Stargate SG1 Rewatch Post #9: Season 2, Episodes 10-14
Giant bugs, Martouf, Native American aliens, and government conspiracies.
Bane
This is one of those episodes I don't remember much from because I probably never watched it more than once. And that's because I probably didn't it like it one bit. Let's see if it really is worth my avoidance for so many years.
Oooh, a shiny technological parallel or advanced culture? Oh, all dead. Poo. Nice place though, looks like some big shiny place I've probably seen in other Sci-Fi Channel shows. I know a couple later Tollan episodes used some same filming locations BSG did. Oh, Vancouver. Even The 4400 was filmed there.
Big Giant Bug! What's Jack gonna do? SHOOT IT OF FUCKING COURSE!
Maybourne! I just made a giant happy face! See, didn't remember he was in this. Aaaw Jack's all pissy. Oh boys you are destined to be the favorite love/hate slash pairing of the series! ♥
"General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man."
Uhm...who is Timothy? Sam seems to know him well. Was he in earlier eps? I know it's been a couple years for me now for season 1, but I...have no memory of this man to be as upset as Sam here. I r confuzzled.
Eeeeew, Teal'c no. No reaching in and pulling out your larval Goa'uld. Iiiiick.
WTF street punks? Big buff guy, looking strung-out, and you're going to bother him? And the little girl's all "That guy's cool." Erhm...wha? Kids these days. *shakes head*
This metamorphosis story is kinda wtf, but it's the "And the ill Teal'c makes friends with a little sorta orphan girl" that makes the episode really lame.
Daniel's hair is longer than Sam's. lol
Wait. This girl. Is she teenage!Cassie later on? *imdbs* She is!
She's got a "sense" that Teal'c is a good guy even though he's said "I'm dangerous." Chica loca mas! Yeah, he's a "good guy" but he's about to turn into several giant killer bugs! So yeah, dangerous! But her "sense" tells her Maybourne is a butt-monkey.
And Jack says something silly, but of course THAT'S IT! Janet and Sam excitedly talk science and Jack is confused. *pats heem*
Yay! Timothy's redeemed himself! Whoever the fuck he was.
And we end with warm and fuzzies time as Teal'c returns to the girl for a water gun fight. Ehhhh.... okay, Teal'c shooting Daniel's kinda funny.
So, in the end, I guess I never went back to this ep because it's boring and pointless.
---------------------
The Tok'ra pt 1
Okay, so why was Sam hooked up to the brain monitors? Has she been doing this a lot lately? I mean, that is a little weird and doesn't get explained. Just conveniently she was under brain-surveillance when she had this vision of Jolinar's memories? Or were the electrodes part of helping her access the memories? I DON'T KNOW!
Everyone else in the briefing room has water. Daniel? Coffee.
Hmm, this desert are looks an awful like Abydos. Oh British Columbia, can't you have more desert?
Tok'ra, what is your hats? You look like cheap dog-ear costumes.
Ew. Martouf. I'm sorry. I know some of the fangirls love him, but...elch. I do not find him attractive and the whole "You have the protein marker of my dead girlfriend, let's hook up!" Is skeezy.
Tok'ra tunnels are awful purdy.
Garshaw! So pretty and awesome. I love her dress. Looks like Padme's bondage dress from Attack of the Clones.
So much good stuff, expanding the universe, diversifying an alien race; making things less black&white than they were at the start. I mean, Tok'ra are still arrogant assholes, but I like the concept. I also like Jack's lack of decorum and Daniel's diplomacy skills that are so badly needed to make-up for it.
You know when someone asks "What was someone like?" Why is the first thing always "they were very beautiful." Yes, because that's terribly important to what a person is "like"
"This must be what's it like to be schizophrenic." No, no it's not.
Hey, Col Makepeace! Funny, seems a decent enough guy. To bad fandom made him into a Daniel-hungry rapist.
cliche watch:
Daniel and his coffee
---------------------
The Tok'ra pt 2
You know it is rather douchey. The Tok'ra being all "If you don't want to be a host, then we cannot be allies. Because you know, this is all voluntary, but if you don't agree that means you hate us." Just because someone doesn't wish to participate in your culture doesn't mean they hate it.
Thank goodness we have someone who is fatally ill so it's either symbiote or death. But that's okay. Because Jacob is awesome and Selmak is awesome.
I love Jack's sunglasses. I always wanted a pair like that.
Jacob was dying in a hospital of cancer. Hes walking around pretty well for all that. Wish my dad looked that good when he only had days left.
Language lesson!
Teal'c watches the crystal caves collapse on themselves: "Chel nockin"
Daniel: "Direct translation, 'very cool.'"
Saroosh (Selmak's host before Jacob) is clearly awesome, too. Wish we had more time with her.
"The blending may not work at all." Ohhhh, thanks for bringing that up now.
Symbiote goes out one month and into another. Yeah. That wasn't disturbing.
Bye, Jacob! See you again soon! *hugs*
cliche/catchphrase watch:
"Kree!" x2
"Holy Hannah!" x2 (Jacob both times!)
---------------------
Spirits
When you're on a sci-fi show one really doesn't expect to be shot by an arrow.
uuuugh. Show, why the alien!Native Americans? I know this show is about the displaced cultures (and deities having actually been aliens) from all over the planet, not just Egypt or Scandanavia, so I guess it makes sense why not pre-colonial North America? But...but...really the only story you could think of was "White explorers coming to make deals with the Natives so they can strip the land of its natural resources"?
Tonane! He's so layed-back. Tonane abides.
Poor Daniel. So disappointed that there's no stereotypical ceremonial dancing.
Puppy!
Pretending the crow is talking to you to get what you want almost made me want to facepalm. Then I realized I realized I rather "face palm" the rest of them. And by that, I mean smack 'em up!
My apologies about the "white explorers" bit earlier. SG11 has a black guy.
STEAL ALL THE TRINIUM! The US Military and its ethics. Yay.
Yah, that was the other thing. The "Spirit" aliens putting their fists together to make people disappear looks really silly.
Daniel not-so-metaphorically in the closet in the closet with Tonane.
Jack saves the base with only one arm!
And the "spirits'" true forms are silly, too with their gill faces and silver dresses. It's disturbingly Old Trek... TNG at best.
The basis of all good relationships is communication.
"Jack?"
"Daniel?"
"Are you you?"
"Yeah. You?"
"What?"
"Never mind."
and
"How do I know you're really Daniel?"
"Because."
"...Yeah, okay."
---------------------
Touchstone
Good episode! Well, I actually forget about the planet that owns the Touchstone and how silly and cliche those people are. The important thing is GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!
You know only one small device to control your planet's weather? You'd think maybe a back-up system would exist for something like that? Whatever, the touchstone is just a McGuffin. What's important about this episode is awesome X-Files like government conspiracies.
AHA! Strange weather patterns? Alien device! That's what's been causing the dangerous heat waves.
The Antarctic gate! Hooray! Continuity!
"Son, do you know what color this phone is?" Apparently you can be put on hold while on the Red Phone.
"A case of the right hand not knowing what the left foot is doing?" Jack.
Maybourne! All the shady-dealing! ♥♥♥♥
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE GOING TO AREA51!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D:D:D:D:D
Major Reynolds, NID. N'aw, he's an SG1 fanboy. He joins the SGC later, doesn't he? Oh, NID I look forward to all our future dealings.
Area 51, full of helpful continuity. No, we have not forgotten about previous important things found or events that would have led to us having alien tech.
"This where you keep the little green men?"
"There are no alien life forms at Area 51."
Jack looks and Teal'c, "Present company excluded, of course."
Teal'c to Maybourne: "In my culture, I'd be well within my rights to dismember you."If only he started it with "On Chulak..." damn.
I like how Jack is confused by the order to not shoot all the things.
...Daniel is a linguist/archeologist/anthropologist who isn't very good at fighting yet. Why is on this mission again?
We got your flippin' touchstone back, crappy actors, now quit your whining. Little Tri-Forces come out of it? Man, srsly, if not for the cheesy off-world stuff, this ep would be completely good.
Cliche watch:
Daniel♥Coffee
Keeping Track Series Totals:
Kree! 9
Holy Hannah! 3
Bane
This is one of those episodes I don't remember much from because I probably never watched it more than once. And that's because I probably didn't it like it one bit. Let's see if it really is worth my avoidance for so many years.
Oooh, a shiny technological parallel or advanced culture? Oh, all dead. Poo. Nice place though, looks like some big shiny place I've probably seen in other Sci-Fi Channel shows. I know a couple later Tollan episodes used some same filming locations BSG did. Oh, Vancouver. Even The 4400 was filmed there.
Big Giant Bug! What's Jack gonna do? SHOOT IT OF FUCKING COURSE!
Maybourne! I just made a giant happy face! See, didn't remember he was in this. Aaaw Jack's all pissy. Oh boys you are destined to be the favorite love/hate slash pairing of the series! ♥
"General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man."
Uhm...who is Timothy? Sam seems to know him well. Was he in earlier eps? I know it's been a couple years for me now for season 1, but I...have no memory of this man to be as upset as Sam here. I r confuzzled.
Eeeeew, Teal'c no. No reaching in and pulling out your larval Goa'uld. Iiiiick.
WTF street punks? Big buff guy, looking strung-out, and you're going to bother him? And the little girl's all "That guy's cool." Erhm...wha? Kids these days. *shakes head*
This metamorphosis story is kinda wtf, but it's the "And the ill Teal'c makes friends with a little sorta orphan girl" that makes the episode really lame.
Daniel's hair is longer than Sam's. lol
Wait. This girl. Is she teenage!Cassie later on? *imdbs* She is!
She's got a "sense" that Teal'c is a good guy even though he's said "I'm dangerous." Chica loca mas! Yeah, he's a "good guy" but he's about to turn into several giant killer bugs! So yeah, dangerous! But her "sense" tells her Maybourne is a butt-monkey.
And Jack says something silly, but of course THAT'S IT! Janet and Sam excitedly talk science and Jack is confused. *pats heem*
Yay! Timothy's redeemed himself! Whoever the fuck he was.
And we end with warm and fuzzies time as Teal'c returns to the girl for a water gun fight. Ehhhh.... okay, Teal'c shooting Daniel's kinda funny.
So, in the end, I guess I never went back to this ep because it's boring and pointless.
---------------------
The Tok'ra pt 1
Okay, so why was Sam hooked up to the brain monitors? Has she been doing this a lot lately? I mean, that is a little weird and doesn't get explained. Just conveniently she was under brain-surveillance when she had this vision of Jolinar's memories? Or were the electrodes part of helping her access the memories? I DON'T KNOW!
Everyone else in the briefing room has water. Daniel? Coffee.
Hmm, this desert are looks an awful like Abydos. Oh British Columbia, can't you have more desert?
Tok'ra, what is your hats? You look like cheap dog-ear costumes.
Ew. Martouf. I'm sorry. I know some of the fangirls love him, but...elch. I do not find him attractive and the whole "You have the protein marker of my dead girlfriend, let's hook up!" Is skeezy.
Tok'ra tunnels are awful purdy.
Garshaw! So pretty and awesome. I love her dress. Looks like Padme's bondage dress from Attack of the Clones.
So much good stuff, expanding the universe, diversifying an alien race; making things less black&white than they were at the start. I mean, Tok'ra are still arrogant assholes, but I like the concept. I also like Jack's lack of decorum and Daniel's diplomacy skills that are so badly needed to make-up for it.
You know when someone asks "What was someone like?" Why is the first thing always "they were very beautiful." Yes, because that's terribly important to what a person is "like"
"This must be what's it like to be schizophrenic." No, no it's not.
Hey, Col Makepeace! Funny, seems a decent enough guy. To bad fandom made him into a Daniel-hungry rapist.
cliche watch:
Daniel and his coffee
---------------------
The Tok'ra pt 2
You know it is rather douchey. The Tok'ra being all "If you don't want to be a host, then we cannot be allies. Because you know, this is all voluntary, but if you don't agree that means you hate us." Just because someone doesn't wish to participate in your culture doesn't mean they hate it.
Thank goodness we have someone who is fatally ill so it's either symbiote or death. But that's okay. Because Jacob is awesome and Selmak is awesome.
I love Jack's sunglasses. I always wanted a pair like that.
Jacob was dying in a hospital of cancer. Hes walking around pretty well for all that. Wish my dad looked that good when he only had days left.
Language lesson!
Teal'c watches the crystal caves collapse on themselves: "Chel nockin"
Daniel: "Direct translation, 'very cool.'"
Saroosh (Selmak's host before Jacob) is clearly awesome, too. Wish we had more time with her.
"The blending may not work at all." Ohhhh, thanks for bringing that up now.
Symbiote goes out one month and into another. Yeah. That wasn't disturbing.
Bye, Jacob! See you again soon! *hugs*
cliche/catchphrase watch:
"Kree!" x2
"Holy Hannah!" x2 (Jacob both times!)
---------------------
Spirits
When you're on a sci-fi show one really doesn't expect to be shot by an arrow.
uuuugh. Show, why the alien!Native Americans? I know this show is about the displaced cultures (and deities having actually been aliens) from all over the planet, not just Egypt or Scandanavia, so I guess it makes sense why not pre-colonial North America? But...but...really the only story you could think of was "White explorers coming to make deals with the Natives so they can strip the land of its natural resources"?
Tonane! He's so layed-back. Tonane abides.
Poor Daniel. So disappointed that there's no stereotypical ceremonial dancing.
Puppy!
Pretending the crow is talking to you to get what you want almost made me want to facepalm. Then I realized I realized I rather "face palm" the rest of them. And by that, I mean smack 'em up!
My apologies about the "white explorers" bit earlier. SG11 has a black guy.
STEAL ALL THE TRINIUM! The US Military and its ethics. Yay.
Yah, that was the other thing. The "Spirit" aliens putting their fists together to make people disappear looks really silly.
Daniel not-so-metaphorically in the closet in the closet with Tonane.
Jack saves the base with only one arm!
And the "spirits'" true forms are silly, too with their gill faces and silver dresses. It's disturbingly Old Trek... TNG at best.
The basis of all good relationships is communication.
"Jack?"
"Daniel?"
"Are you you?"
"Yeah. You?"
"What?"
"Never mind."
and
"How do I know you're really Daniel?"
"Because."
"...Yeah, okay."
---------------------
Touchstone
Good episode! Well, I actually forget about the planet that owns the Touchstone and how silly and cliche those people are. The important thing is GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!
You know only one small device to control your planet's weather? You'd think maybe a back-up system would exist for something like that? Whatever, the touchstone is just a McGuffin. What's important about this episode is awesome X-Files like government conspiracies.
AHA! Strange weather patterns? Alien device! That's what's been causing the dangerous heat waves.
The Antarctic gate! Hooray! Continuity!
"Son, do you know what color this phone is?" Apparently you can be put on hold while on the Red Phone.
"A case of the right hand not knowing what the left foot is doing?" Jack.
Maybourne! All the shady-dealing! ♥♥♥♥
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE GOING TO AREA51!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D:D:D:D:D
Major Reynolds, NID. N'aw, he's an SG1 fanboy. He joins the SGC later, doesn't he? Oh, NID I look forward to all our future dealings.
Area 51, full of helpful continuity. No, we have not forgotten about previous important things found or events that would have led to us having alien tech.
"This where you keep the little green men?"
"There are no alien life forms at Area 51."
Jack looks and Teal'c, "Present company excluded, of course."
Teal'c to Maybourne: "In my culture, I'd be well within my rights to dismember you."If only he started it with "On Chulak..." damn.
I like how Jack is confused by the order to not shoot all the things.
...Daniel is a linguist/archeologist/anthropologist who isn't very good at fighting yet. Why is on this mission again?
We got your flippin' touchstone back, crappy actors, now quit your whining. Little Tri-Forces come out of it? Man, srsly, if not for the cheesy off-world stuff, this ep would be completely good.
Cliche watch:
Daniel♥Coffee
Keeping Track Series Totals:
Kree! 9
Holy Hannah! 3