Fireworks for the Carnival [1/2]
Title: Fireworks for the Carnival
Author: sevenbee
Beta: moosikins
Artisit: reapertownusa
Genre: Carnival setting, drama, angst, romance
Spoilers/Warnings: All human, character death
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Gabriel Milton, Castiel Novak/Sam Winchester, one sided Balthazar/Dean Winchester, John Winchester and Lucifer Milton with mentions of Anna/Michael Milton, Becky/Chuck Milton, Bobby Singer and Ruby
Summary: The carnival in La Crosse was the most popular, even though they never had any fireworks.
Word Count: 10,979
Disclaimer: I own nothing… it’s something I seriously need to work on
Notes: Written for the debriel_miniBang. Please check out the awesome Art Masterpost by the amazingreapertownusa and leave a comment! Apologies for it in two parts, LiveJournal is under the impression it's too large.
31/5/1987
There’s only ever been one thing Dean Winchester looks forward to once a year. La Crosse, Wisconsin. The town’s culture is amazing to be a part of, there’s no doubt, but it’s also a person in particular that stays in La Crosse during June and July. Someone that doesn’t travel the same route as the Winchesters, but every year, they always meet up. Same place, same time. The sense of familiar trees surround the Impala on the no-where road, Dean can feel excitement bubble in his stomach.
It’s been exactly a year since he had seen Gabriel Milton. Of course, it’s been a year since they were in La Crosse, but Dean doesn’t care for that. He never really has. When they’re not in La Crosse, he is not happy; he just stays in the trailer waiting for his father to be done with the group of people that want to know what their dead family members are doing.
He’s not sympathetic to those people, though he should be, but he just can’t find the emotions to make him nice to the ones that come knocking on the trailer door asking for ‘John Winchester, Medium and helper.’ Dean just tells them to shove their curious minds up their ass and slams the door shut, returning to a sleeping Sam’s side.
Dean’s rude when he’s not around Gabriel, he doesn’t care about what his father does when they’re in the middle of no-where with people always prying at them. He had honestly thought to tell his father that they should stop traveling and give Sam a real chance at a home. The kid was two and all he’s going to know are unfamiliar faces. John had always had a way of changing Dean’s mind, however, a subtle reminder that next month of June, which equaled to one more week of being in this dead-beat town and they’d be on the road to Wisconsin.
It’s a cheap shot, but it always worked in the end. And every time Dean got tired of traveling around the country it’s usually a week before seeing Gabriel. Once he was reminded of the fact, he’d smile and he shut up about stopping. He never shut up when talking about what Gabriel was planning for them to do this year.
The carnival in La Crosse was the most popular, even though they never had any fireworks (which were Dean’s personal favorite). John was given his own trailer for his readings, which was good for them, it meant Dean and Sam didn’t have to leave the trailer while the readings were going on. Not that it’d be hard to force Dean out of the trailer in La Crosse, Sammy always following in tow. Chuck-Gabriel’s never-there father-had provided them with the extra trailer. He didn’t run the carnival, but he might as well with everything he does for it.
The Milton family always performed in the large tent in the centre of the field. Of course, Gabriel doesn’t, not yet. According to Chuck he is still too young to do anything, (he’s ten, so it’s understandable) so really the only two performers of the family are Michael and Lucifer. They’re Gabriel’s older brothers and Dean’s seen them more than he has seen Chuck. Gabriel says he doesn’t mind being raised by his older brothers, but Dean knows him well enough that that’s a cover.
Michael is used to being the father figure to both Lucifer and Gabriel, If Dean wasn’t slightly afraid of the older teenager; he might manage a conversation with him. When he had first met Michael and Lucifer, he had thought Lucifer was terrifying, but he supposed that was the trick with the Milton family. Michael looked nice, but he was protective of his two younger siblings. Lucifer looked scary, he was all muscles, but who would have thought that Gabriel was closer with Lucifer and could get him to steal things for Dean.
Then there was Castiel. Castiel Novak. Chuck had adopted him from God knows where. Not even Gabriel knew, but all of a sudden, he was just there and Michael was made to look after him. From what Gabriel had been told about the young, blue eyed, dark haired boy, was that his home life was abusive. His father was a drunk, bottles in each hand and swinging them at Cas. From this abuse his mother had been driven mad and apparently she now lives in a high security psychiatric ward.
It’s sad; really, Cas is mute. He doesn’t speak; his face is always a blank. But the sparkling blue eyes in him always shows that his interested in the conversation. Gabriel had taken to the four year old, just like he had Dean.
This year, they’re going to introduce Cas to Sam. It had been Gabriel’s idea, saying it was like play date for the two younger boys. Gabriel got to be in charge of what the plan was and Dean got to be the warden that got to watch them. Make sure that they’re happy and that Sam doesn’t talk Cas to death. The plan was for the adopted Novak to begin to speak, to interact with someone other than his own mind and mirror image.
In the distance, the field covered in the warm summer sunshine was ahead. Dean began to shift and get impatient in the passenger seat and John smiled to him. “Dean, at least wait until I stop the car.” John mused, giving a light chuckle.
“Hurry up!” Dean laughed before he turned in the seat to stare into the brown iris’ of his brother. “You excited Sammy? Gabriel and I are going to set up a play date for you.”
“Can’t I jus’ play with you and Gabe?” Sam asked his voice tired and shy.
“You’re getting to old to tag along with us. You need to have a friend of your own.” Dean told him.
“O-kay.” Sam sighed. “But what if I don’t like him?”
“Trust me; you might not even get the chance to not-like him. You just have to be nice and see if you get him to talk.”
“Why? Doesn’t he have a voice?”
Dean laughed again. “He does… well, at least we think.” That had never crossed his mind before, all the attempts they did to see if Cas could actually talk could have been impossible. All this time, it could just be nothing.
The Impala’s engine was beginning to hum quietly and it was slowing down. Dean shifted in his seat again, turning around to face the wind-shield. His hands ready to grab at the door. The moment the car halts, Dean swings the door open, jumping out of the car before John could even turn the engine off. The eight-year-old boy begins to run around the car and towards the Milton trailer he knows is near the animal field.
He looks past the sun, squinting as he makes out the few shadows that surround the camels. He can make out Lucifer, the tallest of the boys, feeding the camels. Lucifer must notice him to, because he can hear the teen calling out for Gabriel. It just makes the grin already on Dean’s face spread wider. The Milton trailer door slams open and Gabriel’s grinning and waiting with his arms open that Dean runs straight into.
Or, that was what was meant to happen. Dean never made it to Gabriel’s arms before he ran into a group of people. He landed down on the ground, flat on his back, eyes dancing along the sky, getting blinded by the sun. It took him a moment to notice what had happened and he struggled to focus his vision on the people huddled around him.
“You okay, kid?” A man asked while a woman said “Sweetie?”
Gabriel’s amused chuckle was a low background sound, but it’s what Dean focused on. He gave the people a nod of his head, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.
“He’s okay. Just excited.” Gabriel answered them, the laugh still evident in his tone. “Deano, here is uncoordinated. He’s also blind.”
Dean sent the older boy a glare at the comment and in return he got the laugh again.
“Go on, there’s nothing to see.” Gabriel shooed the people away, flicking his wrists to send them in the direction of the large tent. Then turning around to steal Dean’s arm and drag him towards the Milton trailer. “You should run into people more often, it’s a lot more fun after not seeing you for a year.”
“Maybe for you. That hurt.” Dean deadpanned. Gabriel had dragged him over to sit on a stack of hay where he was seated; he could hear Lucifer and Michael’s laughter. Laughing at him of course.
“That could be your talent. Boy who continuously runs into people.” Gabriel grinned.
“And what would yours be?” Dean asked, interested in the answer.
“Boy who laughs at boy who continuously runs into people.”
“Of course.” There was a fall of silence before Gabriel wrapped his arms around Dean’s chest tightly. He gasped as air was suddenly cut off to his lungs. “Gab-Gabriel...” Gabriel pulled away, nodding his head and giving an apologetic look.
“Sorry.” He murmured, but he still smiled.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you missed me.” Dean chuckled, with the added childish smile.
Gabriel’s face quickly changed and he shook his head. “Nah-uh.”
“Yah-uh.”
Dean smirked brightly at the older boy and in return he just got a glare. It was a joke, they both knew that; they would never meet in the eleven months they don’t spend together, they spend it missing each other. And as he looks into those childish hazel eyes, he can see the extent of it.
“So, I told Sammy about your little plan.” Dean began, after a beat. “He’s not sure whether Cas is going to like him or not.”
“Pfft, who knows if Cas really likes any of us. I’m sure he and Sam will get along like a unicycle and a monkey.” Gabriel snorted.
Dean just laughed, “Michael still won’t let you have a monkey?”
“No,” Gabriel frowned; kicking at his feet for a moment, Dean knows it’s a subject that the older boy doesn’t want to bring up. It’s not Michael that that is keeping Gabriel from having something for an act, but Chuck. Even though he’s not around, he still seems to control the Milton boys lives. He doesn’t see it, and he will never understand that. There was a shadow behind Gabriel, too short to be the older boy and a little taller to be Sam. It only left for one other person.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean greeted, but he only got silence in return.
“Um, how are you?” Dean tried.
Castiel gave a somewhat response by shrugging his shoulders which was what everyone got when they spoke to the mute-boy. Gabriel wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulders, giving him a squeeze. In all the four years that Dean has known Gabriel, he can see small flickers of both Michael and Lucifer in him, the protective and willingness to do anything for his younger brother. Dean has known since Cas had been dropped off, that Gabriel’s taken to the big brother role, it never had to be said because it’s very obvious.
“Where’s Sammy? We should light this candle!” Gabriel bounced onto his toes, giving Dean a big smirk and another squeeze of Castiel’s shoulders, in a clear sign of reassurance. All they could do with introducing their two younger brothers to one another was hope they would get along and leave them alone. As fun as it was to hang out with Sam; he always ran off and went into places he wasn’t meant to. John had called him curious, but Dean sees it annoying to continue to have to watch out for him.
As for Cas… Dean just doesn’t know how to act around a kid that never talked and only interacted with shrugs. If anyone could pull the dark haired kid out of his silence, it had to be Sam. Dean got to his feet then and began to lead them towards the area where he knew Sam would be. Their trailer was always in the same spot, beside the tent that had the large words ‘Mystery Spot’ entitled to it. For some reason its Gabriel’s favorite place to play in.
He can guess why; Gabriel’s what some would call weird, he prefers the life at the carnival over the ‘normal kids’ that attend school and grow up to have futures. Or again, as the youngest Milton puts it ‘the road to ruining and having a completely boring life.’ Dean doesn’t think it’d be that boring, he is curious though. He wants to know what it must be like not to have to travel around the country and what it’d be like to see the same people every day for the rest of your life.
Gabriel just doesn’t understand what Dean is talking about; after all, the kid is ten and thinks that travelling around the country is how everyone should live their life. Somehow, Dean knows that if Gabriel was ever given the opportunity to stay in one place, he’d run away. Gabriel just doesn’t stay in one place. Literally.
“Sammy, get out here.” Dean calls through the metal of the trailer as they approach it. “Hurry up; Cas isn’t going to wait forever.”
The door opens only a fraction and they can just see the mop of hair that always covers the boy’s head through the crack he made. “What if he doesn’t… you know, want to play with me?” Sam mumbles.
When Dean turns around to give Castiel a glance, he’s hiding behind Gabriel like Sam is some monster in his closet.
“Of course he wants to play with you, Sam. Just give it a go.” Dean steps forward, reaching into the darkness to grab Sam’s hand and pulls him out to stand in front of Gabriel and Castiel.
There are a lot of glances, mumbled words before they stand together. Castiel looks more interested, probably to have a child closer to his age and maybe someone he can look after. After all, you don’t have three older brothers without learning to protect someone younger.
To Gabriel and Dean’s surprise, they actually get along, Sam’s talking about something he read (or made up) to Cas and they seem so interested in one another that both boys smile widely at each other. They share food-well, Castiel is putting his food onto Sam’s plate with no words, but it still counts. It makes both the older boys feel happy, they decide to leave their siblings together, playing out front of Milton trailer.
“Good job, Gabby.”
“Thank you, Deanie.”
“It’s Deanna, thank you very much.”
“I’m sorry, Deanna.”
“No problem, Gabrielle.”
{----}
9/6/1994
It was bound to happen, he had watched his older brother’s go through this stage-though there is a big difference between what is happening while he stares out the window of the trailer, idly playing with his morning sugary cereal and trying to conceal his morning erection. He is thankful that Lucifer had already left to feed his grand-prize animals and Michael’s out trying to talk to their father. The only one left at the table inside the trailer is Castiel and he still plays dumb about it.
“I don’t think Dean can read minds.” The brunette comments, which snaps Gabriel out of his reverie and turns to just gawk at Castiel.
“What?” He says, distractedly.
“Dean. I don’t think he can read your mind. Well, through the window, at least.”
“What makes you say that?” Now Gabriel’s curious; getting Cas to learn how to talk was a good thing, but he kind of wishes that Sam hadn’t read the entire dictionary to him. Because it turns out, he’s pretty weird. Not him weird, which Gabriel, Dean and the two elder Milton’s are thankful for, but he says things like he doesn’t understand them. He makes comments without thinking it through.
The original thought was that he was going to grow out of it. So far, it doesn’t seem he would anytime soon. “Sam informed me of what their father does; he is the only one that could possibly read your mind. You should try John.” Castiel explains, like it’s the most obvious answer. But Gabriel’s still hung up on the fact that he was trying to call Dean with his mind, He’s not about to deny that his spent most of his morning thinking about the older Winchester boy.
It had continued on like that almost the entire year. They would call each other after every show, and then when they’re finally in the same town, they would never stop hanging out together. Which is surprising with Gabriel’s hormones, because the way it seems right now, there’s not a single morning where he is waking up with an extra member up too. It doesn’t subside when he is with Dean; it tingles in places he has never experienced before.
The first time he felt it, he thought he was sick (which isn’t surprising since Sam for some odd reason had cooked for them), so he had thought food poisoning, except this never went away. It grew, into something more than what he was expecting with his friendship with Dean, it’s not unwelcome, not anymore. He holds onto it every time their together, he laughs, teases, flirts, just because it makes him happy and Dean; Gabriel’s sure he has never seen a sexier smile than his.
“I’m not calling Dean with my mind.” Gabriel finally answers, “And if I could, I’d try to coax into one of the dancer sister’s panties. Maybe Anna’s, Ruby doesn’t seem the type to have pink.”
Castiel just makes a face at that. “I do not understand your fixation with Dean in pink underwear.”
“No, not just pink underwear, but pink silk underwear.” He grinned. “It’s not just a fixation, either. He totally told me he’d wear them for my birthday.”
Castiel shudders, shaking his head, his blue eyes go down to his toast, like his contemplating whether to eat it now or not. But Gabriel sees something in that look, there’s something deeper that has him groaning, rolling his head on his shoulders and shoving the sugary cereal away. “What, Cas?”
Castiel meets his eyes again, but this time, they’re cold and ridden with sympathy and that’s just a look he hasn’t seen in a long time. Not since Chuck had brought their newly adopted brother home. “Michael and Lucifer will not agree with you pursuing Dean as a companion.”
That statement almost has Gabriel out of his seat. He knows Cas isn’t stupid, but has he really been that obvious over his lusting and desperate need to be with the Winchester every waking day while they’re in the same town?
“If you are wondering ‘how is it obvious?’ it’s simple. You talk about him all the time; you stare at him like Michael stares at Anna. How that erotic storyteller, Becky stares at father.” Gabriel shudders, but Castiel just continues. “Michael has told Anna he is in love with her and I believe Becky has done the same to our father, though he does not seem that interested. Do you love Dean?”
Gabriel hesitates, he tries staring out the window again, tries to bury himself into his food, but there’s heat in his cheeks that he just knows he is a dead giveaway. “Why do you think Michael and Lucifer won’t agree? Besides the fact that Mikey already hates Dean and the current relationship I have with him. And with Lucy’s ‘big-bro’ crush on Michael and his undying need to please him?” He asks begrudgingly.
“Michael and Lucifer… have concerns that father had brought up one night when you were with Dean at the Mystery Spot. Sam and I over-heard them talking. Dad had come in, noticing you two playing and he was asking them questions.” Castiel says, but that’s when he stops. Not continuing any further and Gabriel hadn’t realized, but his stretching over the table, like his younger brother was whispering taboo words.
“Questions? Like what?”
“He believes…” Castiel starts, and this time he is whispering. Like Chuck, Michael and Lucifer can all hear them chat over their breakfast. “He believes you are seeking a sexual relationship with Dean. He was asking them if you were gay, if you were aware that you were embarrassing yourself in front of the entire company.”
“And… this is all based on because I like Dean and spend most of my time with him for a full two months?” Gabriel waited until he got a nod from Castiel before he let the anger show on his face. He pushed the bowl of cereal far off the table, ending in it crashing to the floor of the trailer. “What business is it of theirs if I do?! It’s not like Chuck has been around to raise us, or Michael’s even paid attention. Hell, even Lucifer’s gone cold fish since he hit puberty!”
Castiel doesn’t say anything, he buries his face into his toast again which is going cold since he hasn’t really touched it. Gabriel just huffs, leaning back on the chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m seventeen; you’d at least think they would let me live my own damn life.” He mutters, now going back to staring out the window. Dean’s standing out the front, talking to Anna which isn’t going to make Michael very happy or even put Dean in his good books for the remainder of the festival.
“You don’t embarrass yourself in front of the company.” Castiel supplies, trying his best to be helpful. “Everyone knows you have a certain… persona that we all love. It’s why you chose to be a Charee-varie.”
Gabriel rolls his eyes; that is far from the point of why he chose to be the Trickster of the carnival. It started with Dean, he had said that Gabriel was funny and if he enjoyed making people laugh and playing tricks on others so he should do that for his father’s circus. Michael and Lucifer only groaned at the idea, but they didn’t stop him. Chuck had nothing to do with his decision, but that’s never a surprise. “Everyone is starting to look like only a few, Cas.” He said, his voice not really holding any emotion.
“They don’t know what they’re missing.” Castiel smiles at him, pushing his cold toast towards Gabriel, then gets up to grab the honey before he gets a cloth to clean the soggy cereal off the ground.
“Aw, Cassy, I never knew you felt that way.” He gives a start of a smirk, putting a hand on his heart to feign flattery. “If you were older, had a bit of dirty blonde/brown hair and jade eyes, I’d totally tap you.”
“Thank you for ruining a sentimental moment.”
“You’re welcome.” Gabriel says around the bitten piece of cold toast that was more honey than toasted bread.
{----}
31/5/1996
“You’re doing good Dean, just keep your eye on your speed; you don’t want to end up in a car accident as your arrival.” John stated, gripping his seat belt a little tightly. It’s the first time he has let Dean drive the Impala across two states. Of course Dean’s been going over the speed limit, It’s that wonderful time of year and he gets to see Gabriel again. He’s had way too many dreams about the nineteen year old boy. Way too many.
But, he guesses that’s only because they’re best friends… of course, it doesn’t explain why he has been dreaming of kissing the smirking lips or touching that body that really hasn’t grown since he was fourteen, or to run his lips across the tanned… well, if he continues on this path he is going to actually crash them into something.
He just can’t keep his excitement.
Sam’s doing better than him; he is sitting patiently in the back seat, staring out the window. Dean think’s it’s because his younger brother hates his driving so much the only way to pretend that he isn’t the one driving is to stare out the window. Maybe their father should take a page out of his book, because pointing out how fast Dean is doing on an eighty highway isn’t going to do them any good.
“You should take it easy, Dean, really, there’s no rush.” John says again, his voice much softer and his glancing behind to look at Sam. Through the rearview mirror he can see both his father and brother exchange a glance. Odd, they rarely spoke without raised voices.
Of course, Dean knows why they only scream and yell at each other. Sam can’t help but blame him for the gift he inherited from their father. The visions, being able to speak with spirits; Sam Winchester is every bit their father and Dean’s the only one that knows how much he hates that. And if Dean was stronger, more confident, he’d yell and scream at John to for giving Sammy nightmares of people he didn’t know dying in his head.
As a sixteen year old, he just didn’t want to see his twelve year old brother go through that. He didn’t deserve it and he definitely didn’t need it. Sam’s had problems since his birth. There not big, but his sick, not dying sick either. Just something he always has to live with. Something they have to keep an eye on and now with the added visions that seem to drain him more than John, they have to be extra careful.
The first time Sam had gotten a vision, they knew something was wrong. He had fallen onto the ground while he and Dean sat on the phone talking to Castiel and Gabriel. He began screaming, grasping his head and flailing about like he was trying to knock himself out. Gabriel and Castiel’s loud demands for what was going on were lost in the background as Dean fumbled to pull his brother to his arms. Sam had only been seven while Dean was only eleven.
John had come rushing in only after hearing the screams and quickly hauled both his boys into the Impala and drove as fast as he could to the nearest hospital. Blood had begun dripping from both Sam’s ear and nose. It was a bloody mess by the time they reached the nearest emergency centre, the back seat was stained and to Dean’s surprise, John hadn’t complained about it.
Sam had been sent straight into the ER, where nurses and doctor rushed around him before the young Winchester was taken away on one of the beds and disappeared between the double doors. Through all the worry, Dean cracked into hysterics after realizing Gabriel and Castiel were still shouting out his name to come back to the phone. John just puts an arm around him, comforting him as his little brother gets every test possible.
Dean can’t remember how long it was that they had been waiting in one of the wards, John had gone off, probably talking to some spirit to see what had happened. Dean had never once left the seat or even fallen asleep. He needed to be prepared for when Sam came walking out.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. Instead, a stubby, hairy doctor came walking out, taking a glance to Dean then looking around the rest of the small ward for the father. Dean just tells the doctor-whose name is Dr. Robert Singer but he allows Dean to call him Bobby-that his father needed air. So Bobby sighs, leans down and gestures for Dean to sit down.
What he gets told, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, more so to him than anything. He is not sure he’s meant to understand what ‘von Willebrand disease’ (or vWD for short) was. It’s not that Bobby hadn’t explained it well, because in truth he has. It’s a form of blood disease that has no explanation of cause. The medical staff that treated Sam can see he has the disease, but the problem is, the cells seemed to have formed by themselves over time.
They had demanded a blood test from both Dean and John and it only caused more questions. Neither Winchester has it except for Sam. Dean knows it’s because of the special gift that his beginning to hate with each day that passes.
“Are you going straight to Gabriel’s when we get there?” Sam asks, his voice pulling Dean out of memories that he never wanted to visit again.
“Yeah, why? Want me to tell Castiel you rather listen to Spice Girls?” He asked, with a smirk on his lips. John makes a sound beside him and the smirk’s taken away and replaced by a frown. “What’s up with you two?”
“Dean, pull over for a moment.” John says, sadly. And now Dean can’t help but think something’s happened to Gabriel that makes a panic begin to rise in his chest.
“No! Tell me what it is, what’s happened?”
“Nothing’s happened, Dean.” Sam answers, his voice is sad as well and oh, god, he is beginning to hyperventilate.
“Stop the car, son.” John commands and this time Dean does. Behind him, Sam’s shifting, placing his face in between his and John’s, staring at him with big brown eyes and a sour puppy dog look.
“It hasn’t happened yet, well not exactly.” Sam starts, shifting again, a clear sign that he’s hesitating with the words which is only making Dean’s blood boil. “Michael and Lucifer have sort of been feeding Gabriel lies. And trust me; he didn’t believe them for a long time. But… Gabriel sort came out to them. Last year. Cas told me they didn’t exactly take it well. You know how they are… Lucifer was the worst, he screamed at Gabriel, calling him a freak and all.
“Michael… He just told Gabriel that he was disappointed, that he had raised him to be better than that. He even had the nerve to ask Gabriel who and why he felt like this… He answered with you.” Sam gave another look to Dean, but he couldn’t register it. Sure, he knew Michael and Lucifer were extremely religious, sure he knew they were over protective of Gabriel and really, just him only. But he never thought they would shun their own brother. Was he really the cause of it? Sure they flirted, but even though he had wished for it, he never thought it could’ve been anything more.
“Why are you telling me this?” Dean whispered, John had moved out the front, standing outside and leaning against the Impala’s bonnet. When did he leave the car?
“Because… in five minutes, they’re going to tell Gabriel that you manipulated him into feeling what he does. That you lied about not having psychic abilities and the fact that you take joy in seeing Gabriel jump through hoops for you. They’re going to tell him that I told Cas who in turn told them…” Sam stops for a moment and Dean turns to him, a glaring, saddened question in his eyes which only makes the younger Winchester continue. “Gabriel… he doesn’t mean it, I promise. But you have to understand, this entire year hasn’t been easy for him. Which…”
Dean drones Sam’s voice out, he can’t hear anymore, can’t listen to a single word, because he doesn’t want it to be true, it can’t be true. Sure, Gabriel had rung less and less throughout the year, but he was eighteen, beginning to start as a Charee-varie finally after a hell of a lot of convincing on his own. It had been the young Milton boy’s dream and he followed it. So that’s the only reason why he had thought that they didn’t talk much over the winter. No, instead, Gabriel was slowly falling prey to his brother’s words.
Before John could even get back into the car, Dean turned the ignition and high-tailed towards the field, the Ferris Wheel showing up in the distance and that’s what he needed to see as he pressed pressure to the accelerator. He could stop Michael and Lucifer from taking Gabriel away from him, he could and he wasn’t going to let them stop him from seeing the Milton. Not after what he knows now, because the secret he’s been keeping is returned in the fullest.
As soon as they reach the field, Dean slams on the breaks, the car shrieking to a halt and he jumps out of the car, racing towards where he knows the Milton trailer is always parked. Castiel’s standing out front, looking awkward and sad at the same time, and thank God he has begun to talk, because as soon as crystal blue eyes find Dean, Castiel is stepping forwards, trying to stop the older Winchester.
“Dean, stop, you can’t-“ Whatever Cas was about to say, Dean pushes him-which he’ll no need apologise for after he sees Gabriel-and opens the door to the trailer. There’s screams coming from both the front of him and behind him. Everything is a blur from there for Dean now, everything blending into one image of faces and voices.
What shoves him out of that daze is Gabriel pushing him backwards, forcing him to stumble down the trailer steps as he is hitting his head hard against the ground.
“Get out!” Gabriel shouts, truly angry shouts that are something Dean has never heard before. Michael shouts at times, hell even Castiel a few times, but Gabriel’s never shouted. He’s ‘the quiet angry’ type, the type that uses his glares to get the point that his angry across.
“Gabriel,” Castiel starts, but it’s swiftly cut off when Gabriel sends his younger brother a glare and a clear ‘shut the fuck up!’
“Did you enjoy playing puppet-master, Dean?!” Gabriel questions him with hard cold stare, Dean doesn’t make a sound, he just stares up at his best friend, confused. “Making me feel, forcing me to like you! How long have you been messing with me?”
Dean isn’t sure how to answer, he’s not sure he can because he’s innocent and Gabriel’s not going to see that. But then again, Dean’s a loud, expressive angry person, so once he swallows his fears, he stares up at Gabriel, setting a challenge. “You honestly think that!? That I’d play you for kicks?”
“Why not?” Gabriel retorts, he’s not leaving the doorway of his trailer. Michael and Lucifer are behind him, standing on either side of their younger brother, like a fucking angel and devil perched on Gabriel’s shoulders. “Half of the shit you tell me what I should do, I end up doing it! Why do you think that is?”
Dean begins a series of blinks again, because Gabriel can’t be serious. But the look he’s reading all over the elder boy is tense and in all matters, serious. “Because, who do you think knows you better than you know yourself? Besides Cas? Me, Gabriel! Me! I’ve been you’re best friend since you were eight! What you tell me, you don’t tell anyone else, Gabriel, you said that yourself! That you can’t talk to your brothers about stuff because they won’t get it. Or even Cas because you’re afraid you’re going to have to explain everything!”
Behind Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer’s looks turn darker, the smugness they were wearing before slowly dropping. Even Castiel looks a little hurt, but it’s nothing but the truth to what Gabriel has told him.
“You told me you can’t trust anyone else because they just won’t understand. You don’t want your father to come home, you’re afraid that someone’s going to take Cas away from you. That Lucifer might run away with the reptile keeper and that Michael is going to kick you out of the show.” He tells Gabriel and it’s meant to prove a point to him, it’s meant to show that he does know more about Gabriel than he probably should.
Unfortunately, his plan doesn’t work and instead, the older boy walks down the steps, while the look on his face is far darker than he’s ever seen before. It’s a look that’s not going to help him get to his feet or a look that’s going to make him feel better. Gabriel leans over him and when his speaks; his voice is nothing but a harsh whisper.
“How am I meant to know that wasn’t you pulling those things out of me? Don’t answer it! Just… stay away from me.”
By the time John arrives after running to catch up with his two sons, Dean’s trying his hardest not to show how broken he is inside.
Part Two
Author: sevenbee
Beta: moosikins
Artisit: reapertownusa
Genre: Carnival setting, drama, angst, romance
Spoilers/Warnings: All human, character death
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Gabriel Milton, Castiel Novak/Sam Winchester, one sided Balthazar/Dean Winchester, John Winchester and Lucifer Milton with mentions of Anna/Michael Milton, Becky/Chuck Milton, Bobby Singer and Ruby
Summary: The carnival in La Crosse was the most popular, even though they never had any fireworks.
Word Count: 10,979
Disclaimer: I own nothing… it’s something I seriously need to work on
Notes: Written for the debriel_miniBang. Please check out the awesome Art Masterpost by the amazingreapertownusa and leave a comment! Apologies for it in two parts, LiveJournal is under the impression it's too large.
31/5/1987
There’s only ever been one thing Dean Winchester looks forward to once a year. La Crosse, Wisconsin. The town’s culture is amazing to be a part of, there’s no doubt, but it’s also a person in particular that stays in La Crosse during June and July. Someone that doesn’t travel the same route as the Winchesters, but every year, they always meet up. Same place, same time. The sense of familiar trees surround the Impala on the no-where road, Dean can feel excitement bubble in his stomach.
It’s been exactly a year since he had seen Gabriel Milton. Of course, it’s been a year since they were in La Crosse, but Dean doesn’t care for that. He never really has. When they’re not in La Crosse, he is not happy; he just stays in the trailer waiting for his father to be done with the group of people that want to know what their dead family members are doing.
He’s not sympathetic to those people, though he should be, but he just can’t find the emotions to make him nice to the ones that come knocking on the trailer door asking for ‘John Winchester, Medium and helper.’ Dean just tells them to shove their curious minds up their ass and slams the door shut, returning to a sleeping Sam’s side.
Dean’s rude when he’s not around Gabriel, he doesn’t care about what his father does when they’re in the middle of no-where with people always prying at them. He had honestly thought to tell his father that they should stop traveling and give Sam a real chance at a home. The kid was two and all he’s going to know are unfamiliar faces. John had always had a way of changing Dean’s mind, however, a subtle reminder that next month of June, which equaled to one more week of being in this dead-beat town and they’d be on the road to Wisconsin.
It’s a cheap shot, but it always worked in the end. And every time Dean got tired of traveling around the country it’s usually a week before seeing Gabriel. Once he was reminded of the fact, he’d smile and he shut up about stopping. He never shut up when talking about what Gabriel was planning for them to do this year.
The carnival in La Crosse was the most popular, even though they never had any fireworks (which were Dean’s personal favorite). John was given his own trailer for his readings, which was good for them, it meant Dean and Sam didn’t have to leave the trailer while the readings were going on. Not that it’d be hard to force Dean out of the trailer in La Crosse, Sammy always following in tow. Chuck-Gabriel’s never-there father-had provided them with the extra trailer. He didn’t run the carnival, but he might as well with everything he does for it.
The Milton family always performed in the large tent in the centre of the field. Of course, Gabriel doesn’t, not yet. According to Chuck he is still too young to do anything, (he’s ten, so it’s understandable) so really the only two performers of the family are Michael and Lucifer. They’re Gabriel’s older brothers and Dean’s seen them more than he has seen Chuck. Gabriel says he doesn’t mind being raised by his older brothers, but Dean knows him well enough that that’s a cover.
Michael is used to being the father figure to both Lucifer and Gabriel, If Dean wasn’t slightly afraid of the older teenager; he might manage a conversation with him. When he had first met Michael and Lucifer, he had thought Lucifer was terrifying, but he supposed that was the trick with the Milton family. Michael looked nice, but he was protective of his two younger siblings. Lucifer looked scary, he was all muscles, but who would have thought that Gabriel was closer with Lucifer and could get him to steal things for Dean.
Then there was Castiel. Castiel Novak. Chuck had adopted him from God knows where. Not even Gabriel knew, but all of a sudden, he was just there and Michael was made to look after him. From what Gabriel had been told about the young, blue eyed, dark haired boy, was that his home life was abusive. His father was a drunk, bottles in each hand and swinging them at Cas. From this abuse his mother had been driven mad and apparently she now lives in a high security psychiatric ward.
It’s sad; really, Cas is mute. He doesn’t speak; his face is always a blank. But the sparkling blue eyes in him always shows that his interested in the conversation. Gabriel had taken to the four year old, just like he had Dean.
This year, they’re going to introduce Cas to Sam. It had been Gabriel’s idea, saying it was like play date for the two younger boys. Gabriel got to be in charge of what the plan was and Dean got to be the warden that got to watch them. Make sure that they’re happy and that Sam doesn’t talk Cas to death. The plan was for the adopted Novak to begin to speak, to interact with someone other than his own mind and mirror image.
In the distance, the field covered in the warm summer sunshine was ahead. Dean began to shift and get impatient in the passenger seat and John smiled to him. “Dean, at least wait until I stop the car.” John mused, giving a light chuckle.
“Hurry up!” Dean laughed before he turned in the seat to stare into the brown iris’ of his brother. “You excited Sammy? Gabriel and I are going to set up a play date for you.”
“Can’t I jus’ play with you and Gabe?” Sam asked his voice tired and shy.
“You’re getting to old to tag along with us. You need to have a friend of your own.” Dean told him.
“O-kay.” Sam sighed. “But what if I don’t like him?”
“Trust me; you might not even get the chance to not-like him. You just have to be nice and see if you get him to talk.”
“Why? Doesn’t he have a voice?”
Dean laughed again. “He does… well, at least we think.” That had never crossed his mind before, all the attempts they did to see if Cas could actually talk could have been impossible. All this time, it could just be nothing.
The Impala’s engine was beginning to hum quietly and it was slowing down. Dean shifted in his seat again, turning around to face the wind-shield. His hands ready to grab at the door. The moment the car halts, Dean swings the door open, jumping out of the car before John could even turn the engine off. The eight-year-old boy begins to run around the car and towards the Milton trailer he knows is near the animal field.
He looks past the sun, squinting as he makes out the few shadows that surround the camels. He can make out Lucifer, the tallest of the boys, feeding the camels. Lucifer must notice him to, because he can hear the teen calling out for Gabriel. It just makes the grin already on Dean’s face spread wider. The Milton trailer door slams open and Gabriel’s grinning and waiting with his arms open that Dean runs straight into.
Or, that was what was meant to happen. Dean never made it to Gabriel’s arms before he ran into a group of people. He landed down on the ground, flat on his back, eyes dancing along the sky, getting blinded by the sun. It took him a moment to notice what had happened and he struggled to focus his vision on the people huddled around him.
“You okay, kid?” A man asked while a woman said “Sweetie?”
Gabriel’s amused chuckle was a low background sound, but it’s what Dean focused on. He gave the people a nod of his head, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.
“He’s okay. Just excited.” Gabriel answered them, the laugh still evident in his tone. “Deano, here is uncoordinated. He’s also blind.”
Dean sent the older boy a glare at the comment and in return he got the laugh again.
“Go on, there’s nothing to see.” Gabriel shooed the people away, flicking his wrists to send them in the direction of the large tent. Then turning around to steal Dean’s arm and drag him towards the Milton trailer. “You should run into people more often, it’s a lot more fun after not seeing you for a year.”
“Maybe for you. That hurt.” Dean deadpanned. Gabriel had dragged him over to sit on a stack of hay where he was seated; he could hear Lucifer and Michael’s laughter. Laughing at him of course.
“That could be your talent. Boy who continuously runs into people.” Gabriel grinned.
“And what would yours be?” Dean asked, interested in the answer.
“Boy who laughs at boy who continuously runs into people.”
“Of course.” There was a fall of silence before Gabriel wrapped his arms around Dean’s chest tightly. He gasped as air was suddenly cut off to his lungs. “Gab-Gabriel...” Gabriel pulled away, nodding his head and giving an apologetic look.
“Sorry.” He murmured, but he still smiled.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you missed me.” Dean chuckled, with the added childish smile.
Gabriel’s face quickly changed and he shook his head. “Nah-uh.”
“Yah-uh.”
Dean smirked brightly at the older boy and in return he just got a glare. It was a joke, they both knew that; they would never meet in the eleven months they don’t spend together, they spend it missing each other. And as he looks into those childish hazel eyes, he can see the extent of it.
“So, I told Sammy about your little plan.” Dean began, after a beat. “He’s not sure whether Cas is going to like him or not.”
“Pfft, who knows if Cas really likes any of us. I’m sure he and Sam will get along like a unicycle and a monkey.” Gabriel snorted.
Dean just laughed, “Michael still won’t let you have a monkey?”
“No,” Gabriel frowned; kicking at his feet for a moment, Dean knows it’s a subject that the older boy doesn’t want to bring up. It’s not Michael that that is keeping Gabriel from having something for an act, but Chuck. Even though he’s not around, he still seems to control the Milton boys lives. He doesn’t see it, and he will never understand that. There was a shadow behind Gabriel, too short to be the older boy and a little taller to be Sam. It only left for one other person.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean greeted, but he only got silence in return.
“Um, how are you?” Dean tried.
Castiel gave a somewhat response by shrugging his shoulders which was what everyone got when they spoke to the mute-boy. Gabriel wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulders, giving him a squeeze. In all the four years that Dean has known Gabriel, he can see small flickers of both Michael and Lucifer in him, the protective and willingness to do anything for his younger brother. Dean has known since Cas had been dropped off, that Gabriel’s taken to the big brother role, it never had to be said because it’s very obvious.
“Where’s Sammy? We should light this candle!” Gabriel bounced onto his toes, giving Dean a big smirk and another squeeze of Castiel’s shoulders, in a clear sign of reassurance. All they could do with introducing their two younger brothers to one another was hope they would get along and leave them alone. As fun as it was to hang out with Sam; he always ran off and went into places he wasn’t meant to. John had called him curious, but Dean sees it annoying to continue to have to watch out for him.
As for Cas… Dean just doesn’t know how to act around a kid that never talked and only interacted with shrugs. If anyone could pull the dark haired kid out of his silence, it had to be Sam. Dean got to his feet then and began to lead them towards the area where he knew Sam would be. Their trailer was always in the same spot, beside the tent that had the large words ‘Mystery Spot’ entitled to it. For some reason its Gabriel’s favorite place to play in.
He can guess why; Gabriel’s what some would call weird, he prefers the life at the carnival over the ‘normal kids’ that attend school and grow up to have futures. Or again, as the youngest Milton puts it ‘the road to ruining and having a completely boring life.’ Dean doesn’t think it’d be that boring, he is curious though. He wants to know what it must be like not to have to travel around the country and what it’d be like to see the same people every day for the rest of your life.
Gabriel just doesn’t understand what Dean is talking about; after all, the kid is ten and thinks that travelling around the country is how everyone should live their life. Somehow, Dean knows that if Gabriel was ever given the opportunity to stay in one place, he’d run away. Gabriel just doesn’t stay in one place. Literally.
“Sammy, get out here.” Dean calls through the metal of the trailer as they approach it. “Hurry up; Cas isn’t going to wait forever.”
The door opens only a fraction and they can just see the mop of hair that always covers the boy’s head through the crack he made. “What if he doesn’t… you know, want to play with me?” Sam mumbles.
When Dean turns around to give Castiel a glance, he’s hiding behind Gabriel like Sam is some monster in his closet.
“Of course he wants to play with you, Sam. Just give it a go.” Dean steps forward, reaching into the darkness to grab Sam’s hand and pulls him out to stand in front of Gabriel and Castiel.
There are a lot of glances, mumbled words before they stand together. Castiel looks more interested, probably to have a child closer to his age and maybe someone he can look after. After all, you don’t have three older brothers without learning to protect someone younger.
To Gabriel and Dean’s surprise, they actually get along, Sam’s talking about something he read (or made up) to Cas and they seem so interested in one another that both boys smile widely at each other. They share food-well, Castiel is putting his food onto Sam’s plate with no words, but it still counts. It makes both the older boys feel happy, they decide to leave their siblings together, playing out front of Milton trailer.
“Good job, Gabby.”
“Thank you, Deanie.”
“It’s Deanna, thank you very much.”
“I’m sorry, Deanna.”
“No problem, Gabrielle.”
{----}
9/6/1994
It was bound to happen, he had watched his older brother’s go through this stage-though there is a big difference between what is happening while he stares out the window of the trailer, idly playing with his morning sugary cereal and trying to conceal his morning erection. He is thankful that Lucifer had already left to feed his grand-prize animals and Michael’s out trying to talk to their father. The only one left at the table inside the trailer is Castiel and he still plays dumb about it.
“I don’t think Dean can read minds.” The brunette comments, which snaps Gabriel out of his reverie and turns to just gawk at Castiel.
“What?” He says, distractedly.
“Dean. I don’t think he can read your mind. Well, through the window, at least.”
“What makes you say that?” Now Gabriel’s curious; getting Cas to learn how to talk was a good thing, but he kind of wishes that Sam hadn’t read the entire dictionary to him. Because it turns out, he’s pretty weird. Not him weird, which Gabriel, Dean and the two elder Milton’s are thankful for, but he says things like he doesn’t understand them. He makes comments without thinking it through.
The original thought was that he was going to grow out of it. So far, it doesn’t seem he would anytime soon. “Sam informed me of what their father does; he is the only one that could possibly read your mind. You should try John.” Castiel explains, like it’s the most obvious answer. But Gabriel’s still hung up on the fact that he was trying to call Dean with his mind, He’s not about to deny that his spent most of his morning thinking about the older Winchester boy.
It had continued on like that almost the entire year. They would call each other after every show, and then when they’re finally in the same town, they would never stop hanging out together. Which is surprising with Gabriel’s hormones, because the way it seems right now, there’s not a single morning where he is waking up with an extra member up too. It doesn’t subside when he is with Dean; it tingles in places he has never experienced before.
The first time he felt it, he thought he was sick (which isn’t surprising since Sam for some odd reason had cooked for them), so he had thought food poisoning, except this never went away. It grew, into something more than what he was expecting with his friendship with Dean, it’s not unwelcome, not anymore. He holds onto it every time their together, he laughs, teases, flirts, just because it makes him happy and Dean; Gabriel’s sure he has never seen a sexier smile than his.
“I’m not calling Dean with my mind.” Gabriel finally answers, “And if I could, I’d try to coax into one of the dancer sister’s panties. Maybe Anna’s, Ruby doesn’t seem the type to have pink.”
Castiel just makes a face at that. “I do not understand your fixation with Dean in pink underwear.”
“No, not just pink underwear, but pink silk underwear.” He grinned. “It’s not just a fixation, either. He totally told me he’d wear them for my birthday.”
Castiel shudders, shaking his head, his blue eyes go down to his toast, like his contemplating whether to eat it now or not. But Gabriel sees something in that look, there’s something deeper that has him groaning, rolling his head on his shoulders and shoving the sugary cereal away. “What, Cas?”
Castiel meets his eyes again, but this time, they’re cold and ridden with sympathy and that’s just a look he hasn’t seen in a long time. Not since Chuck had brought their newly adopted brother home. “Michael and Lucifer will not agree with you pursuing Dean as a companion.”
That statement almost has Gabriel out of his seat. He knows Cas isn’t stupid, but has he really been that obvious over his lusting and desperate need to be with the Winchester every waking day while they’re in the same town?
“If you are wondering ‘how is it obvious?’ it’s simple. You talk about him all the time; you stare at him like Michael stares at Anna. How that erotic storyteller, Becky stares at father.” Gabriel shudders, but Castiel just continues. “Michael has told Anna he is in love with her and I believe Becky has done the same to our father, though he does not seem that interested. Do you love Dean?”
Gabriel hesitates, he tries staring out the window again, tries to bury himself into his food, but there’s heat in his cheeks that he just knows he is a dead giveaway. “Why do you think Michael and Lucifer won’t agree? Besides the fact that Mikey already hates Dean and the current relationship I have with him. And with Lucy’s ‘big-bro’ crush on Michael and his undying need to please him?” He asks begrudgingly.
“Michael and Lucifer… have concerns that father had brought up one night when you were with Dean at the Mystery Spot. Sam and I over-heard them talking. Dad had come in, noticing you two playing and he was asking them questions.” Castiel says, but that’s when he stops. Not continuing any further and Gabriel hadn’t realized, but his stretching over the table, like his younger brother was whispering taboo words.
“Questions? Like what?”
“He believes…” Castiel starts, and this time he is whispering. Like Chuck, Michael and Lucifer can all hear them chat over their breakfast. “He believes you are seeking a sexual relationship with Dean. He was asking them if you were gay, if you were aware that you were embarrassing yourself in front of the entire company.”
“And… this is all based on because I like Dean and spend most of my time with him for a full two months?” Gabriel waited until he got a nod from Castiel before he let the anger show on his face. He pushed the bowl of cereal far off the table, ending in it crashing to the floor of the trailer. “What business is it of theirs if I do?! It’s not like Chuck has been around to raise us, or Michael’s even paid attention. Hell, even Lucifer’s gone cold fish since he hit puberty!”
Castiel doesn’t say anything, he buries his face into his toast again which is going cold since he hasn’t really touched it. Gabriel just huffs, leaning back on the chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m seventeen; you’d at least think they would let me live my own damn life.” He mutters, now going back to staring out the window. Dean’s standing out the front, talking to Anna which isn’t going to make Michael very happy or even put Dean in his good books for the remainder of the festival.
“You don’t embarrass yourself in front of the company.” Castiel supplies, trying his best to be helpful. “Everyone knows you have a certain… persona that we all love. It’s why you chose to be a Charee-varie.”
Gabriel rolls his eyes; that is far from the point of why he chose to be the Trickster of the carnival. It started with Dean, he had said that Gabriel was funny and if he enjoyed making people laugh and playing tricks on others so he should do that for his father’s circus. Michael and Lucifer only groaned at the idea, but they didn’t stop him. Chuck had nothing to do with his decision, but that’s never a surprise. “Everyone is starting to look like only a few, Cas.” He said, his voice not really holding any emotion.
“They don’t know what they’re missing.” Castiel smiles at him, pushing his cold toast towards Gabriel, then gets up to grab the honey before he gets a cloth to clean the soggy cereal off the ground.
“Aw, Cassy, I never knew you felt that way.” He gives a start of a smirk, putting a hand on his heart to feign flattery. “If you were older, had a bit of dirty blonde/brown hair and jade eyes, I’d totally tap you.”
“Thank you for ruining a sentimental moment.”
“You’re welcome.” Gabriel says around the bitten piece of cold toast that was more honey than toasted bread.
{----}
31/5/1996
“You’re doing good Dean, just keep your eye on your speed; you don’t want to end up in a car accident as your arrival.” John stated, gripping his seat belt a little tightly. It’s the first time he has let Dean drive the Impala across two states. Of course Dean’s been going over the speed limit, It’s that wonderful time of year and he gets to see Gabriel again. He’s had way too many dreams about the nineteen year old boy. Way too many.
But, he guesses that’s only because they’re best friends… of course, it doesn’t explain why he has been dreaming of kissing the smirking lips or touching that body that really hasn’t grown since he was fourteen, or to run his lips across the tanned… well, if he continues on this path he is going to actually crash them into something.
He just can’t keep his excitement.
Sam’s doing better than him; he is sitting patiently in the back seat, staring out the window. Dean think’s it’s because his younger brother hates his driving so much the only way to pretend that he isn’t the one driving is to stare out the window. Maybe their father should take a page out of his book, because pointing out how fast Dean is doing on an eighty highway isn’t going to do them any good.
“You should take it easy, Dean, really, there’s no rush.” John says again, his voice much softer and his glancing behind to look at Sam. Through the rearview mirror he can see both his father and brother exchange a glance. Odd, they rarely spoke without raised voices.
Of course, Dean knows why they only scream and yell at each other. Sam can’t help but blame him for the gift he inherited from their father. The visions, being able to speak with spirits; Sam Winchester is every bit their father and Dean’s the only one that knows how much he hates that. And if Dean was stronger, more confident, he’d yell and scream at John to for giving Sammy nightmares of people he didn’t know dying in his head.
As a sixteen year old, he just didn’t want to see his twelve year old brother go through that. He didn’t deserve it and he definitely didn’t need it. Sam’s had problems since his birth. There not big, but his sick, not dying sick either. Just something he always has to live with. Something they have to keep an eye on and now with the added visions that seem to drain him more than John, they have to be extra careful.
The first time Sam had gotten a vision, they knew something was wrong. He had fallen onto the ground while he and Dean sat on the phone talking to Castiel and Gabriel. He began screaming, grasping his head and flailing about like he was trying to knock himself out. Gabriel and Castiel’s loud demands for what was going on were lost in the background as Dean fumbled to pull his brother to his arms. Sam had only been seven while Dean was only eleven.
John had come rushing in only after hearing the screams and quickly hauled both his boys into the Impala and drove as fast as he could to the nearest hospital. Blood had begun dripping from both Sam’s ear and nose. It was a bloody mess by the time they reached the nearest emergency centre, the back seat was stained and to Dean’s surprise, John hadn’t complained about it.
Sam had been sent straight into the ER, where nurses and doctor rushed around him before the young Winchester was taken away on one of the beds and disappeared between the double doors. Through all the worry, Dean cracked into hysterics after realizing Gabriel and Castiel were still shouting out his name to come back to the phone. John just puts an arm around him, comforting him as his little brother gets every test possible.
Dean can’t remember how long it was that they had been waiting in one of the wards, John had gone off, probably talking to some spirit to see what had happened. Dean had never once left the seat or even fallen asleep. He needed to be prepared for when Sam came walking out.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. Instead, a stubby, hairy doctor came walking out, taking a glance to Dean then looking around the rest of the small ward for the father. Dean just tells the doctor-whose name is Dr. Robert Singer but he allows Dean to call him Bobby-that his father needed air. So Bobby sighs, leans down and gestures for Dean to sit down.
What he gets told, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, more so to him than anything. He is not sure he’s meant to understand what ‘von Willebrand disease’ (or vWD for short) was. It’s not that Bobby hadn’t explained it well, because in truth he has. It’s a form of blood disease that has no explanation of cause. The medical staff that treated Sam can see he has the disease, but the problem is, the cells seemed to have formed by themselves over time.
They had demanded a blood test from both Dean and John and it only caused more questions. Neither Winchester has it except for Sam. Dean knows it’s because of the special gift that his beginning to hate with each day that passes.
“Are you going straight to Gabriel’s when we get there?” Sam asks, his voice pulling Dean out of memories that he never wanted to visit again.
“Yeah, why? Want me to tell Castiel you rather listen to Spice Girls?” He asked, with a smirk on his lips. John makes a sound beside him and the smirk’s taken away and replaced by a frown. “What’s up with you two?”
“Dean, pull over for a moment.” John says, sadly. And now Dean can’t help but think something’s happened to Gabriel that makes a panic begin to rise in his chest.
“No! Tell me what it is, what’s happened?”
“Nothing’s happened, Dean.” Sam answers, his voice is sad as well and oh, god, he is beginning to hyperventilate.
“Stop the car, son.” John commands and this time Dean does. Behind him, Sam’s shifting, placing his face in between his and John’s, staring at him with big brown eyes and a sour puppy dog look.
“It hasn’t happened yet, well not exactly.” Sam starts, shifting again, a clear sign that he’s hesitating with the words which is only making Dean’s blood boil. “Michael and Lucifer have sort of been feeding Gabriel lies. And trust me; he didn’t believe them for a long time. But… Gabriel sort came out to them. Last year. Cas told me they didn’t exactly take it well. You know how they are… Lucifer was the worst, he screamed at Gabriel, calling him a freak and all.
“Michael… He just told Gabriel that he was disappointed, that he had raised him to be better than that. He even had the nerve to ask Gabriel who and why he felt like this… He answered with you.” Sam gave another look to Dean, but he couldn’t register it. Sure, he knew Michael and Lucifer were extremely religious, sure he knew they were over protective of Gabriel and really, just him only. But he never thought they would shun their own brother. Was he really the cause of it? Sure they flirted, but even though he had wished for it, he never thought it could’ve been anything more.
“Why are you telling me this?” Dean whispered, John had moved out the front, standing outside and leaning against the Impala’s bonnet. When did he leave the car?
“Because… in five minutes, they’re going to tell Gabriel that you manipulated him into feeling what he does. That you lied about not having psychic abilities and the fact that you take joy in seeing Gabriel jump through hoops for you. They’re going to tell him that I told Cas who in turn told them…” Sam stops for a moment and Dean turns to him, a glaring, saddened question in his eyes which only makes the younger Winchester continue. “Gabriel… he doesn’t mean it, I promise. But you have to understand, this entire year hasn’t been easy for him. Which…”
Dean drones Sam’s voice out, he can’t hear anymore, can’t listen to a single word, because he doesn’t want it to be true, it can’t be true. Sure, Gabriel had rung less and less throughout the year, but he was eighteen, beginning to start as a Charee-varie finally after a hell of a lot of convincing on his own. It had been the young Milton boy’s dream and he followed it. So that’s the only reason why he had thought that they didn’t talk much over the winter. No, instead, Gabriel was slowly falling prey to his brother’s words.
Before John could even get back into the car, Dean turned the ignition and high-tailed towards the field, the Ferris Wheel showing up in the distance and that’s what he needed to see as he pressed pressure to the accelerator. He could stop Michael and Lucifer from taking Gabriel away from him, he could and he wasn’t going to let them stop him from seeing the Milton. Not after what he knows now, because the secret he’s been keeping is returned in the fullest.
As soon as they reach the field, Dean slams on the breaks, the car shrieking to a halt and he jumps out of the car, racing towards where he knows the Milton trailer is always parked. Castiel’s standing out front, looking awkward and sad at the same time, and thank God he has begun to talk, because as soon as crystal blue eyes find Dean, Castiel is stepping forwards, trying to stop the older Winchester.
“Dean, stop, you can’t-“ Whatever Cas was about to say, Dean pushes him-which he’ll no need apologise for after he sees Gabriel-and opens the door to the trailer. There’s screams coming from both the front of him and behind him. Everything is a blur from there for Dean now, everything blending into one image of faces and voices.
What shoves him out of that daze is Gabriel pushing him backwards, forcing him to stumble down the trailer steps as he is hitting his head hard against the ground.
“Get out!” Gabriel shouts, truly angry shouts that are something Dean has never heard before. Michael shouts at times, hell even Castiel a few times, but Gabriel’s never shouted. He’s ‘the quiet angry’ type, the type that uses his glares to get the point that his angry across.
“Gabriel,” Castiel starts, but it’s swiftly cut off when Gabriel sends his younger brother a glare and a clear ‘shut the fuck up!’
“Did you enjoy playing puppet-master, Dean?!” Gabriel questions him with hard cold stare, Dean doesn’t make a sound, he just stares up at his best friend, confused. “Making me feel, forcing me to like you! How long have you been messing with me?”
Dean isn’t sure how to answer, he’s not sure he can because he’s innocent and Gabriel’s not going to see that. But then again, Dean’s a loud, expressive angry person, so once he swallows his fears, he stares up at Gabriel, setting a challenge. “You honestly think that!? That I’d play you for kicks?”
“Why not?” Gabriel retorts, he’s not leaving the doorway of his trailer. Michael and Lucifer are behind him, standing on either side of their younger brother, like a fucking angel and devil perched on Gabriel’s shoulders. “Half of the shit you tell me what I should do, I end up doing it! Why do you think that is?”
Dean begins a series of blinks again, because Gabriel can’t be serious. But the look he’s reading all over the elder boy is tense and in all matters, serious. “Because, who do you think knows you better than you know yourself? Besides Cas? Me, Gabriel! Me! I’ve been you’re best friend since you were eight! What you tell me, you don’t tell anyone else, Gabriel, you said that yourself! That you can’t talk to your brothers about stuff because they won’t get it. Or even Cas because you’re afraid you’re going to have to explain everything!”
Behind Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer’s looks turn darker, the smugness they were wearing before slowly dropping. Even Castiel looks a little hurt, but it’s nothing but the truth to what Gabriel has told him.
“You told me you can’t trust anyone else because they just won’t understand. You don’t want your father to come home, you’re afraid that someone’s going to take Cas away from you. That Lucifer might run away with the reptile keeper and that Michael is going to kick you out of the show.” He tells Gabriel and it’s meant to prove a point to him, it’s meant to show that he does know more about Gabriel than he probably should.
Unfortunately, his plan doesn’t work and instead, the older boy walks down the steps, while the look on his face is far darker than he’s ever seen before. It’s a look that’s not going to help him get to his feet or a look that’s going to make him feel better. Gabriel leans over him and when his speaks; his voice is nothing but a harsh whisper.
“How am I meant to know that wasn’t you pulling those things out of me? Don’t answer it! Just… stay away from me.”
By the time John arrives after running to catch up with his two sons, Dean’s trying his hardest not to show how broken he is inside.
Part Two