(no subject)
"the cancer of time is eating us away. our heroes have killed themselves, or are killing themselves. the hero then, is not time, but timelessness...." henry miller.
Lets give up what we know- not to have it taken away but in the sense lets abandon it. there are ashtrays everywhere here but no one is ever smoking. Crossing the international date line can drive you to madness. And there is only one refuge from it- countless others have suggested it. a place called arcadia. Deep inside mountains, hidden in our minds. We can meet. We can write. We can love. I sit at the gates and wait for you. it is lush and green and empty. It is yawning wide, its great teeth ready to swallow us inside- but not like a mouth closer to a fortune cookie and we are the fortun(at)e inside.
there are words that can be strung together and repeated in my ear in a particular order that will unlock the codes of my heart. i sit and wait on them.
on my best day, when all the planets have aligned, i still couldnt come close to touching you.
There’s no other reason to remember this than- no one deserves the title bestfriend if they don’t sound like the cavalries cannons or aren’t willing to bleed next to you."
I kiss your cheek goodbye (you’re not the one leaving). But its only a formality, like crossing yourself before you kneel in church. You are the bright oval light spotted out by the flashlight and I am everything else in the dark room. In the beginning I was only planning on holding on to you and using you recreationally, but then I started needing you at nights and then all the time. The not remembering is what gets to me the worst. Honestly the sex is overrated and the conversation is fucking terrible- so why do you still have me programmed in your phone? I broke out the ougie board and tried to contact the living. I said I need an outline and a diagram but then I can pretty much take it from there. Switch out the characters in this dream cause they just don’t seem realistic. Play the part- change the light cause it makes my skin look washed out. The hardest thing about life is the living part."
"fall away" and it's by lauren hoffman- "I heard the warning of the sun, Remember all the days I strayed, I found you, The moon fell down and made no sound... Where's my mind I lost it too, And you put my love away".
i want a girl that wont laugh at anyone else's jokes.
i want a girl i can love in hour increments.
i want all of my ex loves to love me forever.
i love how i never care about anything you say except how i always do.
that doesn't even make any sense.
late at night everything about you is an orchestra. and i am the conducter.
you are cute but you are disappointing. you make a great picture but only an okay article.
Trying to remember every night is like trying to catch my breath. And the years took their toll but we're still right there. We're bullets in the chamber waiting for the powder and the hammer to kiss. I love the way fall feels in my nose. Oranges and yellows burning leaves and us always trying to make our way upstream. The world has a funny way of playing tricks on us. One day I've got it all figured out and the next it's a mess. Last year we were in the same town but it's all different now, but still the same. we're the local boys from everywhere. It's all about "the catch" versus "the one that got away". We're all trying to write them back into our lives and the hearts that we decorate and send cards out about on the holidays. We're just writing nets and barbs. Something to hold you until we've circled around to make sure no one is watching. It's been awhile but I think your baby boy has still got it. These words are poor substitute for my moods and emotions. I spend nights awake on single words, agonizing cos I don't want to let you down. And I feel like I have anyway. That's why I go away at times. Be alone together. Let's be stolen not borrowed. Forgiven not forgotten. Baby, the best ones are crazy. So cut it loose.
Lets give up what we know- not to have it taken away but in the sense lets abandon it. there are ashtrays everywhere here but no one is ever smoking. Crossing the international date line can drive you to madness. And there is only one refuge from it- countless others have suggested it. a place called arcadia. Deep inside mountains, hidden in our minds. We can meet. We can write. We can love. I sit at the gates and wait for you. it is lush and green and empty. It is yawning wide, its great teeth ready to swallow us inside- but not like a mouth closer to a fortune cookie and we are the fortun(at)e inside.
there are words that can be strung together and repeated in my ear in a particular order that will unlock the codes of my heart. i sit and wait on them.
on my best day, when all the planets have aligned, i still couldnt come close to touching you.
There’s no other reason to remember this than- no one deserves the title bestfriend if they don’t sound like the cavalries cannons or aren’t willing to bleed next to you."
I kiss your cheek goodbye (you’re not the one leaving). But its only a formality, like crossing yourself before you kneel in church. You are the bright oval light spotted out by the flashlight and I am everything else in the dark room. In the beginning I was only planning on holding on to you and using you recreationally, but then I started needing you at nights and then all the time. The not remembering is what gets to me the worst. Honestly the sex is overrated and the conversation is fucking terrible- so why do you still have me programmed in your phone? I broke out the ougie board and tried to contact the living. I said I need an outline and a diagram but then I can pretty much take it from there. Switch out the characters in this dream cause they just don’t seem realistic. Play the part- change the light cause it makes my skin look washed out. The hardest thing about life is the living part."
"fall away" and it's by lauren hoffman- "I heard the warning of the sun, Remember all the days I strayed, I found you, The moon fell down and made no sound... Where's my mind I lost it too, And you put my love away".
i want a girl that wont laugh at anyone else's jokes.
i want a girl i can love in hour increments.
i want all of my ex loves to love me forever.
i love how i never care about anything you say except how i always do.
that doesn't even make any sense.
late at night everything about you is an orchestra. and i am the conducter.
you are cute but you are disappointing. you make a great picture but only an okay article.
Trying to remember every night is like trying to catch my breath. And the years took their toll but we're still right there. We're bullets in the chamber waiting for the powder and the hammer to kiss. I love the way fall feels in my nose. Oranges and yellows burning leaves and us always trying to make our way upstream. The world has a funny way of playing tricks on us. One day I've got it all figured out and the next it's a mess. Last year we were in the same town but it's all different now, but still the same. we're the local boys from everywhere. It's all about "the catch" versus "the one that got away". We're all trying to write them back into our lives and the hearts that we decorate and send cards out about on the holidays. We're just writing nets and barbs. Something to hold you until we've circled around to make sure no one is watching. It's been awhile but I think your baby boy has still got it. These words are poor substitute for my moods and emotions. I spend nights awake on single words, agonizing cos I don't want to let you down. And I feel like I have anyway. That's why I go away at times. Be alone together. Let's be stolen not borrowed. Forgiven not forgotten. Baby, the best ones are crazy. So cut it loose.