(no subject)

[setyouablaze]

Okay so coming from a teenagers point of view this is going to be a bit different than dad’s letter. Anyways, you went into the hospital October 13th. I distinctly remember because I was on the phone with Derek, about the time you called Aunt Nancy. And I was talking about how I didn’t know what I would do if anything happened to you. I guess I felt kind of weird just as dad had that night. But I thought nothing of it. Then later that night dad called my mom. Who, as I’m told by her, was at first extremely rude to him for calling so late, then extremely apologetic after finding out the reason for the call. She told me you were in the hospital with two aneurysms and that you were having surgery. I was half asleep and to tell you the truth, I had no idea what an aneurysm was. She said she didn’t know much more and I didn’t know what to think. And now as ashamed as I am to admit it, I fell asleep. An hour later Linda and Gordy called and said I had to go to the hospital. They were coming to pick me up. So I got up and got dressed and started to worry. When I got in Linda and Gordy’s truck, Aunt Linda was crying. So then I really started to wonder what was going on. I got to the hospital and Aunt Nancy and Nana were there. Aunt Aimée was on her way but didn’t have a clue how bad it was. And nobody had the heart to tell her until she got there. The part that made me realize how bad off your were was the doctor. He was a blunt doctor to say the least. I was sitting down next to Aunt Nancy when the doctor said, “Well with this kind of surgery the patient usually doesn’t survive.” After that I’m not sure what happened. I think Nana asked for numbers or statistics, but I didn’t really know what to think. I know what I was feeling though. I went through about five feelings. First I felt like my insides had been ripped out, then I felt like I was going to puke, then I felt like I was going to faint, which progressed into sadness, which ended up with me being angry. The latter feeling I could not explain until later that night. So Aunt Nancy took me outside so I wouldn’t pass out and I called mom to tell her what was going on. When I came back in Nana asked if I wanted to go pray in the chapel. Just then I realized why I was angry. Well, before you got sick I didn’t believe in God. And I was angry because I said to myself, “Well look at this. I guess I was right. There isn’t a God, and even if there was, why would he do this?” So we went to pray although I really didn’t know what to do. I guess instead of really praying I repeated over and over in my head. “I hope Papa’s okay. Please let him be okay.” (Later on I realized I must have been praying to someone). After that everyone got to the hospital and I came to visit you everyday, still thinking the same thing, “God wouldn’t do this.” Then I saw Dad, Nana, Barb and Tami reading religious books. I thought to myself, “Why would you put all your faith on such a benevolent person, a person who made your loved one sick?” Well this confused me for a while, until a couple days after you got out of the hospital. Because even if the rest of our family saw only one miracle in the making. I saw three and that is what made me believe there must be a God and he is good. I saw you recover when doctors said you had no chance, I got to spend quality time with my dad, and I found something to believe in. So thank you, because even in your time of sickness, you brought people closer. Not only to their family, but also to God. You are the best Papa in the world. I Love You.

My grandpa's x-mas letter...tell me what you think...