll be left behind
Get a little nevous sometimes
It'll be my cue and I'll forget my lines
Get a little lost look and some staring from the corner of my eye
Never really mastered disinterest
You came and cuddled next to me
Our noses brushed so close
I wished it was our souls
Drifting off to sleep
I could hear the little snores you made
watching eyes shut tight
Like doors to something sweeter where you rest
Tear me off a piece of blanket
keep me warm and we can make it
Here's my heart, I'll let you break it
Touched your skin and I can't take it
Light will creep in soon
And I still haven't slept a wink
I wish the sun would hide its head
So I could watch you dream some more
So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night
That's all I can come up with. Sigh. <3
I love you, Kelly.
More than all my words and songs could ever begin to explain to you.