rant of the indecisive
Honestly, I have no idea.
Part of me regretted opting for SOVA instead of d/p.
Having being mentally-prepared for the past few months that I would be taking the drawing/painting paper for Art 'O'-level, it was only until and few days ago that my teachers have decided for me that it would be better for me to take the SOVA paper instead. No, it wasn't even because I'm good at SOVA (like my classmate is). The main reason why my teachers felt that way was that I draw too slowly. GDI, why are both my teachers super frank and sarcastic human beings?? Maybe I should be glad that they didn't tell me it was because I can't draw.
To be honest, I actually enjoyed doing SOVA last year. That sort of amazing feeling when you write endless pages of neat text, and it actually gets a full mark (Well, only one out of the many questions, but I didn't do to bad for that paper). I like that feeling of accomplishment, which I can't get from my Social Studies assignments, because I'm simply too damn lousy at SBQ/SEQ skills (and also thanks to that, I couldn't take History even though I like it).
BUT, my main passion is still with drawing. After all, I'm not a 'writing' person, because my English isn't that fantastic. That's why I'm filled with doubts about SOVA. However, I know that if I take the d/p paper, it would be less promising and practical than SOVA, since d/p is like a mini coursework. At the same time, I had no faith in myself whether I can think of a fantastic idea that I myself like, and finish 30 drawings in 3 weeks. So in the end, I gave in, and went for SOVA instead.
Another reason why my heart is yearning to take the d/p paper is because, I'm already most probably doing an installation for my coursework. I was planning to do illustrations, but it looks like my idea would be better presented in 3D form. Ironically, I had told myself before that I definitely will not do 3D for my coursework because I already had a terrible experiences with it last year. Even so, I was looking forward to d/p paper in hopes it would test my 2D skills, but eventually, that anticipation was destroyed too...
I know how my friend had told me that I would be able to do such things on my own free time, but really? I actually desire my drawings to be acknowledged. I don't think anyone would ever look at them if there isn't going to be this 'O'-level bullshit. Besides, I want my teacher to teach me the technical skills, which they had never taught us (That's why I'm a pathetic "art student" who has no-fucking-idea how to do proper shading, draw realistically, paint, and many more), and if I want to be taught those, I have to take d/p paper. Also because of that, I admit that it had somehow led to my disgusting and untrue mentality that taking SOVA probably means I can't really draw...
I'm not quite sure the point of this rant, because I have already submitted my 'O'-levels registration form today. Nevertheless, I plan to give in my best for the exams. At least I'm quite happy I have a direction for my coursework right now.
Lesson learnt: Don't take Art.
It will be okay, I will be alright.
Part of me regretted opting for SOVA instead of d/p.
Having being mentally-prepared for the past few months that I would be taking the drawing/painting paper for Art 'O'-level, it was only until and few days ago that my teachers have decided for me that it would be better for me to take the SOVA paper instead. No, it wasn't even because I'm good at SOVA (like my classmate is). The main reason why my teachers felt that way was that I draw too slowly. GDI, why are both my teachers super frank and sarcastic human beings?? Maybe I should be glad that they didn't tell me it was because I can't draw.
To be honest, I actually enjoyed doing SOVA last year. That sort of amazing feeling when you write endless pages of neat text, and it actually gets a full mark (Well, only one out of the many questions, but I didn't do to bad for that paper). I like that feeling of accomplishment, which I can't get from my Social Studies assignments, because I'm simply too damn lousy at SBQ/SEQ skills (and also thanks to that, I couldn't take History even though I like it).
BUT, my main passion is still with drawing. After all, I'm not a 'writing' person, because my English isn't that fantastic. That's why I'm filled with doubts about SOVA. However, I know that if I take the d/p paper, it would be less promising and practical than SOVA, since d/p is like a mini coursework. At the same time, I had no faith in myself whether I can think of a fantastic idea that I myself like, and finish 30 drawings in 3 weeks. So in the end, I gave in, and went for SOVA instead.
Another reason why my heart is yearning to take the d/p paper is because, I'm already most probably doing an installation for my coursework. I was planning to do illustrations, but it looks like my idea would be better presented in 3D form. Ironically, I had told myself before that I definitely will not do 3D for my coursework because I already had a terrible experiences with it last year. Even so, I was looking forward to d/p paper in hopes it would test my 2D skills, but eventually, that anticipation was destroyed too...
I know how my friend had told me that I would be able to do such things on my own free time, but really? I actually desire my drawings to be acknowledged. I don't think anyone would ever look at them if there isn't going to be this 'O'-level bullshit. Besides, I want my teacher to teach me the technical skills, which they had never taught us (That's why I'm a pathetic "art student" who has no-fucking-idea how to do proper shading, draw realistically, paint, and many more), and if I want to be taught those, I have to take d/p paper. Also because of that, I admit that it had somehow led to my disgusting and untrue mentality that taking SOVA probably means I can't really draw...
I'm not quite sure the point of this rant, because I have already submitted my 'O'-levels registration form today. Nevertheless, I plan to give in my best for the exams. At least I'm quite happy I have a direction for my coursework right now.
Lesson learnt: Don't take Art.
It will be okay, I will be alright.