The Little Quirks of Fate 3/?
Title: The Little Quirks of Fate 3/?
Author: SevenCorvus
Fandom: Avengers
Pairing/Character: Steve/Tony
Rating: pg-13 (this part)
Warnings: spoilers for Civil War, angst, dark themes in later chapters
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except in my dreams.
Word Count: 631 (this part)
Beta: Beck
Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long, hopefully more will be forthcoming soon.
Previous Parts: Ch.1=http://leiadiana.livejournal.com/10979.html#cutid1
Ch. 2=http://leiadiana.livejournal.com/11630.html#cutid1
Ch.2.5=http://leiadiana.livejournal.com/17190.html#cutid1
Reality is a funny thing. It is almost entirely a matter of perception. He had certainly run into a number of villains who seemed to be trying to influence a reality that wasn’t there. And for a man as smart as he was, it would not be all that difficult to purposefully alter the way he perceived reality. Extremis would make such an endeavor even simpler. Yet as tempting as the thought was to alter his reality to one where Steve had never existed, or even better still alive somewhere, Tony held back, terrified that such a change could damage his mental state even more and cause him to do more harm that he would always regret.
No, better to not take such a risk. Instead he went back to his tried and true method of shutting down emotionally. Keeping himself locked into such a blank state, that nothing could touch him, could hurt his resolve to see what was necessary through. And it had worked, he had managed to get through months and months of mind numbing work, but that was done with. He had done what he had set out to, he had gotten registration overturned, the Avengers mansion rebuilt, and the team back together, thought that was more in spite of him than because. Tony thought it was what Steve would have wanted, but now it was time to get back to what he wanted.
His hold on his emotions had finally crumbled under the stress, and he had given in, happy to lose himself under the deluge. Wanting nothing more than to be torn apart by his torrent of thoughts and feelings. Nothing could find or disturb him here; nothing could get through to him to cause further pain. Tony was done, he had given everything he could, and now without something or someone to support him there was nothing else.
He had shut off the Extremis, closed himself off from the outside world, and let his mind drift, sifting through thoughts aimlessly. He hadn’t even noticed when someone entered the room, too wrapped up in himself. When a harsh gasp echoed around him, Tony blearily lifted his head from the corner he was pressed into, somehow not surprised to see Steve standing there.
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In all his wildest dreams, Steve could never have expected this. He had been worried about Tony, but he hadn’t anticipated that things could have gotten this bad. Tony hadn’t even noticed him, too trapped in whatever nightmares were in his mind. He was huddled against the far corner of the room, almost like he was trying to sink into the walls. Steve had first thought he was dead, white pale skin hung on a skeletal structure, the bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep seemed to take up his whole face. Only when he saw Tony’s chest rising and falling slightly with breath was he somewhat reassured, his friend wasn’t completely gone from him yet. Still, he fought a rising panic, Tony’s whole posture screamed of a defeated animal hiding to lick its wounds while waiting for death to take him.
What had brought his brilliant friend to this point? What had happened in his absence that could have caused such deterioration? Steve must have made some sound involuntarily as Tony finally realized his presence. Gathering his courage together to begin speaking, his breath was halted in his throat as he noticed that Tony had begun muttering to himself. Shock grew as Steve recognized that the other man was speaking of him as a hallucination, thrilled that his mind had provided him a companion temporarily as he awaited his end. No. Tony couldn’t be that far gone. He couldn’t have failed his friend before he even got a chance to help.