(no subject)
I can feel it. It's cruel barbs, piercing my innards, stabbing into my spine, burying itself among every part of my body. It's fangs scrape my neck, it's putrid and hot breath slides across my cheek. It's hands roam over my sides, my hips, my back. Touching me on the chest and the face. It seems as a caress..but this caress is deadly. Each touch from it causes more disorder within me, causes my thoughts to break apart, replaced with darker ones. It draws the tip of a claw over my cheek..no blood seeps out, no wound appears. The damage is not physical. This small scratch upon my psyche sends jagged cracks throughout the bonds of trust I have created, allowing in the shadows of despair. The work is slow, at first..but as time passes, their work picks up. It forces me to eye my friends with distrust, my lover with jealousy, my family with spite. Kindness turns to malice, love turns to hate. In an effort to repel these semi-false emotions, I try to detach myself. But usually, it doesn't work. The darkness flows out into the grayness of emotional neutrality, it's tendrils gently brushing my skin, paralyzing me, as it wraps itself around me once more. Again, it drills into me, thrusting tentacles as sharp as steel lances into my flesh, piercing my brain with it's many teeth, completeing taking me over. By this time, I have fallen into a depressive rut. Each thought is of another betrayal, another scenario that could happen. Yet, even when fully possessed by it, I find a way to pull myself out. A joke, told by one of my friends, can loosen it's hold upon me. The sight or sound of someone I hold special causes it to twist in agony. When I feel these things, I can retaliate, and force it off. But it's never gone forever. It knows me too well, it has the taste of my blood on it's tongue, the scent of my fear in it's nostrils. It will always find me.