(no subject)
Sunday morning it all became clear. Halfway through me crying, I remember what it was that was REALLY bothering me. Its been...2 years? I don't know, I'm not counting. A long time ago anyways, and its still there. I hate that it makes a difference now. I hate you for doing this to me now. But at the same time, as I was promised and promised all over again, I had to apologize, because I knew you weren't really a problem, and I can trust you. I can, can't I? Wow, realization sets in again. Its been this long and I NOW feel like I can say that? Alot of things are my fault. I could have things different, if I just let them be. I need to listen to my own advice to you. You love me, I know you do. I wish I could see it and feel it better. You do a great job, its just i feel like I have a thick skin now, which i learned to have, but at the same time....I wish I could be all silly and crazy about love, little girl style like I used to be. But I gets thats what happens when you get lost for the first time, eh? Haha..nice how i did that huh? Yeah, but really its true. The first time scars you for life and you just learn to love in a different way.
I have two hours and i'm cracking a beer on the way home.
I have two hours and i'm cracking a beer on the way home.