Late Starter Blues
I hate the term 'late starter'. Even more so, I hate that I'm a late starter. I wish I was in like year 9. I wish I could re-do my 15th year and that I at least started ballet at a better school. I wish I knew better. I wish I realised earlier. I wish I wasn't in year 12 now because I need to make up for lost time. Because now I'm barely taken seriously, by anyone. I've missed so many opportunites and it kills me because I feel so unfulfilled. Then my teacher goes and brands me as an 'older person' which I absolutely despised. I got put in a shit role because of all this. That's why I want to move. This school used to make me so happy before 'older' people started to come. Maybe this new girl will end up being like me and be as serious and driven about ballet as I am, but I hate being branded with these people when I've worked so much harder then they have. I work so hard and I never get noticed. Never have, it's never been my thing. I want to do my G6 exam in April next year so much because I need to get out of it. I'm not ashamed to say that I need evidence that I am better. This sounds so selfish and horrible but I just need something to show for how hard I work.