Crap is crappy

[sew_my_heart]

When David and I decided not to break up at the end of the year I was so excited, I really love David and didn't want it to end just because he was graduating. And now that the time of being apart has come, I'm really stressing out. I haven't seen him in about a month and I'm hating every moment of it. I'm worrying that he doesn't love me anymore, and that he doesn't miss me. When we talk on the phone/IM I feel like we aren't even connected. I feel like he isn't interested in me anymore, that he doesn't want to talk to me. I just hate feeling this way, and I don't know what to do. I keep asking him if he is going to come visit me, but he just says "I don't know, we'll see". I know that he's trying to find a job and stuff, but wouldn't it be smarter to come visit me BEFORE he gets a job, rather than after, when he has to be somewhere from 8-5 everyday and won't have any vacation time? Then I just wonder if I should go visit him, but I wonder if he wants to see me. I hate all of this, and I wonder if it would have been better to just break up, but I know that would have been terrible too. I try to talk about this to him, but he just tells me he does love me, but sometimes it's hard to believe. And I don't know if I'm overreacting, or it the fact that we talk at 12AM and that's kinda a shitty time to talk to someone. And thinking about this keeps me up all night, which I'm sure doesn't help me destress. It's just becoming a mess in my head.

I just don't know what to do.