BFS ENTRY: Happy Birthday, Indeed (PG-13; Snape/Lupin)
Title: Happy Birthday, Indeed
Category: Four (31- to 40-years-old)
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Author: midnight_birth
Beta Reader: Pat
Rating: PG-13
(Highlight to View) Warning(s): Slight angst, some rather violent snogging, AU in that Snape and Lupin are alive, and Lupin's involvement with Tonks or conception of Teddy has been disregarded.
Word Count: 2464
Summary: On Snape's 40th birthday and two years since his "death", one of the only people who knows the truth about Snape's survival comes calling with unexpected congratulations, hoping to convince Severus that birthday aren't all that bad and bringing and unexpected present.
Severus settled into his armchair and placed his tea gently beside him on the side table. He never cared for celebrating birthdays, aside from having to growl something akin to thankfulness every year when Dumbledore presented him with ludicrously-coloured socks, and wished he hadn't dreamt about Lily and the first birthday he had celebrated with her to stir the whole matter up in his mind. Lily had been the only one who, upon finding out it was his birthday for the first time, a year before they went off to Hogwarts, showed up to meet him with cupcakes, party hats, candles, and a carefully wrapped gift, and insisted they "celebrate as people ought to". She had asked him, then, if he felt any older, and he had said yes to watch her face light up with satisfaction, but he had always known that birthdays were trivial and celebration of them was downright silly. It didn't take a day to age, the process went on every day, and marking milestones along its path was rather useless on a greater scale of things.
He startled when there was a knock at the door, and instinctively grabbed for his wand. It was true that his house, already in the middle of nowhere, was heavily guarded and protected, and only a select few came to visit and even knew of its existence, but Severus knew that the fear and paranoia of a spy didn't cease with the end of the war. It never quite went away. He didn't have any scheduled visits as far as he could remember, either, so his concern was more than justifiable.
There were another three loud knocks and then the sound of a key in the lock. Severus knew better than to jump, remaining perfectly still with his wand pointed at the door.
"Severus?"
Severus rolled his eyes and scowled as Remus Lupin emerged from the hall, hair dishevelled from the wind and wearing the only coat Severus had ever seen him wear. Many a time Severus felt the urge to find the man a new coat, not out of any sense of kindness or charity, but simply, as he told himself, so he wouldn't have to keep looking at the old ratty thing Remus insisted on wearing all the time. He didn't understand it, and it bothered him. He knew Remus had more than enough money to afford clothing, and while Severus had never been a material man himself, he nonetheless preferred his clothes in an adequate condition for wear, and looking at least mildly presentable.
Remus had been the only visitor, aside from a couple of regular Unspeakable Healers and Kingsley, whom Severus received regularly and at all in the last two years. Severus had his "death" all planned out, but it didn't quite go according to his plan. He had taken the potion, passed on all relevant memories to Harry, and was simply going to vanish the moment the boy had left the Shrieking Shack. Getting away was the only thing he really ever wanted, and he thought he could allow himself that one treat once he had done everything humanly possible to insure Harry's victory. He didn't want a choice between death and fame. He didn't want to be followed by photographers for the rest of his life, or attend ceremonies, or have everyone turn and whisper and revere him from afar wherever he went. He had never asked for a reward for any of his actions, and thought it fair that when it was all over he would claim his own - peace.
Unfortunately, however, the Unspeakables had gotten to him quicker than he had calculated. He had to admit that Kingsley had not questioned him once when he finally came to and requested to be left alone somewhere where nobody would know about it. Severus supposed Kingsley had predicted such a request, as he had not made it known to anyone that Severus was alive aside from the faceless Unspeakables and Remus who, of course, had to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
A warded cottage in the middle of nowhere, far away from any human habitation was provided, and Kingsley had the delightful idea that since Remus happened to be let in on the secret, he would become a liaison between Severus and the wizarding world and Severus and the Ministry. Severus supposed he didn't mind offering his expertise and taking on potion tasks for Kingsley once in a while, but he did very much mind that every time that happened, Remus paid a visit. Remus was also the one who brought the food every week, along with a Daily Prophet and, Severus suspected, spied on Severus to make sure he was well and healthy, both mentally and physically.
His hatred for the werewolf aside, however, Severus did have to eventually admit, even if only to himself, that of all people who could have been chosen for the job, Remus was the lesser evil. He didn't hover, didn't ask millions of questions, didn't act awkwardly, or shower Severus with any kind of newfound respect or gratitude. In fact, it seemed that Remus had sunk right back into their old dynamic - Remus polite and always impartial to Severus's dislike, Severus harsh, impatient and stubborn. Remus had said thank you once, quietly, the first time he had come to the cottage alone. Just the two words, meaning them for everything and everyone, and left it at that.
"We haven't had a scheduled appointment today," Severus barked as Remus sat down onto the couch, comfortable and unapologetic. "And I can't say I appreciate you barging in here like that without any consideration for my privacy."
Remus laughed and gestured to the cup. "Is that tea?"
"Yes."
"Smells wonderful. Sure is cold out there for May."
They stared at each other, Remus completely innocently, Severus wearily and with obvious annoyance. When Remus continued staring at the cup with wistful eyes, however, Severus gave in and waved his wand vaguely in the direction of the kitchen. In a moment, a steaming cup of tea set itself down in front of Remus as Severus crossed his arms on his chest and glared at the other maliciously.
"Back to my privacy, Lupin," Severus said sharply.
"I called your name, and you didn't answer." Remus was still wearing a look of complete innocence, which made Severus only more annoyed and nervous.
"I could have been..." Severus trailed off at the poorly hidden amused expression on Remus's face and then narrowed his eyes. "Grow up, Lupin. I could've hexed you, or I could have been sleeping or brewing. You know better than to just show up unannounced, not to mention use a key and come right in like it's home." When Remus continued to stare down into his cup, Severus added, "Did the Ministry send you? Because today would be one of those days where I'd very much appreciate all of you leaving me alone for once."
Remus nodded slowly, as if thinking hard, and then pointed his wand at the hallway and murmured Accio. A big pink box tied up with a red bow zipped through the room and landed on the table between them. As Severus stared in horror, Remus busied himself with untying the bow and revealing an elaborate birthday cake, with pink and blue roses and chocolate letters proclaiming Harry Birthday, Severus.
"Out." Severus seemed to have finally found his voice when Remus poked his finger into one of the blue roses and then licked it, his expression curious. "Get yourself and... that out of my house."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Relax, Severus. It's your birthday, we remembered, ok? The whole world is celebrating it. Kingsley suggested that I could stop by and check in on you, considering it's a big round date and all."
"Stop by and check in?" Severus was taking deep breaths through his nose, mentally repeating to himself that it would be immature and thus beneath him to push Remus's face into the baked atrocity. "Did he also suggest you bring a box with a bow and a cake, because I gave the man's intelligence a little more credit than that."
Remus looked up at him, frowning. "No, actually, Kingsley said that if I mentioned that it was your birthday and especially that I was dropping in because it was your birthday, he would be keeping a bed open for me at St.Mungo's." He shook his head, suddenly looking affronted. "It's your birthday, it's just me and it's just a cake, so could you say thank you and just eat it, for once? Have a pleasant time, maybe?"
"I was looking forward to having a pleasant time alone, drinking tea and enjoying my chosen and preferred solitude," Severus growled. "Not entertain a bored werewolf who has nothing better to do than make a mockery of himself with a thin excuse to come here." Severus leaned forward, his lips curling in a cruel smile. "Is that it? Had you nowhere else to go? Nowhere else to be when, allegedly, the whole world is celebrating a holiday I've detested my whole life out of respect for me?"
Remus looked offended now, hurt, and Severus felt a sick feeling of satisfaction. If Remus was going to ruin his day, Severus didn't see how it would be unfair if he ruined Remus's. He expected better from Remus by now. He couldn't even understand how Remus could ever convince himself this was a good idea.
"You really think that's true?" Remus mumbled, now looking down at the cake as if it was responsible for all his woes.
"I most certainly do." Severus smirked. "For you to drag yourself all the way out here, go through what you have to go through every time you have to pass all those wards, and bring an obviously last-minute put together cake, and then try to convince me you are here out of your own good will is just an insult to my intelligence. And very pathetic, may I add."
. "It's you, really, who are pathetic, Severus, in that case," he said quietly, and it was evident by Remus's voice that he was putting forth a lot of effort to remain calm and civil, "if you believe with such certainty that the only reason anyone would want to spend time with you is out of lack of better things to do." He looked up with a defiant look on his face. "You very well know today has been named your day, and people do celebrate it rather adamantly. Molly is having a more... sombre gathering of pretty much everyone - all the veterans, the whole family and everyone who knew you. I've been invited, as I am a part of a family now, we all are, but I got a cake and came here instead because I would rather spend today withyou then out there." He sighed. "And those roses were supposed to be red and pink, not pink and toxic blue."
They were staring at each other again, but it was very different than just moments earlier. Remus seemed to have shaken off all his hurt and anger as he spoke, and now challenged Severus with his eyes to dare question the sincerity of his statement. Severus was desperately racking his brain for a sarcastic comment or an insult, but it seemed to him that his brain had been wiped clean as the realization of everything Remus had said slowly sunk in.
And then the moment of blankness was over, and Severus's brain kicked in again, working on overdrive as his puzzle-solving mind started to put things together, pulling out previously seemingly irrelevant moments, phrases, looks... The urge to believe that nobody could ever want to be around him or love him or want him was overpowering and usually dominant in Severus's mind, but not when his mind eliminated ego in order to solve a puzzle. He suddenly realized his throat was dry and reached over for his now cold cup of tea, downing it in one gulp, his eyes never leaving Remus's.
"I don't see how you wanting to be here changes the fact that you're not wanted here," Severus said, and Remus winced as if slapped. But there was something in his voice that Severus could hear was off, that betrayed him, and he knew Remus heard it too.
Suddenly, in one fluid motion, Remus, his tattered coat and all, was off the sofa and on his knees, and then somehow in between Severus's legs. It seemed to Severus that in that moment, neither of them really knew what was going on, or what they were doing, or how they were reacting. Remus was pulling himself up to press their lips together and Severus wasn't stopping him. Somehow, he was allowing the other's chapped lips to caress his, and then kissing back, unsurely, accidentally.
It was five minutes later when Severus finally pulled away, conscious of his mind's lack of reaction and his body's very evident one.
"You have to get out." Severus's voice came out softer than he anticipated it would. "Right now."
"Yeah." Remus nodded eagerly but did not move away, their lips still hovering inches from each other. "Because if I don't..."
"You have to."
"Because if I don't?"
"We both know what's going to happen then, and we both know what that's going to eventually unravel."
Remus's hands were in Severus's hair, holding the other's head tightly. He shook his head. "No. Neither of us knows what that's going to lead to. One of us is sure he's always right but, as it turns out, some things evade even him, so..."
Severus growled quietly and kissed Remus again, this time with a passion, taking control, dominating. When Remus leaned away his lips were bruised, and Severus didn't ask him to leave because he knew full well Remus wouldn't move, and now, Severus wouldn't let him if he tried.
"Happy birthday," Remus murmured before his mouth was attacked again.
To himself, Severus scowled. The stubborn werewolf seemed to have gotten what he wanted, and if he won this one, it would have to mean Severus lost, and Severus didn't take kindly to losing. He swept the box off the table with one of his arms, enjoying the crashing and smushing sound it made as it hit the floor, and pushed Remus back onto the low coffee table roughly. He looked down at Remus, sprawled on the table, gasping, wanting, waiting, and grinned maliciously. This was better. Remus was better than a cake, and was about to prove much more useful.
Happy birthday, Severus, indeed, Severus thought to himself contentedly as he descended on his very unexpectedly appreciated birthday present.