Summer, and the not so bummer summer
Summer:
Not working. This is good and bad. No kids but my own to manage but also no paycheck.
House projects are aplenty. The insurance accepted the painted porch/eaves, so coverage continues. Yay! The bathroom sink project has been challenging but beneficial. I needed to know I could do something creative and it's through the hardest part. I hope. The wall painting is still on hold until I finish the sink. The siding needs patched before rains hit. Sigh.
The dog died.
Wildfires are raging. The expanse and danger of the fire behavior, has produced immeasurable anxiety for the girl and myself. I haven't felt this much worry or concern for the Ex in years. Whole towns are evacuating and California is up in smoke. Very frightening.
Depression. It knocked on the door. I looked out the peep hole and decided it wasn't selling me no girl scout cookies. It knocked again and I opened the door without checking the peep hole. Dammit. Now, to do damage control. There is a myriad of reasons that are contributing factors. Some my own doing, others, patterns I have yet to understand and break. Sucks being here, again.
Not so bummer:
I've been fortunate to take 2 trips this summer. One to Klammath Falls, Oregon. This included a stop at Crater Lake. Beautiful! And one to SLO County. I was able to visit with family, which was wonderful. Didn't have much time to see friends, though. Our schedules got flopped around and reversed and flipped again. It was a long, difficult trip. I managed to enjoy everything with the girl. We shared many good moments and created lifetime memories. The man, on the other hand, was a huge boil on my ass. Hence the depression. Sigh.
The rest of summer will be spent doing what MUST be done, rather than what one WANTS to be done. I may miss out on farewells and other celebrations, but life is sometimes beyond my control. Oooo that reminded me of a line from Dangerous Liasons. Good ole' John Malkovich!
Ok, so to wrap up...
I'm tired, full of projects to work on/complete, in emotional turmoil, and needing ME time. Yup. Sounds normal.
Not working. This is good and bad. No kids but my own to manage but also no paycheck.
House projects are aplenty. The insurance accepted the painted porch/eaves, so coverage continues. Yay! The bathroom sink project has been challenging but beneficial. I needed to know I could do something creative and it's through the hardest part. I hope. The wall painting is still on hold until I finish the sink. The siding needs patched before rains hit. Sigh.
The dog died.
Wildfires are raging. The expanse and danger of the fire behavior, has produced immeasurable anxiety for the girl and myself. I haven't felt this much worry or concern for the Ex in years. Whole towns are evacuating and California is up in smoke. Very frightening.
Depression. It knocked on the door. I looked out the peep hole and decided it wasn't selling me no girl scout cookies. It knocked again and I opened the door without checking the peep hole. Dammit. Now, to do damage control. There is a myriad of reasons that are contributing factors. Some my own doing, others, patterns I have yet to understand and break. Sucks being here, again.
Not so bummer:
I've been fortunate to take 2 trips this summer. One to Klammath Falls, Oregon. This included a stop at Crater Lake. Beautiful! And one to SLO County. I was able to visit with family, which was wonderful. Didn't have much time to see friends, though. Our schedules got flopped around and reversed and flipped again. It was a long, difficult trip. I managed to enjoy everything with the girl. We shared many good moments and created lifetime memories. The man, on the other hand, was a huge boil on my ass. Hence the depression. Sigh.
The rest of summer will be spent doing what MUST be done, rather than what one WANTS to be done. I may miss out on farewells and other celebrations, but life is sometimes beyond my control. Oooo that reminded me of a line from Dangerous Liasons. Good ole' John Malkovich!
Ok, so to wrap up...
I'm tired, full of projects to work on/complete, in emotional turmoil, and needing ME time. Yup. Sounds normal.