[FIC] My Everything , ONE-SHOT
A/N: Surprise! Nice weather, everyone! Because my mind and fingers were itching to release something, I came up with this plot. I had planned to release a KyuMin but I released this instead! LOL.
Disclaimer: Do I look like own anything? Pssh.
Warning: BL/Bromance/Male x Male. Don’t like it, don’t view it!
I knew it would take some time, or even a year or two or more, before you’d be able to talk about that without shedding a sorrowful tear.
Every time I would catch Eeteuk-hyung checking up on you after the broadcast, you’d always show a big, happy smile to our worried leader. “Yeah, I’m okay. No worries, hyung.”
Unfortunately, Donghae-ah, my eyes were pretty sharp so there was no way I couldn’t simply set aside that pain and disheartened look you had on everything you assured Eeteuk-hyung that you were okay. Behind that masked smile, you were killing yourself.
You weren’t okay.
You wanted to cry so hard but refuse to do so. Just a mere conversation about your late father, a part of you slowly crumbled and died. I had wanted to talk to you about this; had wanted to tell you that it was okay to scream, shout, cry hard about losing someone who you loved so dearly.
And yet you simply shrugged it off, playfully smacking my back and laughing, “Hyuk-ah~ why so gloomy? C’mon, you guys are on for 15 minutes!”
Why did you continue being like this? Why couldn’t you simply admit that you wanted to cry out for your dad instead of pretending that you were in the best shape of your life? Why couldn’t you, for once, be just any human being that feels devastated about losing a significant someone?
Why did you pretend on being strong, Donghae-ah? You had no idea how painful it was for me seeing you forcing yourself to wear a smile and holding back in breaking down.
“Okay! Places everyone! The cameras are ready and the music will start in 10 seconds sharp!”
Right now, you, together with the other members who were not Trot, quietly watched us from the staff area; waving your hands and cheering for us right before our live Super Junior TROT recording. This was the first time everyone was present so today was extra special.
For me, that was.
“-6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… CUE!”
Regardless of feeling slightly down, I managed to wear a genuine smile as colorful lights shined brightly and upbeat music blared from countless speakers. I stole a quick glance of you sitting between Siwonnie and Ryeowookie and grinned inwardly. I’ll make you happy today.
Heechul-sshi and Kangin-sshi were the obvious excited ones - running around the stage with their shimmering clothes on and did funny impersonations of various celebrities as always. Sungminnie and Shindong-hyung did comical faces in front of their assigned cameras. And Eeteuk-hyung? Well, he was happily chatting away with the other staff members like there was no tomorrow.
From your view, perhaps, we looked like we weren’t shooting a serious recording at all, weren’t we? Not just you, even the other Super Junior members watched us with big, surprised eyes.
“-and that’s why Kibummie, you should watch this music video your hyungs are doing, alright? Your other hyungs are here too! There -look at the camera, Hankyung-ah!- they are! Hey, don’t hog the camera, Heenim!! Alright, this has been your caring Angel without Wings, Teukie Teuki-AHH! Sungmin-ah! Get back here!!”
Everyone inside the studio was laughing so lightly, even you. That was then it felt okay again - when you finally smiled and laughed.
But your smile quickly disappeared as soon as a new song played at the background of our stage. I had also stopped and wondered for a moment, not minding even when the film rolled and captured my every move, every expression. What is this? It sounds familiar. I knew that I heard this music from somewhere but my mind had difficulty remembering what it was.
What I only knew was that I sang the familiar lyrics like it was imprinted in my mind. The camera rolled; my members who were on stage began singing as well and the recording began just as the music started.
I knew that something was off as I moved and danced like the others. Something is definitely wrong.
And my assumptions were right when I glanced to where you were supposed to be seated and found it empty. Only Siwon and Ryeowook and no you. I just took my eyes off for a moment and you disappeared all of a sudden?
My heart sank at the sight of the missing Fishy. Where…? And it was then when I realized what Trot was performing and recording, happily singing and dancing.
Oh, shit.
It was none other than your Dad’s favorite Trot song.
After the recording, I quickly excused myself to everyone - even passing the offer of eating dinner courtesy by our manager - and searched for you. My steps grew heavier each time and my thoughts only consisted of you and how I would apologize to you.
I seriously felt like a stupid, inconsiderate fool. This guilt ate me whole and I needed you to forgive me the moment I find you.
But where exactly were you?
After what seemed like a long search, I found you alone in the dressing room - sitting on the couch with your head hung low, elbows on your knees and fingers intertwined with another. Your gaze was completely plastered on the floor and seemed to not notice my presence.
“Hey.” I softly said but hesitant to approach you. Instead I stood to where I was -near the door- and just watched you. From the distance, I could hear the faint sounds of Rokkugo being played and people talking and laughing.
“Ah, Hyukjae…” Your voice sounded hoarse but quickly covered it by clearing your throat. I noticed that you didn’t want to look up and instead remained staring downwards. I speculated that, as of this moment, you had puffy eyes that you didn’t want to reveal. “What’s up? Recording finished?”
“Yeah.” I replied; my gaze locked on you still facing anything but me. “But you were missing so I was looking for you. Manager-hyung said it was time to eat.”
Then you feigned a chuckle, to which added more to my guilt and worry. “Ah, my make-up ran so I went back and fixed it. I’ll be out in a minute. You can go ahead.”
However, the last word you spoke sounded off and I knew that tears that threatened to fall again really did fell without your consent; your shoulders shaking visibly and you wrapped your arms around yourself. “R-right… You can go a-ahead. I’ll be o-ou-
I knew that I couldn’t stop myself now and let everything just happen. This was now or never to save you, Donghae.
Sprinting to where you were, I knelt and pried the hands that covered you and replaced it with my body, embracing you tightly like my life depended on it. I looked at you and saw just how surprise you were; tears still streaming down from your eyes. “H-Hyuk…?”
But you cried even harder, sobbing much harder. You shook your head, trying to stop the tears from embarrassing you and covered your face with trembling hands. I, on the other hand, had my arms on your shoulders and just watched you dumbfounded.
What was wrong? You didn’t want me to see you like this? You didn’t want me to catch you breaking down like this? “Hyuk…Don’t, please-
Donghae, you had no idea how much I wanted to help you. Like right now. But how could I be of help? How could I ease the pain that stabbed your heart? Your mind? Your soul?
How could I give you happier memories than the ones that made you remember your late father?
As you cried harder and turned even smaller, I did what I knew that I could only do for you.
I pried your hands away from your face and I captured your quivering mouth in a tender soft kiss just to make you stop crying. The shaking quieted down. Even the sobbing. To my sheer surprise, you really did stop crying.
It was just a simple pressed lip on lip but it did the job. Like, whoa.
I pulled away briefly then my hands found your face and lovingly cupped your cheeks, quietly noting that red nose, runny eyes and scrunched brows you had on. You were blushing madly as well, with parted lips and hitched breathing. You look so beautiful, crying or not.
Slowly and carefully, I placed my forehead against yours. Our faces just few millimeters distance in between. We were so close that our breaths were ghostly passing on each others' skin. I was already shivering at our closeness, didn’t you notice?
“The next time you want to cry like this, tell me. If you want to scream, just say so. And if you just want go crazy, I’d be happy to watch over you.”
I’d be guessing that you were completely stunned that you didn’t have any strength to reply. So I took this opportunity to finally tell you that:
“Donghae, please let me love you like this. Let me take half the pain and sorrows away from you. Please be happier.”
“Are you…playing with me…?” You asked as your voice cracked either because of happiness or something else. “Because if you are, I’m going to kick you so hard, you won’t be able to dance anymore.”
“Do I look like I’m playing around?” I asked, slightly offended but dropped it immediately. Then I began shortening the distance between our mouths. “If I were playing around, I wouldn’t kiss you like this.”
When our lips met the second time, it felt so right - like puzzle pieces found its destined pair. You accepted my feelings by allowing my mouth to explore yours openly in a hungry lip-lock while I expressed my deepest emotions for you by kissing your harder, deeper like it was the last thing we’d ever do.
My hands found yours and we laced fingers together as we delved in each others' mouths and tongues.
For a moment, you forgot that you were sad.
For a moment, I forgot that I was worrying like hell.
And like this, I planned to continue making you forget that pain that once tormented you and replaced it with blissful happiness.
“Donghae-ah… I’m sorry…and I love you.” I breathed between our heated kiss and finally pushed you down on the couch.
A/N: I do hope you didn’t find this all too cheesy and lame. I kinda find it rather sweet and sexy. LOL. This is hot as it gets. I still can’t write steamy scenarios! Don’t worry, I’m working on it.
Cookie-reviews are much appreciated! O RLY!