"If we only wanted to be happy it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which
There was a time, approximately a year anna half ago or so, when i was walking home from work and wondering how stable things were going to be. In my life, at that point, nothing ESPECIALLY notable was going on. Sure, I was coming up on my 10 year anniversary with my sweetie-pie, but anniversaries, like birthdays, are just these arbitrary marks. They're not "something happening" any more than the passage of time is "something happening". Work was stable, but not especially eventful (long-term projects require a LOT of groundwork). The day-to-day procession was a comfortable pattern. I remember imagining what it would be like to be a Newspaper worker in the 1930s or whatever, enjoying cradle-to-grave employment. What would it FEEL like to experience patterns for 20 year stretches at a time?
Part of that novelty comes from the notion that 20 years ago is an ETERNITY when you're in your 30s. =) That, and it's naive to imagine a cradle-to-grave job in an industry that's gone from a couple of basement-dwelling weirdos making Commander Keen and Police Quest to WoW and Crysis 2. Add to that the fact that I've never lived anywhere longer than seven years... my notion of "putting down roots" is a little pear-shaped. So even disregarding all that, I'd had a good, four year run in Maynard and I was quite happy with our patterns and how everything was going. But good or bad, things felt stable. And I remember wondering idly "Wonder when something's going to destabilize?".
A year ago, I heard a dear work-friend of mine telling me she planned to leave her husband. Couple months after that, rumours started coming out that the company might be moving, and I'd have to sell my house an' get a new one. Then a college friend of mine got a divorce. Then another friend of mine started a new relationship. Then the move became official. Then a friend of mine got pregnant. Then Dear, dear friends of mine separated. Almost no-one I know is in a stable, predictable point in their lives right now. I guess none of us ever are, but it's harder to pretend, these days. For a while, the stress of the move was really getting to me. Perhaps it was the stress of the move combined with new medication, bad hours, not forging a strong direction at work... who knows. But it was heavy as hell. Now that I'm riding the wave somewhat (Purchase and Sale signed on the new house, timelines coming into focus), I'm trying to do what I can to help out all of my friends who aren't dealing as well with their own transitions... There's just a Whole lotta shit going on.
I very much appreciated my boy Feinstein coming in with the "Stop being Emo and call your friends" comment, back when I was posting something in freakout-mode. I've never had a lot of friends, but I like to think that the very small number of close acquaintances I've got CAN be depended on. An' I wanna be similarly dependable. We're all in this together.
Anyway, PERSONAL UPDATES, since I haven't Journalized in ages an' even my Flickr's are gettin' anæmic:
NEW HOUSE! It's all picked out an' junk. No idea when we're moving in f'real, but the closing will be relatively soon, followed by repairs and upgrades we can't afford to make. We're living off th' incredibly magnanimity of our friends who are puttin' us up, but Kelli and I are doing what we can to minimize the inconvenience. This involves a LOT OF SHOVELING. See, since the old house hasn't sold yet, we need to keep that driveway accessible for showings and whatnots. Since we're staying with gracious hosts, we want to keep THEIR driveway/sidewalk nice. Since we've gotten about [2/3rds of a Shaq](http://www.boston.com/news/weather/graphics/2011_snowfall/) of snow SO FAR this year, Kelli an' I have been super-busy. We STILL love snow and I really still enjoy shovelin' the stuff, but the shine's comin' off the apple.
JOB! Coming along well, actually. First studio in my life that's lasted longer than 2.5 years. It really shouldn't be that big of an accomplishment, but it's a record. As of last October, to be precise! One event in what I hope will be a long series of pleasant surprises and positively bucked trends from this studio. Hope, as ever, swings eternal.
PERSONAL PROJECTS! All packed up, sadly. RTC is still live, and I've been doing LOTS of tattoo speculation and doodling (for when the coffers magically re-fill themselves), but anything else I'd be working on is mothballed. I hope everything's still fresh and exciting when I can finally get back to it! PVD's a Super-artsy town, and there's lots of interesting classes I've been looking into. Ceramics casting? Stained Glass? Neat stuff upon neat stuff.
FITNESS! The corset laces flush (need to get a new corset, too, one-a these days), but I'm still about 10 pounds over my goal (I'm pretty sure everyone I've ever known who looks FINE but still wants to lose weight is "10 pounds out", so I'm probably fine). The new place is close to 3 miles from the office, so although I'm expecting a bus-trip for the shitty days, it might be a nice job for a decent, no-frills urban bike. I should investigate.
I got nothin' else. That's as much interesting as I can manage forth, an' it ain't that interesting after a while. =)
-343
Part of that novelty comes from the notion that 20 years ago is an ETERNITY when you're in your 30s. =) That, and it's naive to imagine a cradle-to-grave job in an industry that's gone from a couple of basement-dwelling weirdos making Commander Keen and Police Quest to WoW and Crysis 2. Add to that the fact that I've never lived anywhere longer than seven years... my notion of "putting down roots" is a little pear-shaped. So even disregarding all that, I'd had a good, four year run in Maynard and I was quite happy with our patterns and how everything was going. But good or bad, things felt stable. And I remember wondering idly "Wonder when something's going to destabilize?".
A year ago, I heard a dear work-friend of mine telling me she planned to leave her husband. Couple months after that, rumours started coming out that the company might be moving, and I'd have to sell my house an' get a new one. Then a college friend of mine got a divorce. Then another friend of mine started a new relationship. Then the move became official. Then a friend of mine got pregnant. Then Dear, dear friends of mine separated. Almost no-one I know is in a stable, predictable point in their lives right now. I guess none of us ever are, but it's harder to pretend, these days. For a while, the stress of the move was really getting to me. Perhaps it was the stress of the move combined with new medication, bad hours, not forging a strong direction at work... who knows. But it was heavy as hell. Now that I'm riding the wave somewhat (Purchase and Sale signed on the new house, timelines coming into focus), I'm trying to do what I can to help out all of my friends who aren't dealing as well with their own transitions... There's just a Whole lotta shit going on.
I very much appreciated my boy Feinstein coming in with the "Stop being Emo and call your friends" comment, back when I was posting something in freakout-mode. I've never had a lot of friends, but I like to think that the very small number of close acquaintances I've got CAN be depended on. An' I wanna be similarly dependable. We're all in this together.
Anyway, PERSONAL UPDATES, since I haven't Journalized in ages an' even my Flickr's are gettin' anæmic:
NEW HOUSE! It's all picked out an' junk. No idea when we're moving in f'real, but the closing will be relatively soon, followed by repairs and upgrades we can't afford to make. We're living off th' incredibly magnanimity of our friends who are puttin' us up, but Kelli and I are doing what we can to minimize the inconvenience. This involves a LOT OF SHOVELING. See, since the old house hasn't sold yet, we need to keep that driveway accessible for showings and whatnots. Since we're staying with gracious hosts, we want to keep THEIR driveway/sidewalk nice. Since we've gotten about [2/3rds of a Shaq](http://www.boston.com/news/weather/graphics/2011_snowfall/) of snow SO FAR this year, Kelli an' I have been super-busy. We STILL love snow and I really still enjoy shovelin' the stuff, but the shine's comin' off the apple.
JOB! Coming along well, actually. First studio in my life that's lasted longer than 2.5 years. It really shouldn't be that big of an accomplishment, but it's a record. As of last October, to be precise! One event in what I hope will be a long series of pleasant surprises and positively bucked trends from this studio. Hope, as ever, swings eternal.
PERSONAL PROJECTS! All packed up, sadly. RTC is still live, and I've been doing LOTS of tattoo speculation and doodling (for when the coffers magically re-fill themselves), but anything else I'd be working on is mothballed. I hope everything's still fresh and exciting when I can finally get back to it! PVD's a Super-artsy town, and there's lots of interesting classes I've been looking into. Ceramics casting? Stained Glass? Neat stuff upon neat stuff.
FITNESS! The corset laces flush (need to get a new corset, too, one-a these days), but I'm still about 10 pounds over my goal (I'm pretty sure everyone I've ever known who looks FINE but still wants to lose weight is "10 pounds out", so I'm probably fine). The new place is close to 3 miles from the office, so although I'm expecting a bus-trip for the shitty days, it might be a nice job for a decent, no-frills urban bike. I should investigate.
I got nothin' else. That's as much interesting as I can manage forth, an' it ain't that interesting after a while. =)
-343