You may or may not have heard the memo.
Fat girls don't get nice things. Sad and sorry truth; if you're a girl above a size twelve/fourteen looking for underwear that isn't plain, you're shit out of luck. In fact, unless you're willing to pay out the nose for it, you don't get underwear at all. Bras are horrendously expensive for anyone, but "specialty" bras? Where you've got to go to a boutique instead of target, or trawl the “plus size” section of Myer and get the non-breathing, faux-silk crap that makes you feel awkward and like you're wearing your grandmother's underwear? Yeah, good luck getting one of those for under forty dollars, or feeling comfortable in them. Fat girls don’t need pretty patterns or lace tops or anything but plain black, cream or white. Fat girls don’t have any pride in their bodies! Look at how they got that way, what with their medical conditions or their eating or their depression or their bone degeneration diseases. Shame on them.
So imagine my surprise when I went into Target today (their sizing is ridiculous at the best of times) and found some bras with colour in them? It was like walking into my living room only to find Indiana Jones (or Lucy Lawless, I’m not picky) wearing just his gun, whip and hat sprawled on the couch watching Star Trek reruns. This shit does -not happen-. In fact, I'd given up going into a mainstream store at all and finding something that fits. As a 16 on the bottom and an 18 on the top (damn you breasts, damn you) finding anything that fits is a challenge. The leprechaun at the end of my rainbow kicked over the pot of gold and fucked off to Miami when it comes to finding nice underwear that fits.
So I bought four new bras today for under fifty dollars. They fit pretty damn well, look awesome and two of them are pinstripe. One is red and the other is AQUA pinstripe. And a couple of pink ones because dammit, I can.
Also, I got a haircut today.
Horrible picture, but a picture all the same. I'm gonna grow my hair out so she took in the back but kept the length in the sides. She also did some awesome shit to the top so it won't floof out too much.
So we're sitting there in the hair dressers, and the lights go out. Like, legit, they just go the hell out. Someone farted and the lights exploded. We were sitting there for half an hour in the dark until they pulled out the old clickclack eftpos machine (that everyone hates) and we discovered that it was only the front half of the shopping centre that was in the dark. The rest of it was fine and dandy. WHOOPEE. So exciting. Emily also got a haircut and it looks awesome and I am jealous.
John said something yesterday that's kind of stuck with me. We were joking about humanities students and how the girls get hit on all the time because they're in Humanities, which is right next to Engineering. And I said "Well, that doesn't happen to me, cause of the whole fat thing." John's not a small guy either so we joke about being fat all the time; he was just in a car accident and he's got some body problems of his own, with his arm and stuff. He just looked at me, rolled his eyes and said "That's because they're fucking blind."
John's a nice guy. Says what he thinks, and although I know I have friends who think I'm pretty, it's the first time in a long time someone I don't know very well has come out and said "well, actually, you're wrong." I don't know why but it's stuck with me since yesterday and just. I don't know. It feels strange. I know I'm losing weight, and I don't know what's going on with my brain, but I'm working on getting that fixed, too. I guess it's getting easier to like my body, rather than hate being in it.
Also, my arthritis is fucking me over lately. Both my knees hate me, my medication isn't working properly and delicate lady pains made the last week so much fun. Blargh /whinge
Also, I was at the ATM today, and a girl was standing behind me. An Indian guy with an Aboriginal flag sticker stuck to his face came up and said "Can I cut in here?"
She says no, because she's been in line and the line only just started moving again. I don't know why people take six billion years at the ATM. I think the little buttons confuse them. But the first thing that comes out of his mouth? "That's racist."
I stopped, looked over at him and wrinkled my nose. "What the fuck?" Was the only thing I could come up with. This girl (well woman, but whatever) looked absolutely shocked. He then went onto a spiel about how the Aboriginals were the first ones here (he has a point) and how it's actually a black country, but us whiteys have gone and taken it over (again point) and it was racist not to let him in line. He went on for a bit about the plight of the Aboriginal people and the first thing I could think of was "dude, you're Indian. What."
I don't know if that makes me racist or not, or if it's weird that he thought he was going to get preferential treatment because of the colour of his skin. I mean, I'm mostly white but not exactly, so he wasn't actually speaking to me, but to the woman behind me. It was all very odd.
So imagine my surprise when I went into Target today (their sizing is ridiculous at the best of times) and found some bras with colour in them? It was like walking into my living room only to find Indiana Jones (or Lucy Lawless, I’m not picky) wearing just his gun, whip and hat sprawled on the couch watching Star Trek reruns. This shit does -not happen-. In fact, I'd given up going into a mainstream store at all and finding something that fits. As a 16 on the bottom and an 18 on the top (damn you breasts, damn you) finding anything that fits is a challenge. The leprechaun at the end of my rainbow kicked over the pot of gold and fucked off to Miami when it comes to finding nice underwear that fits.
So I bought four new bras today for under fifty dollars. They fit pretty damn well, look awesome and two of them are pinstripe. One is red and the other is AQUA pinstripe. And a couple of pink ones because dammit, I can.
Also, I got a haircut today.
Horrible picture, but a picture all the same. I'm gonna grow my hair out so she took in the back but kept the length in the sides. She also did some awesome shit to the top so it won't floof out too much.
So we're sitting there in the hair dressers, and the lights go out. Like, legit, they just go the hell out. Someone farted and the lights exploded. We were sitting there for half an hour in the dark until they pulled out the old clickclack eftpos machine (that everyone hates) and we discovered that it was only the front half of the shopping centre that was in the dark. The rest of it was fine and dandy. WHOOPEE. So exciting. Emily also got a haircut and it looks awesome and I am jealous.
John said something yesterday that's kind of stuck with me. We were joking about humanities students and how the girls get hit on all the time because they're in Humanities, which is right next to Engineering. And I said "Well, that doesn't happen to me, cause of the whole fat thing." John's not a small guy either so we joke about being fat all the time; he was just in a car accident and he's got some body problems of his own, with his arm and stuff. He just looked at me, rolled his eyes and said "That's because they're fucking blind."
John's a nice guy. Says what he thinks, and although I know I have friends who think I'm pretty, it's the first time in a long time someone I don't know very well has come out and said "well, actually, you're wrong." I don't know why but it's stuck with me since yesterday and just. I don't know. It feels strange. I know I'm losing weight, and I don't know what's going on with my brain, but I'm working on getting that fixed, too. I guess it's getting easier to like my body, rather than hate being in it.
Also, my arthritis is fucking me over lately. Both my knees hate me, my medication isn't working properly and delicate lady pains made the last week so much fun. Blargh /whinge
Also, I was at the ATM today, and a girl was standing behind me. An Indian guy with an Aboriginal flag sticker stuck to his face came up and said "Can I cut in here?"
She says no, because she's been in line and the line only just started moving again. I don't know why people take six billion years at the ATM. I think the little buttons confuse them. But the first thing that comes out of his mouth? "That's racist."
I stopped, looked over at him and wrinkled my nose. "What the fuck?" Was the only thing I could come up with. This girl (well woman, but whatever) looked absolutely shocked. He then went onto a spiel about how the Aboriginals were the first ones here (he has a point) and how it's actually a black country, but us whiteys have gone and taken it over (again point) and it was racist not to let him in line. He went on for a bit about the plight of the Aboriginal people and the first thing I could think of was "dude, you're Indian. What."
I don't know if that makes me racist or not, or if it's weird that he thought he was going to get preferential treatment because of the colour of his skin. I mean, I'm mostly white but not exactly, so he wasn't actually speaking to me, but to the woman behind me. It was all very odd.