I dont know....
....it was too perfect. and now its about as far away from perfect as you could get. i havent felt heartache like this for a very long time, i took measures so something like this wouldnt happen, yet here i am...broken inside again. I dont know what to think...i have so many thoughts flying through my head...yet i say nothing. Should i defy convention? i dont know. Something ive lived fine without my whole life has come and gone in less than a week. But why do i feel so empty now? why do i feel part of me is missing?? how can something ive never needed before mear days ago...now tear me up inside because i dont have it? is my mind playing tricks? am i too young to understand, or too narrow minded to admit to myself? am i hiding the truth from myself without knowing? am i hiding the truth from other without knowing? i dont know. this is insane...and i know it...its not like this is the first time something like this has happened, but at the same time it is the first time something like this has happened. do i just need time? will i forget about this within days?...i dont want to. why is there so many questions going on in my head? why cant i control my emotions? why cant i sleep? why do i look at what i have now and feel empty? i dont know. with all the comtion going on in my head...only one question stands clear in my head...one outspoken voice in me who wont be quiet, who wont stop yelling at me...if i made the right decision, then why do i feel so wrong inside? did i make the right decision? i dont know....i just dont know...