this post has no point
I've never been the star of my own story. And now that I think about it, that's kind of weird.
That's not a comment on my life or anything. I'm not being ignored, I love my life, double thumbs up, blah blah blah. But I was thinking recently, and I realized that when I watch TV or get into a fandom, that sort of thing, I mentally cast my friends and family in the roles of the characters. Sometimes I'll go all out, and every person I've ever met ever gets a part in the show, but usually it's just me and my two best friends. Power trio and all that.
And you'd think, this being my fantasy, my daydream, my life, I'd be the hero, right? But I never am. Not in my mind, anyway. Actually, that job goes to my friend aliceheist. That's always been her part, and I don't mind. She's not particularly more qualified or a better leader, but if she's anything it's confident. She sees herself in the mirror and she sees the hero, and so that's how I've always seen her too. Like when we watch Buffy. Alice was Buffy, with me and joyfraser as Willow and Xander.
And that's cool.
Everything got ... strange when she moved away. Not bad, per se. Just strange. Over the last year, all the things that I just assumed were Alice's niche suddenly sort of ... applied to me too. Because before I was shy and self conscious, non-confrontational to the extreme, and okay, I'll admit it, sort of nerdy. And I'm still a dork, that's a given, but the other things are sort of fading away. Still a part of me, just less. Character development! And it's like, now that she's not here to be "The Supah Sexy One" guys notice me? And I get dates? And I'm all popular and stuff? Hold up.
Like I said, weird.
That's not a comment on my life or anything. I'm not being ignored, I love my life, double thumbs up, blah blah blah. But I was thinking recently, and I realized that when I watch TV or get into a fandom, that sort of thing, I mentally cast my friends and family in the roles of the characters. Sometimes I'll go all out, and every person I've ever met ever gets a part in the show, but usually it's just me and my two best friends. Power trio and all that.
And you'd think, this being my fantasy, my daydream, my life, I'd be the hero, right? But I never am. Not in my mind, anyway. Actually, that job goes to my friend aliceheist. That's always been her part, and I don't mind. She's not particularly more qualified or a better leader, but if she's anything it's confident. She sees herself in the mirror and she sees the hero, and so that's how I've always seen her too. Like when we watch Buffy. Alice was Buffy, with me and joyfraser as Willow and Xander.
And that's cool.
Everything got ... strange when she moved away. Not bad, per se. Just strange. Over the last year, all the things that I just assumed were Alice's niche suddenly sort of ... applied to me too. Because before I was shy and self conscious, non-confrontational to the extreme, and okay, I'll admit it, sort of nerdy. And I'm still a dork, that's a given, but the other things are sort of fading away. Still a part of me, just less. Character development! And it's like, now that she's not here to be "The Supah Sexy One" guys notice me? And I get dates? And I'm all popular and stuff? Hold up.
Like I said, weird.