Title: Are You My Daddy?
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Thankfully for you guys.
Summary: Burke has returned to Seattle Grace after a four year absence. Is there someone he should meet?
A/N: This story is a parody. It's meant to be funny, and hopefully not to hurt anyone's feelings.
Burke walked into the pristine, shiny entrance of Seattle Grace Hospital. Glancing around he noticed that little had changed in the four years he had been away. The same patients sat in the foyer awaiting care; the same doctors bustled to and fro. He saw one of those same doctors as he proceeded down the hall.
“Grey!”
Meredith Grey turned around, eyes wide.
“Doctor Burke…?” She seemed to be at a loss.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in Chicago?”
Burke had moved to take the chief of surgery position at Chicago General four years ago, after a particularly vicious fight with Cristina. And because his hand still hurt.
Burke’s smile grew a little larger.
“Chief Webber called me for a consult, said he needed the best.”
The two surgeons were distracted when a nurse hurried up to Meredith holding a squalling toddler precariously in her grasp. Thrusting the child at Meredith she walked quickly away, ignoring Meredith’s panicked “Hey!”
Examining the child Burke’s smile grew broader.
“Dr. Grey, who might this be?” He examined the little girl, whose curls were sticking up in every direction. Brown eyes wise, she gazed up at him.
Meredith didn’t know how to respond to his question. So she stuttered.
“Uh, well… it’s like this… you see… babies come fro-“ Flummoxed, she decided to quit while she was ahead.
Meanwhile Burke was staring into this little girl’s eyes and recognizing a truth. About himself.
“What’s your name?” The cherub grinned up at him and replied, “Mewcedes Awowa!” Her grin was infectious, even Meredith smiled through her growing panic. Or maybe that was a grimace. Anyways, Burke saw something of himself in this child, whose hair was so like Cristina’s. This, he knew, was why he was back in Seattle Grace. To make things right with Cristina, and get to know his child. His anger with Cristina he repressed, happy to take it out on her later, content to get to know his child first.
“Mercedes,” Burke began, “I have something important to tell you. I’m your daddy.”
“Daddy!” squealed Mercedes, as she launched herself at Burke.
Burke was cuddling his daughter when Meredith emerged from her stupor, saying, “Um, Dr. Burke… well, the thing is, you’ve been gone for a long time, and…”
“Four years,” Burke cut in.
“Right. Four years. And Mercedes Aurora is 3 and a half. And well, the thing is, she’s my daughter.”
“What?” Burke was flabbergasted.
“Mommmmmy!” Howled Mercedes, bored of her new conquest.
Meredith gingerly took her wrathful daughter, careful to avoid flailing limbs.
“But, she has curly hair, and she’s three and a half. How is it possible that I’m not her father? I thought Cristina was in a high profile surgery and had left you to baby-sit her daughter, to whom you are an affectionate aunt?” Burke felt as though he needed to sit down.
Shifting Mercedes on her hip, Meredith tried to explain.
“Hm. Well, you see, it’s a funny story. Derek left right after you did, saying he needed to ‘get his head straight’ and… well… seven months after prom little Mercedes made her way into the world.”
“So … she isn’t my long lost daughter?” Burke was growing distressed.
“Um, Burke, look, I don’t mean to be stereotypical, but she has blond hair. “
Burke looked Mercedes over more carefully.
“Huh. Fancy that.”
While the adults were distracted Mercedes grew tired of their attention.
“Whore!”
Meredith glanced in horror at her daughter, who was grinning at the new word she had learned in the hospital daycare.
“She’s… very advanced.” Meredith thrust her offspring at a passing nurse and made a break for the hospital bar. Burke didn’t remember a hospital bar from his time at Seattle Grace, but he decided that its installation could only be for the best.
As she signaled to the bartender for her regular, Meredith yelled back to Burke, “I’m expecting Derek back any day now, to claim his long lost daughter and reconcile with me, the love of his life, so if you see him will you let him know I’m looking for him?” She turned back to her tequila without waiting for his response.
Burke nodded confirmation to the empty air and turned towards the northwest corridor.
Continuing on his way through the hospital, Burke ran into more familiar faces.
“Bailey!” he enthused enthusiastically. He stooped to hug his former friend, stopping only when he realized that she was carrying a sleeping little boy. From the looks of him he was about four, with dark hair and skin. Grinning, Burke realized that everything would, in fact, turn out ok.
Whispering he gestured towards the little boy.
“I’ll take him. Where’s Cristina?”
Bailey looked at him as if he was a crazy person.
“What on earth are you talking about?” She shifted to put more of her body between him and his sleeping son.
“Well, I’m back after a four year absence. I haven’t spoken to Cristina since I left, and I know how fertile she is. Is she in an important surgery? I’m happy to watch Preston Junior until she gets out and we can argue about how I didn’t know I was a father.” He reached again for the boy in Bailey’s arms.
Bailey pivoted to keep herself out of Burke’s reach. Looking at him strangely she replied, “We never knew why it was you left all those years ago, Dr. Burke. We’ve missed you a lot around the hospital. But this is my son, William. So go away.”
As Bailey backed slowly down the hall, careful to keep an eye on Burke in case he pounced suddenly, he could have sworn he heard her murmur “worse than Grey calling him Will’iam.”
Watching her go Burke reflected that a lot sure had changed since his time at Seattle Grace. Bailey’s son was grown up, Grey was a mother, Shepherd was gone … that last one made him smile.
As he continued on his way to the chief’s office, a young girl stopped him. She was blonde, and looked somewhat familiar.
“Hi.”
Burke reflected that she was refreshingly direct.
“I’m looking for Izzie Stevens.”
Burke looked at her more closely, thrown off by her resemblance to someone he knew. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Haven’t seen her in four years, sorry.” As she turned to walk away he rethought that.
“Wait!” The girl turned.
“Have you seen any children between the ages of three and four?”
She shook her head.
He continued on his way, leaving the girl to find Stevens on her own.
Outside of the chief’s office Burke fortuitously ran into O’Malley. Even more fortuitously, O’Malley had a four-year-old girl by the hand.
Burke could have kicked himself. Of course Cristina would entreat O’Malley to watch their darling angel, no one was more compassionate and caring than his former intern. His eyes took in the dark haired toddler eagerly, noting her dark curls and brown eyes. He couldn’t wait to prove himself as the world’s best father. He would pamper his little princess until she forgot that she hadn’t known her father for the first three years of her life.
He would reconcile with Cristina, honestly, who couldn’t see that one coming? And together they would raise their brilliant daughter to be a surgeon surpassing both her parents. Well, he hoped their daughter was brilliant. What a disappointment that would be, if she was simply average.
Yanking himself from fond thoughts of the future, he addressed his former ‘guy.’
“O’Malley!”
Startled, George stopped playing patty-cake with the child in front of him, and attempted to leap to his feet. Being George, he tripped over himself in his haste, and fell to the floor.
Laughing Burke extended a hand to pick him up, keeping an eye on the cherub in front of him.
“Good to see you O’Malley. It’s been a long time. I’ve got to talk to the chief, and then I was hoping to find Cristina.” Eyeing the small girl he continued, “do you have any idea where I might find her?”
George smiled, happy to help his favorite ex attending.
“She’s in surgery now, sir. I’m just watching Bri for her till she’s done.”
“Bri?” Burke enquired.
“Brianna Devon. I think she and Meredith were in a competition for the trendiest name.” Both men smiled down at Bri, who was playing patty-cake with the railing since her playmate had abandoned her. She didn’t seem to realize that the rail wasn’t playing back.
Burke sighed with happiness and clapped George on the shoulder.
“I’m glad to see you O’Malley. After I talk to the chief I want to hear all about things in your life. It’s been too long.”
Burke headed into Dr. Webber’s office, not realizing that George was motionless, blood draining from his face.
With a start George recollected himself and shot a fearful glance towards Dr. Webber’s office. Since the walls were glass, the chief and Burke saw him and gave him questioning glances. Panicked he grabbed Bri’s hand and walked quickly in the opposite direction, fake smile plastered on his face.
A nurse passing by heard him mutter, “Oh yeah, lets go find your mom. She can deal with this one.”
Emerging from Webber’s office a half an hour later, Burke worked his way towards the surgical wing. Pausing to greet nurses and surgeons alike, he wondered again why he had ever left Seattle Grace.
Cristina stood defiantly, staring him down. “Why don’t you just leave then,” she spat.
“Maybe I will,” Burke replied.
His reminiscences brought him to the nurses’ station, where the vision of Cristina bouncing a baby girl on her knee brought him up short. He paused to admire the image. He couldn’t wait to reunite his family.
He was startled out of his reverie by his beloved’s voice.
“Hi Burke.” She didn’t seem surprised. This surprised him. Why wouldn’t her friends want to preserve the shock of seeing him after all these years?
“Cristina.” He wanted to seem neutral; after all, she had kept the truth of his paternity from him for four years. He was full of rage for her deception, but he was also thrilled to be a father.
“What are you doing here?” She didn’t seem happy to see him. This surprised him.
“I’m here for a consult. The chief asked me. It’s nice to see you too. Who, may I ask, is this?” He pointed to the child in her lap, figuring that they might as well get the anger and recrimination part of the evening over with, so they could make up and look at baby pictures.
Confusion marred Cristina’s beautiful face.
“George said he already introduced you to Brianna.”
“We’ve met, but I have some questions that I think only her mother can answer. Like, for example, why you never told me I was a father.”
At Cristina’s slack jawed expression he felt a stab of triumph, at least until Bri yelled: “Daddy!”
“Hush, sweetie, Mommy and Daddy have to have a little fight now.” Burke shushed his daughter with practiced ease.
But her exclamation was not directed at him, as he realized when she leapt into O’Malley’s arms.
Glaring at the pair of them he launched into a tirade.
“You raised my daughter to call O’Malley ‘Daddy?!’” Cristina had gone too far. It was one thing to not be included in his daughter’s life; it was something completely different for her to think that another man was her father.
“Burke.” Cristina approached him slowly, as if he were a skittish animal. “I didn’t tell you when Brianna was born because … she’s not your daughter. A few months after you left George and I got together. We were married two years ago. He’s Bri’s father.”
Cristina and George watched Burke carefully, hoping he wouldn’t make a scene. He drew a breath, and then took a deeper one, to gain power for his new ‘I am Preston Burke’ speech. This one involved his status as a surgeon of repute and Cristina’s unfaithfulness after he abandoned her.
As he breathed in deeply, inevitably to launch into a speech of some sort, Cristina and George grabbed their daughter (who was sadly only of average intelligence) and darted through a nearby door.
Not noticing their departure, Burke launched into his diatribe. Unfortunately, a young woman passing through the hallway caught the brunt of it. Unfortunately for him, this was Dr. Serenity Starflower Moonshine. Burke didn’t know it, but he was in for a world of hurt.
“Who EXACTLY are you?” demanded the petite blonde, whose emerald eyes were the most stunning Burke had ever seen.
Her beauty left him speechless, he could only stutter: “Bbb..urk..e.”
Satisfied the vision nodded, giving him a saucy smirk.
“I’m Dr. Serenity Starflower Moonshine. I’m a new intern here. My friends and I -“ she gestured to the group of doctors standing behind her, staring in awe at their leader - “were sent here to lead the interns to startling and important realizations about their own humanity and their callings as doctors. Plus I’m Meredith Grey’s sister, and Addison Shepherd’s cousin’s best friend’s boyfriend’s girlfriend’s. So you can’t be mean to Cristina, because I’m teaching her how to care for others, and be more accessible to human emotion.”
Burke really only had one thing to say to this wealth of information.
“Ok.” He was still reeling from the fact that he apparently had no long lost daughter here at Seattle Grace. Why else had he been gone for four years, if not to return to a long lost daughter?
Gladly taking his silence for acquiescence, Dr. Serenity Starflower Moonshine swept off, pack of interns in tow.
As they passed out of sight he heard one of her minions ask Dr. Moonshine if they could watch an episode of House.
Burke sank heavily into a nearby chair, ignoring the glare of the nurse to whom it belonged. He was Preston Burke. He could sit in whichever chair he chose. O’Malley and Cristina were married and had a daughter. A daughter that should by rights have been his. Some strange blonde child was looking for Izzie. Bailey’s boy was growing up. Grey was raising Derek Shepherd’s child on her own. Damn Shepherd, he caught all the breaks. The chief’s protégé, he couldn’t be content with stealing Burke’s place at Seattle Grace, he had to go and have a long lost child too!
He sat, lost in the thought that life was not fair at all, for some time.
After a while he rose, flushed with the idea that perhaps Meredith might need a father figure for Mercedes. Derek was notoriously flaky, after all.