Rest In Pieces
I always feel this way after I watch a movie. I feel like i'm never going to find someone special, even if it's for a few months or something. I've never had a "special someone". I'm 17, i've had one boyfriend, and I can't really say i've been in love. Once I was, I still sorta am, but absolutely nothing will come out of it. He's at a different school and although we talk online a lot we don't see each other, and probably never will for awhile. That's what love is to me, and that's why I have a hard time being in love. I'm afraid of it, I can't find myself to give my heart to somebody and ask for it in return. I don't want to get hurt again, even though this boy never intentionally hurt me, the pain of waiting for him to say something, the pain of knowing nothing is going to happen is more than enough for me to hold on to my heart. I don't know when it will be or how i will do it, but hopefully someday, somebody will help me break free of this phobia and show me there is nothing to be afraid of. Until then i guess i'm going to be alone for a very, very long time.