Boyfriend Application

[seussisms]

Must be good looking, lest I wander.
Must hug me on demand.
Must not call me crazy, or irrational.
Must understand where I've been and how long it's taken to get here.
Must console me when I am sad.
Must never use sarcasm when I am upset.
Must like cats.
Must not leave dirty socks strewn about my room.
Must make me breakfast every now and then.
Must make my bed every now and then.
Must compliment me continuously.
Must make me feel important.
Must be willing to go on adventures with me.
And stay in with me.
Must do dishes every now and then.
Must feel comfortable with me.

Takers?