official first horseman of the apocalypse

[setzeroni]

LOLCODE.

An example:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!"
KTHXBYE
Or:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
GIMMEH VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10?
YARLY
BTW this is true
VISIBLE "BIG NUMBER!"
NOWAI
BTW this is false
VISIBLE "LITTLE NUMBER!"
KTHX
KTHXBYE

In pre-alpha, we've got LOLCode.NET. You can even debug in Visual Studio. I'm sold.