How to negotiate London at weekends (a cut out and keep user-guide)
1) Establish times of replacement buses which are covering for the unseemly number of part-closures we are running this weekend.
2) Get on bus, sit down, gaze out of window.
3) Travel to station where connecting trains are running from, leap off bus.
4) Realise that the trains are not, in fact, running from this station.
5) Stick hands in pockets, whistle and otherwise look as though I meant to do that whilst sauntering back to the bus stop.
6) Wait for the next bus pretending to be oblivious to the malevolent glares of the woman with the buggy who leapt off the bus after me.*
7) Get on the next bus, alight at correct station and eventually turn up to work slightly late.
*Hey, get off my case! Just because I'm in uniform doesn't mean I know what's going on! It's a BUS! My uniform says UNDERGROUND. I didn't say you *had* to follow me. Only follow me when I'm actually driving the vehicle. Not my fault!
2) Get on bus, sit down, gaze out of window.
3) Travel to station where connecting trains are running from, leap off bus.
4) Realise that the trains are not, in fact, running from this station.
5) Stick hands in pockets, whistle and otherwise look as though I meant to do that whilst sauntering back to the bus stop.
6) Wait for the next bus pretending to be oblivious to the malevolent glares of the woman with the buggy who leapt off the bus after me.*
7) Get on the next bus, alight at correct station and eventually turn up to work slightly late.
*Hey, get off my case! Just because I'm in uniform doesn't mean I know what's going on! It's a BUS! My uniform says UNDERGROUND. I didn't say you *had* to follow me. Only follow me when I'm actually driving the vehicle. Not my fault!