(no subject)
Today was a good day
Nothing especially good happened today
it just was
There's seems to be an invisible line between being happy and being unhappy. I find it so hard to be happy, not because I'm lost, but because it's hard for me to make the switch and put my past behind me. But it's tangible, the mindset is always there, greatly inhibited but never dampened. It feels like all I need is to take a leap of faith to get it rolling
But, somehow, today, I didn't even have to try
There were a few moments where I slipped. I felt as if I had just meditated all day, but the tiniest little mishaps unleashed my anxiety and confusion full force, like it had always been there, just as happines normally feels to be hidden from me. But, I was able to breath and think it out. I know what I need to do, but it's hard to make such a giant transition. But, I'm making slow progress
Need to call those shrink ladies
It felt great to feel like myself. At least, the self that I can start building off of
Good day. Whenever I do meditate, it helps. It brings me back that place, that place where you go playing beautiful music, or when you're walking in the silence of the woods. Just a mindful, peaceful happiness that allows you to live by the moment with all you've got. But, I don't do it enough, and I have to do it for a long time to truly get there. Halfway just isn't enough
But, TIME! God damn you logos. I have so much reading and working out to do and classes to go to that I hardly have enough time for anything else. And I'm not even doing a large portion of it! If I were gung ho I'd have no free time at all!
I'm sore in all the right places (lol)
But, honestly, it's great. Whenever I work my legs, the strained parts, I'm sore but can walk so much easier. I can feel my legs keeping aligned through my strained muscles being awake. But I get too sore to work out 6 days a week. I'm just doing what I can when my muscles need it, and when time allows
I can't wait
I think I'm going to go to bed care free
wake up early
do one workout or the other
and make breakfast and read and catch up on work till class this evening
:)
Nothing especially good happened today
it just was
There's seems to be an invisible line between being happy and being unhappy. I find it so hard to be happy, not because I'm lost, but because it's hard for me to make the switch and put my past behind me. But it's tangible, the mindset is always there, greatly inhibited but never dampened. It feels like all I need is to take a leap of faith to get it rolling
But, somehow, today, I didn't even have to try
There were a few moments where I slipped. I felt as if I had just meditated all day, but the tiniest little mishaps unleashed my anxiety and confusion full force, like it had always been there, just as happines normally feels to be hidden from me. But, I was able to breath and think it out. I know what I need to do, but it's hard to make such a giant transition. But, I'm making slow progress
Need to call those shrink ladies
It felt great to feel like myself. At least, the self that I can start building off of
Good day. Whenever I do meditate, it helps. It brings me back that place, that place where you go playing beautiful music, or when you're walking in the silence of the woods. Just a mindful, peaceful happiness that allows you to live by the moment with all you've got. But, I don't do it enough, and I have to do it for a long time to truly get there. Halfway just isn't enough
But, TIME! God damn you logos. I have so much reading and working out to do and classes to go to that I hardly have enough time for anything else. And I'm not even doing a large portion of it! If I were gung ho I'd have no free time at all!
I'm sore in all the right places (lol)
But, honestly, it's great. Whenever I work my legs, the strained parts, I'm sore but can walk so much easier. I can feel my legs keeping aligned through my strained muscles being awake. But I get too sore to work out 6 days a week. I'm just doing what I can when my muscles need it, and when time allows
I can't wait
I think I'm going to go to bed care free
wake up early
do one workout or the other
and make breakfast and read and catch up on work till class this evening
:)