dampersnspoons - Delust or Dust 13/?
Title: Delust or Dust
Rating: NC-17 for adult language and sexual situations
Warnings: Graphic sex (eventually) Probably blood play. And foul-mouthedness
Season/Pairing: BtVS Season 3, Buffy/Spike, Willow/Oz, Xander/Cordelia, Angel/his discontent, Giles/missing spatula
Spoilers: Starts with the episode Lover's Walk, so anything up until that point could be mentioned. Some lines from the episode will be used in this fic.
Genre(s): Comedy, Romance
Beta(s): xtanitx
Summary: Starts off with the episode Lover's Walk and then goes AU practically from the start. Spike has returned to Sunnydale, heartbroken that Drusilla has left him. When a love spell goes horribly wrong, how will the Scoobies react when the slayer gets involved with yet another vampire? Will Giles wipe his glasses in disapproval? Will Xander not understand but be too enamored with the visuals to say anything? Is Angel going to brood about it or will he do something more? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
Chapter Word Count: 3,298
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and I in no way mean to infringe on anyone's rights, nor do I use these names for profit. This is for entertainment and Tom-foolery only. Carry on.
For Previous Chapters Click Here!
Chapter 13
One week and two days ago, 11 pm
“We need to talk.”
Giles sighed, obviously very put out by the intruder, but he knew that there was no point in turning him away. “Make it quick. I’m very tired.”
“Don’t worry,” he said as he came inside. “I won’t keep you long.”
Giles locked his door and turned to face Angel. He was distraught about something, his hair was a mess and his expression was tense, more than usual. Giles kept a safe distance.
“What is it?”
“It’s about Buffy.” He ran his hands through his hair and paced the room. “We have to do this spell tonight. Spike is doing things that…it just has to stop.”
Giles frowned in thought and rubbed his chin. “We’ve barely discovered the meaning of the text of Gana’s spell. I’m not comfortable experimenting with magic until we’re certain that-”
“Giles, listen to me. Spike’s a liar and he can’t be trusted. He’s telling Buffy that he hasn’t fed on any human since the spell and she’s buying it!”
“How do you know that?”
Angel was quiet for a minute, ashamedly looking at the floor. “I’ve been following her.”
Giles tsked in disapproval and abruptly turned to his buffet to grab the bottle of scotch he kept there. He had a feeling that this conversation wouldn’t be as short as Angel had promised. “I can’t imagine that she would appreciate that, considering the torment Angelus put her and her friends through.” He poured himself a glass without offering any to his guest and turned back around to show the disdain he had nestled firmly in the corners of his mouth.
“I’ve just been keeping an eye on her, that’s all,” he said, slicing a flattened hand through the air. “I’ve known Spike a lot longer than you have and I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t either, but the spell has offered protection. They cannot harm one another.”
“Maybe not now, but he can use this time to his advantage. Manipulate her, make her think he cares about her, that he’s trying to change and then once the spell is broken, he can make his move.”
Giles was silent for a long while, sipping from his glass. “That sounds like something Angelus would do.” He held up his hand when Angel opened his mouth to speak. “I may not have spent as many years with Spike as you have, but I imagine him to be more impulsive than he is a schemer. You’re also failing to give Buffy the credit she deserves. I doubt she would continue to believe his lies after the forgetting spell.”
“But…” Angel sighed, obviously frustrated that Giles wasn’t on his team. “I just don’t understand how you can sit there and not want to do anything for her.”
Giles set his drink down loudly. “How dare you come into my house and point fingers at me? You have no idea what I’m going through! You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent trying to figure this out. She is my responsibility.” He picked his drink up again, finished it off, and then he poured himself another glass.
“I’m telling you there’s a way out of this!”
“And just how do you propose we fix this problem? Please, enlighten me.”
“I found the right forgetting spell.” He reached into his leather coat and pulled out a small, leather-bound book. “That book has everything you need to know about Gana and how to reverse her love spells. I have the right one bookmarked and everything.”
Giles took the book, eyeing Angel suspiciously as he opened it. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the opened page and carefully read the text. He inhaled sharply. “Did you read this?”
“Briefly. I was too anxious to come see you when I discovered it that I only skimmed. Why?”
Giles closed it and tucked it beneath his arm as he smiled at the floor. “You…skimmed. You’ve been following Buffy around…for her own good, trying to protect her and keep an eye on her, and you finally find a solution and you merely skimmed it?”
Angel’s posture stiffened and he tilted his head as he tucked his folded arms tightly around his chest. “Well…yeah?” Angel’s raised eyebrows and sheepish smile didn’t have the affect on the watcher that it used to have on Buffy. Giles’ expression was gravely serious and slightly shocked.
He opened the book again. “If you had read this, you would have caught this bit of text at the end: And once forgot, forever so. A blackened seed that cannot grow. Gana take this love from me, change what was my destiny.”
“Heh.” Angel laughed nervously. “Guess I missed that part.”
“That implies something greater than love, doesn’t it? That somehow they are destined.”
He rubbed his forehead, smiling slightly at the ridiculousness of it all. It made sense in a strange way. Willow’s theory was correct and the more he skimmed within that book, the more he realized that the spell wouldn’t have worked at all if there weren’t something behind it. Gana wasn’t someone to tamper with, being such a literal deity and all and he’d have to speak more seriously with Willow about her interest in magic. He was finding page after page warning about the seriousness of dabbling with love, especially using a conduit such as Gana to gain or repel love.
Why would Spike lie about changing his nature, as well? She already loved him, magically, yes, but he could feasibly get away with whatever he wanted. That was the sort of behavior Giles would have expected, taking advantage of her love for him by exploiting it, not pretending to be something she wanted. And if Spike and Buffy were destined to be together, then that just threw everything out the sodding window.
“Destined?” Angel laughed with a toothy grin, amused at how stupid that sounded. “I’m sorry, that’s hilarious. Buffy doesn’t love Spike and he doesn’t love her.”
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but Gana will not allow false love. It says right here-”
“She can’t love him!” Angel shouted. “Buffy can’t love him! So we’re gonna do this spell so everything can get back to the way it was.”
“Ahh,” Giles said with a knowing smile. “So that she can get back to pining over you, you mean.”
“Yes! I mean…no! That’s not…you’re putting words into my mouth.”
“Am I?” Giles took a slow, appreciative sip of his scotch, smiling around the rim. He absolutely loved that Angel was so uncomfortable in his presence. While it might have been petty, Giles still harbored quite a bit of ill will towards him for Jenny’s death. His main concern was his charge, of course, but it couldn’t hurt anything if he found a bit of delight in his agitation.
“Let’s play this out,” Giles said, sniffing and getting rid of his mischievous thoughts. “Suppose we went ahead with the spell tonight as you suggested.”
“Ok.” Angel nodded, liking where this conversation was headed.
“And she forgets all about Spike. Forever.”
“Yes.” Angel smiled. “I like it so far.”
“And then let’s think a few months down the line. Suppose Xander or Willow let his name slip in casual conversation. No doubt a probable situation, considering those two. What then? What if she were to find out that she was destined to be with a person that we, forcibly, made her forget? How do you think she would react to that? Or what if their destiny is meant to serve a greater purpose?”
Angel sighed heavily. “Ok, I get your point. But she can’t live the rest of her life under a spell. She’s…well, she’s a little crazy.”
Rupert laughed a bit. “Yes, I suppose her behavior is odd and I do agree that it isn’t fair for her to be under a spell. None of this is fair to her. I just wish there were a way for the spell to be broken without tampering with her memories or her bloody destiny. This isn’t something to be taken lightly.”
Angel paced the floor, rubbing the side of his face and clenching his jaw in thought. He knew of a way to tie them together but that would mean he’d never have her unless he challenged the claim. And while he wanted her, loved her, even, he wanted something better for Buffy. Better than him, and Spike most certainly wasn’t. She should be able to have kids and a normal life like any other woman in the world. If she and Spike were together, she’d never have that. But if Spike was destined to be with her then that threw everything out the fucking window.
“We’re just lucky he didn’t do something stupid like claim her,” Angel said.
“Pardon?”
“Well, if he’d have done that, they’d be linked forever. She’s so messed up with magic she wouldn’t protest. I’m surprised he hasn’t already.”
“A claim? I thought that was an antiquated practice.”
“Oh, they still happen. It’s…well, only freaky vampires do that.”
“Freaky vampires?”
“Yeah, you know, the Anne Rice vampires who think it’s all about being beautiful and powerful. It’s a crock of shit, if you ask me. Claims.” He snorted and shook his head. “It’s something Spike would think of. He’s the romantic one. You know, Darla and I always told him how stupid they were just to get him to shut up about it. He wanted Dru to-”
“Hold on just a minute.” Rupert held up his hand to silence him as he went through the books he’d brought home from the watcher’s retreat.
“Oh, no. No, no, no, you aren’t thinking about letting him claim her, are you?” Angel followed after him, eyeing the tomes the watcher was sifting through. “Because you’d be a damn idiot if you allowed that.”
“I said hold on!” he hissed impatiently. “Now then, where was that book? Aha!” He picked up a heavy book from the small library he’d created on his dining room table and quickly fanned through the pages. “Page seventy-six, right here. A claim cannot be broken by any magical means!”
“Giles…” Angel watched him frantically move about his flat, searching through his drawers until he located a stack of post-it notes. He pulled a square off the tablet, scribbled something on it, pressed it to the front of the book and slipped on his shoes.
“What are you doing?”
He put his hand on Angel’s back and ushered him to the door. “I’m putting it in Spike’s court. If he’s using Buffy, I doubt that he would endanger himself or his reputation by claiming her. We’ll leave him a hint and if he takes it, it is out of our hands. We will have corrected the balance, keeping them tethered to one another, protecting their destiny.”
“Yeah,” Angel said cautiously.
“Listen to me. I know this sounds insane and perhaps it is, but if she is destined to be with a vampire, it is my belief that it must serve some greater purpose. I’m not going to mess with the Powers simply because I don’t agree with it and neither should you. However, I’m not going to bloody spell it out for him.”
“Nice post-it note,” Angel said sarcastically as he followed Giles outside. “Why not draw arrows and underline important text for him while you’re at it?”
“Oh, do shut up.”
* * * *
“You know already?” Buffy shouted in disbelief.
“Yes, well…yes.”
“Giles, why didn’t you say anything? You kept quiet about this for a week and I’ve been going out of my mind!”
“I didn’t want to force it, Buffy. I knew Spike would try and seek you out eventually and that no harm would come to you.”
“No harm?” Buffy rose from her seat and folded her arms over her chest. “No harm? Giles…Spike claimed me! You do realize that I’m linked to a vampire for the rest of my life, right? Did you get on the crazy bus?”
He sighed and cast a hand through his messy bed hair, shoving his free hand into his robe pocket. “I’ve wondered myself if I’ve lost my mind but…in the long run, a claim was the best alternative.” She continued to stare at him and Giles swallowed cautiously. “I assumed you would rather have your memories and this was the only way to keep them. It made perfect sense when I thought of-when Angel thought of it.”
Her eyes narrowed and she licked her lips, staring at him incredulously. “Are you a doppelganger? Are you doppelganger Giles?” she said, her hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock. “What did you do with my watcher?”
He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Buffy, calm down. I assure you that nothing is amiss. Well, not entirely. You should sit for this.”
“I’d rather stand.” She cocked her head to the side authoritatively, leveling with him.
“I suppose I should start with the watcher’s retreat and the book I was given by a young man named…wait, wait.” He frowned and shook his head. “No, that won’t matter to you. All right, I suppose I’ll tell you about the visitor I had the other night. Although…that would take some explaining as well…”
“Giles. Standing here, waiting!”
“All right, all right, calm down. Do you remember the night that you and Spike went on patrol together, looking for Stephanie’s murderer?”
“Yeah,” she said, deciding to sit down. It seemed he wasn’t going to give a short answer.
“Well, that night, Angel came to me.”
He relayed everything to her, sparing no details. It was as hard for her to swallow as it was for him to admit what he’d done. She was obviously distressed and rightfully so. The fact that her watcher and her ex-boyfriend had conspired to help Spike claim her was like something out of the Twilight Zone. Not only was she confused with the myriad of emotions swirling within her, but now she had to deal with the fact that she was forever bonded to the very creature she was made to slay. And that creature just so happened to be Spike, a vampire that more than a week ago she’d have sooner dusted than given a second glare.
“Buffy, there is still a way out of this.”
“How?” Her eyes were wet and her body was exhausted and all she wanted to do was sleep and then kick Willow’s ass for abracadabraing her future into a pile of crap.
“If you were to stay away from him, the claim would weaken.”
“Yeah, I know that much. He and I talked about it.” She stood up and lazily walked around the room, needing something to keep her mind alert. She was so miserable, so confused and hurt that things had turned out this way. Considering the alternative, how she’d spent the past week with missing pieces of her memories, forgetting to eat and losing her focus, she supposed there wasn’t much to gripe about. The forgetting spell had done more than erase Spike from her memory. It seemed as though the missing pieces were stuffed with cotton batting, hazy filler that made it difficult for her to do the simplest of things. No matter what they’d done, it would have sucked either way.
“If the claim is weak, someone could challenge it. Angel, for example.”
She looked at him sharply. “You would want that?”
“No, I wouldn’t. But it’s possible for someone to break the claim. If that was what you desired.”
“I don’t know what I desire-want. I’m just very tired and confused and I feel awful for Spike.” She couldn’t stop thinking about how hurt he was, how much she resisted the urge to comfort him because of her own confusion. She couldn’t deny that he loved her now. She felt it when he claimed her and she felt it again tonight. She just didn’t know what to think about any of this or what she wanted or why. She might have hated his guts before all of this happened, but she knew him now. Knew him better than she would have liked and it pained her to see him so heartbroken.
“You don’t have to know the answers right now, Buffy,” he said softly, watching her sink back down onto the sofa. “What can I do for you?”
Ignoring his words, Buffy stared at the coffee table and her mind started to drift off, thinking about everything that happened between her and Spike. It was impossible that he so willingly changed for her in a matter of days, wasn’t it? There had to be some underlying motive. Spike wouldn’t have done all of that.
His behavior was mostly upsetting her because of the fact he didn’t have a soul. Angelus didn’t have a soul and she couldn’t picture spending a weekend with him in the same manner she and Spike had. She couldn’t picture Angelus eating cookies that she baked for him. She couldn’t picture him soothing her and telling her that he liked her the way she was. Angelus wouldn’t have lain in bed with her until four in the morning, content with simply kissing her and looking at her.
And come to think of it, Angel totally could have gone down on her without losing his soul! Why the hell hadn’t he done that?
“I have to see Angel,” she finally said.
“Are you sure that’s wise? Your emotions are all over the place. Why not take a few days to process everything?”
“I’m hoping my emotional state will give me the spine to ask him what I have to ask.”
She stood up and lifted her chin and Giles knew there was no point in trying to talk her out of it. She’d made up her mind.
“If you think that’s best.”
“We’ll see.” She left without another word to him, determined to figure this out on her own. She was just too tired to deal with it tonight and would be of no use if she didn’t get some rest.
Her mind was a mess and her eyes were puffy and she was grateful as she trudged her way home that she didn’t run into any demons. She had no energy, no fight left in her.
After a long shower, she put on her pajamas and opened her bedroom window to let the night air in. The faint aroma of cigarette smoke wafted up into her room and she smiled sadly, yet knowing that he’d come back, that he was there, helped to lull her to sleep. She didn’t know if the comfort she felt was because her mate was near, if it was her blood calling to him through their claim, or if it was something else. Whatever the reason, Spike’s presence wasn’t unwelcome.
Her window was closed when she woke up that following morning and her blanket had been pulled up and over her shoulders. Curious, she got out of bed and walked to the window when she spotted a piece of her own stationery sticking out from the crack of the window pane. Scribbled onto the paper was a message:
Got cold
She smiled sweetly, tapping the note against her lips and whispered, “Thank you, Spike.” She felt warm for the rest of the morning as she dressed and got ready to meet with Angel, as if she were still snuggled up in the comfort of her bed. She wondered if Spike had lain down with her, if he did anything more than cover her with a blanket.
A very tiny, very miniscule and shameful part of her wished he’d woken her up.
Chapter 14 >>>
Rating: NC-17 for adult language and sexual situations
Warnings: Graphic sex (eventually) Probably blood play. And foul-mouthedness
Season/Pairing: BtVS Season 3, Buffy/Spike, Willow/Oz, Xander/Cordelia, Angel/his discontent, Giles/missing spatula
Spoilers: Starts with the episode Lover's Walk, so anything up until that point could be mentioned. Some lines from the episode will be used in this fic.
Genre(s): Comedy, Romance
Beta(s): xtanitx
Summary: Starts off with the episode Lover's Walk and then goes AU practically from the start. Spike has returned to Sunnydale, heartbroken that Drusilla has left him. When a love spell goes horribly wrong, how will the Scoobies react when the slayer gets involved with yet another vampire? Will Giles wipe his glasses in disapproval? Will Xander not understand but be too enamored with the visuals to say anything? Is Angel going to brood about it or will he do something more? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
Chapter Word Count: 3,298
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and I in no way mean to infringe on anyone's rights, nor do I use these names for profit. This is for entertainment and Tom-foolery only. Carry on.
For Previous Chapters Click Here!
Chapter 13
One week and two days ago, 11 pm
“We need to talk.”
Giles sighed, obviously very put out by the intruder, but he knew that there was no point in turning him away. “Make it quick. I’m very tired.”
“Don’t worry,” he said as he came inside. “I won’t keep you long.”
Giles locked his door and turned to face Angel. He was distraught about something, his hair was a mess and his expression was tense, more than usual. Giles kept a safe distance.
“What is it?”
“It’s about Buffy.” He ran his hands through his hair and paced the room. “We have to do this spell tonight. Spike is doing things that…it just has to stop.”
Giles frowned in thought and rubbed his chin. “We’ve barely discovered the meaning of the text of Gana’s spell. I’m not comfortable experimenting with magic until we’re certain that-”
“Giles, listen to me. Spike’s a liar and he can’t be trusted. He’s telling Buffy that he hasn’t fed on any human since the spell and she’s buying it!”
“How do you know that?”
Angel was quiet for a minute, ashamedly looking at the floor. “I’ve been following her.”
Giles tsked in disapproval and abruptly turned to his buffet to grab the bottle of scotch he kept there. He had a feeling that this conversation wouldn’t be as short as Angel had promised. “I can’t imagine that she would appreciate that, considering the torment Angelus put her and her friends through.” He poured himself a glass without offering any to his guest and turned back around to show the disdain he had nestled firmly in the corners of his mouth.
“I’ve just been keeping an eye on her, that’s all,” he said, slicing a flattened hand through the air. “I’ve known Spike a lot longer than you have and I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t either, but the spell has offered protection. They cannot harm one another.”
“Maybe not now, but he can use this time to his advantage. Manipulate her, make her think he cares about her, that he’s trying to change and then once the spell is broken, he can make his move.”
Giles was silent for a long while, sipping from his glass. “That sounds like something Angelus would do.” He held up his hand when Angel opened his mouth to speak. “I may not have spent as many years with Spike as you have, but I imagine him to be more impulsive than he is a schemer. You’re also failing to give Buffy the credit she deserves. I doubt she would continue to believe his lies after the forgetting spell.”
“But…” Angel sighed, obviously frustrated that Giles wasn’t on his team. “I just don’t understand how you can sit there and not want to do anything for her.”
Giles set his drink down loudly. “How dare you come into my house and point fingers at me? You have no idea what I’m going through! You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent trying to figure this out. She is my responsibility.” He picked his drink up again, finished it off, and then he poured himself another glass.
“I’m telling you there’s a way out of this!”
“And just how do you propose we fix this problem? Please, enlighten me.”
“I found the right forgetting spell.” He reached into his leather coat and pulled out a small, leather-bound book. “That book has everything you need to know about Gana and how to reverse her love spells. I have the right one bookmarked and everything.”
Giles took the book, eyeing Angel suspiciously as he opened it. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the opened page and carefully read the text. He inhaled sharply. “Did you read this?”
“Briefly. I was too anxious to come see you when I discovered it that I only skimmed. Why?”
Giles closed it and tucked it beneath his arm as he smiled at the floor. “You…skimmed. You’ve been following Buffy around…for her own good, trying to protect her and keep an eye on her, and you finally find a solution and you merely skimmed it?”
Angel’s posture stiffened and he tilted his head as he tucked his folded arms tightly around his chest. “Well…yeah?” Angel’s raised eyebrows and sheepish smile didn’t have the affect on the watcher that it used to have on Buffy. Giles’ expression was gravely serious and slightly shocked.
He opened the book again. “If you had read this, you would have caught this bit of text at the end: And once forgot, forever so. A blackened seed that cannot grow. Gana take this love from me, change what was my destiny.”
“Heh.” Angel laughed nervously. “Guess I missed that part.”
“That implies something greater than love, doesn’t it? That somehow they are destined.”
He rubbed his forehead, smiling slightly at the ridiculousness of it all. It made sense in a strange way. Willow’s theory was correct and the more he skimmed within that book, the more he realized that the spell wouldn’t have worked at all if there weren’t something behind it. Gana wasn’t someone to tamper with, being such a literal deity and all and he’d have to speak more seriously with Willow about her interest in magic. He was finding page after page warning about the seriousness of dabbling with love, especially using a conduit such as Gana to gain or repel love.
Why would Spike lie about changing his nature, as well? She already loved him, magically, yes, but he could feasibly get away with whatever he wanted. That was the sort of behavior Giles would have expected, taking advantage of her love for him by exploiting it, not pretending to be something she wanted. And if Spike and Buffy were destined to be together, then that just threw everything out the sodding window.
“Destined?” Angel laughed with a toothy grin, amused at how stupid that sounded. “I’m sorry, that’s hilarious. Buffy doesn’t love Spike and he doesn’t love her.”
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but Gana will not allow false love. It says right here-”
“She can’t love him!” Angel shouted. “Buffy can’t love him! So we’re gonna do this spell so everything can get back to the way it was.”
“Ahh,” Giles said with a knowing smile. “So that she can get back to pining over you, you mean.”
“Yes! I mean…no! That’s not…you’re putting words into my mouth.”
“Am I?” Giles took a slow, appreciative sip of his scotch, smiling around the rim. He absolutely loved that Angel was so uncomfortable in his presence. While it might have been petty, Giles still harbored quite a bit of ill will towards him for Jenny’s death. His main concern was his charge, of course, but it couldn’t hurt anything if he found a bit of delight in his agitation.
“Let’s play this out,” Giles said, sniffing and getting rid of his mischievous thoughts. “Suppose we went ahead with the spell tonight as you suggested.”
“Ok.” Angel nodded, liking where this conversation was headed.
“And she forgets all about Spike. Forever.”
“Yes.” Angel smiled. “I like it so far.”
“And then let’s think a few months down the line. Suppose Xander or Willow let his name slip in casual conversation. No doubt a probable situation, considering those two. What then? What if she were to find out that she was destined to be with a person that we, forcibly, made her forget? How do you think she would react to that? Or what if their destiny is meant to serve a greater purpose?”
Angel sighed heavily. “Ok, I get your point. But she can’t live the rest of her life under a spell. She’s…well, she’s a little crazy.”
Rupert laughed a bit. “Yes, I suppose her behavior is odd and I do agree that it isn’t fair for her to be under a spell. None of this is fair to her. I just wish there were a way for the spell to be broken without tampering with her memories or her bloody destiny. This isn’t something to be taken lightly.”
Angel paced the floor, rubbing the side of his face and clenching his jaw in thought. He knew of a way to tie them together but that would mean he’d never have her unless he challenged the claim. And while he wanted her, loved her, even, he wanted something better for Buffy. Better than him, and Spike most certainly wasn’t. She should be able to have kids and a normal life like any other woman in the world. If she and Spike were together, she’d never have that. But if Spike was destined to be with her then that threw everything out the fucking window.
“We’re just lucky he didn’t do something stupid like claim her,” Angel said.
“Pardon?”
“Well, if he’d have done that, they’d be linked forever. She’s so messed up with magic she wouldn’t protest. I’m surprised he hasn’t already.”
“A claim? I thought that was an antiquated practice.”
“Oh, they still happen. It’s…well, only freaky vampires do that.”
“Freaky vampires?”
“Yeah, you know, the Anne Rice vampires who think it’s all about being beautiful and powerful. It’s a crock of shit, if you ask me. Claims.” He snorted and shook his head. “It’s something Spike would think of. He’s the romantic one. You know, Darla and I always told him how stupid they were just to get him to shut up about it. He wanted Dru to-”
“Hold on just a minute.” Rupert held up his hand to silence him as he went through the books he’d brought home from the watcher’s retreat.
“Oh, no. No, no, no, you aren’t thinking about letting him claim her, are you?” Angel followed after him, eyeing the tomes the watcher was sifting through. “Because you’d be a damn idiot if you allowed that.”
“I said hold on!” he hissed impatiently. “Now then, where was that book? Aha!” He picked up a heavy book from the small library he’d created on his dining room table and quickly fanned through the pages. “Page seventy-six, right here. A claim cannot be broken by any magical means!”
“Giles…” Angel watched him frantically move about his flat, searching through his drawers until he located a stack of post-it notes. He pulled a square off the tablet, scribbled something on it, pressed it to the front of the book and slipped on his shoes.
“What are you doing?”
He put his hand on Angel’s back and ushered him to the door. “I’m putting it in Spike’s court. If he’s using Buffy, I doubt that he would endanger himself or his reputation by claiming her. We’ll leave him a hint and if he takes it, it is out of our hands. We will have corrected the balance, keeping them tethered to one another, protecting their destiny.”
“Yeah,” Angel said cautiously.
“Listen to me. I know this sounds insane and perhaps it is, but if she is destined to be with a vampire, it is my belief that it must serve some greater purpose. I’m not going to mess with the Powers simply because I don’t agree with it and neither should you. However, I’m not going to bloody spell it out for him.”
“Nice post-it note,” Angel said sarcastically as he followed Giles outside. “Why not draw arrows and underline important text for him while you’re at it?”
“Oh, do shut up.”
* * * *
“You know already?” Buffy shouted in disbelief.
“Yes, well…yes.”
“Giles, why didn’t you say anything? You kept quiet about this for a week and I’ve been going out of my mind!”
“I didn’t want to force it, Buffy. I knew Spike would try and seek you out eventually and that no harm would come to you.”
“No harm?” Buffy rose from her seat and folded her arms over her chest. “No harm? Giles…Spike claimed me! You do realize that I’m linked to a vampire for the rest of my life, right? Did you get on the crazy bus?”
He sighed and cast a hand through his messy bed hair, shoving his free hand into his robe pocket. “I’ve wondered myself if I’ve lost my mind but…in the long run, a claim was the best alternative.” She continued to stare at him and Giles swallowed cautiously. “I assumed you would rather have your memories and this was the only way to keep them. It made perfect sense when I thought of-when Angel thought of it.”
Her eyes narrowed and she licked her lips, staring at him incredulously. “Are you a doppelganger? Are you doppelganger Giles?” she said, her hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock. “What did you do with my watcher?”
He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Buffy, calm down. I assure you that nothing is amiss. Well, not entirely. You should sit for this.”
“I’d rather stand.” She cocked her head to the side authoritatively, leveling with him.
“I suppose I should start with the watcher’s retreat and the book I was given by a young man named…wait, wait.” He frowned and shook his head. “No, that won’t matter to you. All right, I suppose I’ll tell you about the visitor I had the other night. Although…that would take some explaining as well…”
“Giles. Standing here, waiting!”
“All right, all right, calm down. Do you remember the night that you and Spike went on patrol together, looking for Stephanie’s murderer?”
“Yeah,” she said, deciding to sit down. It seemed he wasn’t going to give a short answer.
“Well, that night, Angel came to me.”
He relayed everything to her, sparing no details. It was as hard for her to swallow as it was for him to admit what he’d done. She was obviously distressed and rightfully so. The fact that her watcher and her ex-boyfriend had conspired to help Spike claim her was like something out of the Twilight Zone. Not only was she confused with the myriad of emotions swirling within her, but now she had to deal with the fact that she was forever bonded to the very creature she was made to slay. And that creature just so happened to be Spike, a vampire that more than a week ago she’d have sooner dusted than given a second glare.
“Buffy, there is still a way out of this.”
“How?” Her eyes were wet and her body was exhausted and all she wanted to do was sleep and then kick Willow’s ass for abracadabraing her future into a pile of crap.
“If you were to stay away from him, the claim would weaken.”
“Yeah, I know that much. He and I talked about it.” She stood up and lazily walked around the room, needing something to keep her mind alert. She was so miserable, so confused and hurt that things had turned out this way. Considering the alternative, how she’d spent the past week with missing pieces of her memories, forgetting to eat and losing her focus, she supposed there wasn’t much to gripe about. The forgetting spell had done more than erase Spike from her memory. It seemed as though the missing pieces were stuffed with cotton batting, hazy filler that made it difficult for her to do the simplest of things. No matter what they’d done, it would have sucked either way.
“If the claim is weak, someone could challenge it. Angel, for example.”
She looked at him sharply. “You would want that?”
“No, I wouldn’t. But it’s possible for someone to break the claim. If that was what you desired.”
“I don’t know what I desire-want. I’m just very tired and confused and I feel awful for Spike.” She couldn’t stop thinking about how hurt he was, how much she resisted the urge to comfort him because of her own confusion. She couldn’t deny that he loved her now. She felt it when he claimed her and she felt it again tonight. She just didn’t know what to think about any of this or what she wanted or why. She might have hated his guts before all of this happened, but she knew him now. Knew him better than she would have liked and it pained her to see him so heartbroken.
“You don’t have to know the answers right now, Buffy,” he said softly, watching her sink back down onto the sofa. “What can I do for you?”
Ignoring his words, Buffy stared at the coffee table and her mind started to drift off, thinking about everything that happened between her and Spike. It was impossible that he so willingly changed for her in a matter of days, wasn’t it? There had to be some underlying motive. Spike wouldn’t have done all of that.
His behavior was mostly upsetting her because of the fact he didn’t have a soul. Angelus didn’t have a soul and she couldn’t picture spending a weekend with him in the same manner she and Spike had. She couldn’t picture Angelus eating cookies that she baked for him. She couldn’t picture him soothing her and telling her that he liked her the way she was. Angelus wouldn’t have lain in bed with her until four in the morning, content with simply kissing her and looking at her.
And come to think of it, Angel totally could have gone down on her without losing his soul! Why the hell hadn’t he done that?
“I have to see Angel,” she finally said.
“Are you sure that’s wise? Your emotions are all over the place. Why not take a few days to process everything?”
“I’m hoping my emotional state will give me the spine to ask him what I have to ask.”
She stood up and lifted her chin and Giles knew there was no point in trying to talk her out of it. She’d made up her mind.
“If you think that’s best.”
“We’ll see.” She left without another word to him, determined to figure this out on her own. She was just too tired to deal with it tonight and would be of no use if she didn’t get some rest.
Her mind was a mess and her eyes were puffy and she was grateful as she trudged her way home that she didn’t run into any demons. She had no energy, no fight left in her.
After a long shower, she put on her pajamas and opened her bedroom window to let the night air in. The faint aroma of cigarette smoke wafted up into her room and she smiled sadly, yet knowing that he’d come back, that he was there, helped to lull her to sleep. She didn’t know if the comfort she felt was because her mate was near, if it was her blood calling to him through their claim, or if it was something else. Whatever the reason, Spike’s presence wasn’t unwelcome.
Her window was closed when she woke up that following morning and her blanket had been pulled up and over her shoulders. Curious, she got out of bed and walked to the window when she spotted a piece of her own stationery sticking out from the crack of the window pane. Scribbled onto the paper was a message:
Got cold
She smiled sweetly, tapping the note against her lips and whispered, “Thank you, Spike.” She felt warm for the rest of the morning as she dressed and got ready to meet with Angel, as if she were still snuggled up in the comfort of her bed. She wondered if Spike had lain down with her, if he did anything more than cover her with a blanket.
A very tiny, very miniscule and shameful part of her wished he’d woken her up.
Chapter 14 >>>