Philosophy of a lonely day (a long one)
In the immortal words of Missing Persons, great band of the '80s: What are words for?
Dylan's at home this weekend, doing something motorcycle-related . . . So, I have been beautifully and utterly alone since he left Friday afternoon. Not that his company was a nuisance or anything. I just love solitude, and haven't been able to get around to achieving it lately.
It came as quite a shock when, after shopping downtown for books and at Target for candles and new clothes, that I had quite literally been silent all day. Except for small, meaningless exchanges with clerks ("No thanks, I don't need a bag," or "You too!") I hadn't spoken to anyone. Half a day went by without my opening my mouth to really talk. In fact, that's still the case; I haven't conversed since I woke up this morning.
What's even more bizarre to me is that I feel as though I had company throughout the entire day. I was never wanting for a companion; I was never bored. I received enough visual and mental stimulation through the sights and activity around me to set my brain off on a rather lengthy and deep conversation with itself. Walking and walking and walking around -- a therapeutic act in itself, even with a partner -- and observing quietly all the goings-on near me led to a day of reflection, intellectual conversations in my own mind, and some killer shopping.
If I had had someone with me, things would have been completely different. I would have worried about whether or not they were entertained, tired, thirsty, hungry, bored, laughing enough. I would have talked and talked and talked, but only about things that people can talk about. What's really in our minds gets left there, dormant, when we are talking with a friend. It's not because our friendships are frivolous (altough it's sad to say that I myself try to keep them on that level out of some weird, phobic necessity -- but that's for another post), it's just that the brain has a language all its own -- made up of not just words, but images and sounds, song lyrics on repeat, images, and experiences, all of which tie in to what is known as A Thought.
To be able to spend time by yourself without spoken, inaccurate words interfering with your communication is a valuable experience. The act of walking and thinking, while examining and questioning those thoughts and maybe forming conclusions about them is something we really all should do more often. I'm not a spiritual person, but from this day of silence and from the time I spent in my own mind, I can say I'm a bit closer to "finding myself."
Lonely days are beautiful.
Oh, and if you're interested, the loot for today is as follows:
1 pair of supertight jeans
The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson
Neuromancer by William Gibson
1 new thermal shirt, gray
1 new pair of awesome black leather boots
Yay for frivolity once in a while!
Dylan's at home this weekend, doing something motorcycle-related . . . So, I have been beautifully and utterly alone since he left Friday afternoon. Not that his company was a nuisance or anything. I just love solitude, and haven't been able to get around to achieving it lately.
It came as quite a shock when, after shopping downtown for books and at Target for candles and new clothes, that I had quite literally been silent all day. Except for small, meaningless exchanges with clerks ("No thanks, I don't need a bag," or "You too!") I hadn't spoken to anyone. Half a day went by without my opening my mouth to really talk. In fact, that's still the case; I haven't conversed since I woke up this morning.
What's even more bizarre to me is that I feel as though I had company throughout the entire day. I was never wanting for a companion; I was never bored. I received enough visual and mental stimulation through the sights and activity around me to set my brain off on a rather lengthy and deep conversation with itself. Walking and walking and walking around -- a therapeutic act in itself, even with a partner -- and observing quietly all the goings-on near me led to a day of reflection, intellectual conversations in my own mind, and some killer shopping.
If I had had someone with me, things would have been completely different. I would have worried about whether or not they were entertained, tired, thirsty, hungry, bored, laughing enough. I would have talked and talked and talked, but only about things that people can talk about. What's really in our minds gets left there, dormant, when we are talking with a friend. It's not because our friendships are frivolous (altough it's sad to say that I myself try to keep them on that level out of some weird, phobic necessity -- but that's for another post), it's just that the brain has a language all its own -- made up of not just words, but images and sounds, song lyrics on repeat, images, and experiences, all of which tie in to what is known as A Thought.
To be able to spend time by yourself without spoken, inaccurate words interfering with your communication is a valuable experience. The act of walking and thinking, while examining and questioning those thoughts and maybe forming conclusions about them is something we really all should do more often. I'm not a spiritual person, but from this day of silence and from the time I spent in my own mind, I can say I'm a bit closer to "finding myself."
Lonely days are beautiful.
Oh, and if you're interested, the loot for today is as follows:
1 pair of supertight jeans
The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson
Neuromancer by William Gibson
1 new thermal shirt, gray
1 new pair of awesome black leather boots
Yay for frivolity once in a while!