Even less fun
giving your completely computer illiterate mother instructions over the phone on how to turn off your computer.
Me: Okay, on the lower left hand side of the screen there's a green button.
Mom: There's nothing on the screen.
Me: *?* You mean it's black?
Mom: There's nothing there.
Me: Is it bla-
Mom: Oh, do I have to wiggle the thing a bit?
Me: Okay, so it was black. yes, wiggle the mouse. Oh, first, make sure the download is finished, there should be a little box open.
Mom: There's the screen. There's a picture of that guy from -
Me: yes mom, that's my desktop, there should be a little box open, too.
Mom: Oh, I see it!
Me: Okay, does it look finished? There's no green bar going or anything?
Mom: No, I guess it's done.
Me: Okay then. There's the green button on the lower left hand side of the screen that says "Start"
Mom: Where? I don't see it.
Me: Left. Lower. Green.
Mom: Oh! You mean that. I was on the grey part.
Me: No no. Don't click on the grey part, the Green.
Mom: No, I meant I was looking at the grey part where it says "light/dark" and "power"
Me: On the screen mom, as in what you're seeing on the computer.
Mom: Oh, well, when you said "button" I was looking for a real button. So how do I get to the green thing? Do I use the mouse?
Me: *baffled by the question* Well, yes.
Mom: Okay, the little arrows on the green thing. nothing's happening
Me: So now click it.
Mom: What? How?
Me: Er...you click it, with the mouse.
Mom: Using the button on the top here?
Me: (top?) There are two buttons, one left, one right, use the one on the left. Did a menu pop up?
Mom: yes.
Me: Okay, at the bottom should be something that says "Shut down" or "turn off"
Mom: yeah, I see it.
Me: Okay, now click again, just like before on that. Now another thing should appear with 3 options, choose shut down. That's it.
Mom: Okay, but it's not turning off, it went to a blue screen.
Me: that's okay, that means it's shutting down.
I am going to sign her up for some classes, I swear. Of course I felt dead awful after for being short with her. I'm just no good at instructing people on something I find very basic and self-explanitory.
Me: Okay, on the lower left hand side of the screen there's a green button.
Mom: There's nothing on the screen.
Me: *?* You mean it's black?
Mom: There's nothing there.
Me: Is it bla-
Mom: Oh, do I have to wiggle the thing a bit?
Me: Okay, so it was black. yes, wiggle the mouse. Oh, first, make sure the download is finished, there should be a little box open.
Mom: There's the screen. There's a picture of that guy from -
Me: yes mom, that's my desktop, there should be a little box open, too.
Mom: Oh, I see it!
Me: Okay, does it look finished? There's no green bar going or anything?
Mom: No, I guess it's done.
Me: Okay then. There's the green button on the lower left hand side of the screen that says "Start"
Mom: Where? I don't see it.
Me: Left. Lower. Green.
Mom: Oh! You mean that. I was on the grey part.
Me: No no. Don't click on the grey part, the Green.
Mom: No, I meant I was looking at the grey part where it says "light/dark" and "power"
Me: On the screen mom, as in what you're seeing on the computer.
Mom: Oh, well, when you said "button" I was looking for a real button. So how do I get to the green thing? Do I use the mouse?
Me: *baffled by the question* Well, yes.
Mom: Okay, the little arrows on the green thing. nothing's happening
Me: So now click it.
Mom: What? How?
Me: Er...you click it, with the mouse.
Mom: Using the button on the top here?
Me: (top?) There are two buttons, one left, one right, use the one on the left. Did a menu pop up?
Mom: yes.
Me: Okay, at the bottom should be something that says "Shut down" or "turn off"
Mom: yeah, I see it.
Me: Okay, now click again, just like before on that. Now another thing should appear with 3 options, choose shut down. That's it.
Mom: Okay, but it's not turning off, it went to a blue screen.
Me: that's okay, that means it's shutting down.
I am going to sign her up for some classes, I swear. Of course I felt dead awful after for being short with her. I'm just no good at instructing people on something I find very basic and self-explanitory.