Bud Selig - new favorite Weatherman (after Ayers, of course)
I'd calmed down a bit from Monday night and was almost zen about the Phils' chances tonight talking to my boss this morning. And then Sam Donnellon had to go and ruin it by telling the truth:
YOU KNOW THE list by heart: Bobby Nystrom was offsides in 1980. We had O.J. Simpson until the Eagles screwed up the endgame. What if Eric Lindros had not been knocked out by Scott Stevens?
Smarty Jones was a lock to win the Triple Crown. A lock. Don't even talk to me about Barbaro. If Donovan McNabb had just taken some Maalox before that final aborted drive in the Super Bowl against the Patriots, are we really talking about a 25-year drought right now?
Oh, and by the way: Rocky won that first fight over Apollo Creed.
I counted the punches. He was robbed, period.
But it's not as good of a story, is it?
Was reading the comments over at King's blog, wherein somebody spouted off with: "The City that Loves You Back is full of losers. I wouldn't want winning to change them, the way winning has changed Boston. And you know what? They wouldn't want it any other way. They just don't know it."
Look, I want to win. I've never seen a parade in this city, ever. I was one and a half years old the last time a Philly team won a title (just don't tell Mary that the year was '83). And in God-like manner, the Natural Order of Things Philly Sports-Related - the scientific theory that no Philly team will win a championship in Mark Setzer's lifetime - is closer to being proven yet again.
That said, I like writers like Donnellon, because he plays the bitter, sarcastic bastard role that we've come to embody so well. Observe:
Bud [Selig] also put those poor umpires on the podium the other night, backing his play.
I mean, if these guys have to explain themselves one more time this Series, they might get charged with a crime.
"What we look for as umpires is the integrity of the mound and the batter's box, and that was never compromised," umpire crew chief Tim Welke said.
Huh?
"That was probably the worst conditions I've ever played under in my life," Tampa's Carlos Pena told ESPN's Jayson Stark. "It was really, really cold. Windy. And it was raining nonstop. I mean, when do you ever see a puddle at home plate?"
Just don't slip in it Carlos, OK?
Because then integrity would be compromised.
And even though I'm aware the following is a tired canard, especially from a fan with a dog in the fight here, the anti-Philly bias in the sports media at large has at least been pointed out by someone other than myself (often while being restrained from throwing my remote control at the goddamned TV in the process):
Usually when fans complain about announcers' biases, I brush them off, but the barrage of comments from [Joe Buck and Tim McCarver] in the fifth and sixth innings the other night did sound a bit one-sided.
An example:
After Upton's speed to first factored into Rollins' bobbled throw with two outs in the sixth, the announcers engaged in a long lament about the weather affecting a key part of the Rays game - their speed.
As they went on about this, Upton stole second base rather easily. He might not even have needed to slide.
Why? Because Cole Hamels had to focus on his grip, his delivery... Earlier, both blamed the early departure of Rays starter Scott Kazmir on the ball-strike calls of home plate umpire Jeff Kellogg. They said Kazmir had been "squeezed."
He walked six and hit Chase Utley.
All that squeezing, he's lucky to be alive.
An inning earlier, on a 3-1 count with bases loaded and two outs, Kellogg called a borderline strike on Utley. If it went the other way, it's Phillies 3, Rays 1 - at least.
But that may not have gotten us to a Game 6, or a Game 7, underneath the antiseptic dome in Tampa, where Rupert Murdoch has a hand over Mother Nature. A Game 5 finish would have affected ad revenue for Fox and Major League Baseball; would have made all those suits feel almost as miserable as the 45,940 who sat there for more than 2 hours Monday night.
The moral, of course, is, if you love baseball, you should want to stick it to Fox for the way they're treating their fans. By which, naturally, I mean "cheer for the Phillies."
(I know, it was a long shot.)
YOU KNOW THE list by heart: Bobby Nystrom was offsides in 1980. We had O.J. Simpson until the Eagles screwed up the endgame. What if Eric Lindros had not been knocked out by Scott Stevens?
Smarty Jones was a lock to win the Triple Crown. A lock. Don't even talk to me about Barbaro. If Donovan McNabb had just taken some Maalox before that final aborted drive in the Super Bowl against the Patriots, are we really talking about a 25-year drought right now?
Oh, and by the way: Rocky won that first fight over Apollo Creed.
I counted the punches. He was robbed, period.
But it's not as good of a story, is it?
Was reading the comments over at King's blog, wherein somebody spouted off with: "The City that Loves You Back is full of losers. I wouldn't want winning to change them, the way winning has changed Boston. And you know what? They wouldn't want it any other way. They just don't know it."
Look, I want to win. I've never seen a parade in this city, ever. I was one and a half years old the last time a Philly team won a title (just don't tell Mary that the year was '83). And in God-like manner, the Natural Order of Things Philly Sports-Related - the scientific theory that no Philly team will win a championship in Mark Setzer's lifetime - is closer to being proven yet again.
That said, I like writers like Donnellon, because he plays the bitter, sarcastic bastard role that we've come to embody so well. Observe:
Bud [Selig] also put those poor umpires on the podium the other night, backing his play.
I mean, if these guys have to explain themselves one more time this Series, they might get charged with a crime.
"What we look for as umpires is the integrity of the mound and the batter's box, and that was never compromised," umpire crew chief Tim Welke said.
Huh?
"That was probably the worst conditions I've ever played under in my life," Tampa's Carlos Pena told ESPN's Jayson Stark. "It was really, really cold. Windy. And it was raining nonstop. I mean, when do you ever see a puddle at home plate?"
Just don't slip in it Carlos, OK?
Because then integrity would be compromised.
And even though I'm aware the following is a tired canard, especially from a fan with a dog in the fight here, the anti-Philly bias in the sports media at large has at least been pointed out by someone other than myself (often while being restrained from throwing my remote control at the goddamned TV in the process):
Usually when fans complain about announcers' biases, I brush them off, but the barrage of comments from [Joe Buck and Tim McCarver] in the fifth and sixth innings the other night did sound a bit one-sided.
An example:
After Upton's speed to first factored into Rollins' bobbled throw with two outs in the sixth, the announcers engaged in a long lament about the weather affecting a key part of the Rays game - their speed.
As they went on about this, Upton stole second base rather easily. He might not even have needed to slide.
Why? Because Cole Hamels had to focus on his grip, his delivery... Earlier, both blamed the early departure of Rays starter Scott Kazmir on the ball-strike calls of home plate umpire Jeff Kellogg. They said Kazmir had been "squeezed."
He walked six and hit Chase Utley.
All that squeezing, he's lucky to be alive.
An inning earlier, on a 3-1 count with bases loaded and two outs, Kellogg called a borderline strike on Utley. If it went the other way, it's Phillies 3, Rays 1 - at least.
But that may not have gotten us to a Game 6, or a Game 7, underneath the antiseptic dome in Tampa, where Rupert Murdoch has a hand over Mother Nature. A Game 5 finish would have affected ad revenue for Fox and Major League Baseball; would have made all those suits feel almost as miserable as the 45,940 who sat there for more than 2 hours Monday night.
The moral, of course, is, if you love baseball, you should want to stick it to Fox for the way they're treating their fans. By which, naturally, I mean "cheer for the Phillies."
(I know, it was a long shot.)