(Untitled)
I couldn't decide between a relationship or essay meme, so I'm just going to do a question meme! For those who don't remember how this works, you ask me a question about anything. It can be in character, out of character, relationship, what they think of this situation, why they do that voodoo that they do, who I want to top you into apping, which
( Read more... )
...That being said, she honestly feels it's better for him if she avoids him. He doesn't remember being in camp before, which means he doesn't remember finding out why she broke up with him in the first place--and she thinks it would hurt him more if he did know. Specifically, there's the Akito factor--she knows that Haru would stand by her and love her and support her, but Akito made it Perfectly Clear that he Does Not Approve. Rin isn't sure that Akito wouldn't lash out at Haru to get revenge against her if she dared to say anything. Rin would never forgive herself if she were responsible for hurting Haru.
Other than Akito, she still feels like she made the right choice in the first place, but... her resolve isn't as strong as it used to be. She's more aware now than she used to be that Haru doesn't mind being by her side regardless of the dangers, and that he really, truly does care about her for some unfathomable reason. She's very resistant to the notion of telling him the truth about the "accident" back home with Akito, but she thinks what she's doing might be unfair to him, and that she should at least give him a choice to do what he wants... It's more than missing the person she loves, she misses the closest and only friend she had for years. But at the same time, it loops back to being with her could be dangerous to his health.
...Really, it's not even just that she thinks Akito might hurt him, though. On a basic level, Rin thinks there's something fundamentally wrong with herself, that makes people like Akito and her parents hate her, and that whatever that thing about her is could end up hurting him, regardless of outside interference. That something she might say or do might one day make Haru hate her, and that would hurt worse than anything else. This belief isn't as strong as it used to be, with people in camp (like Hughes, Tomo, Axel, Akiha) willing to listen to her and talk to her and not hating her, but at its core, it's still there, and it's a hard feeling to shake.
Overall, Rin is very uncertain about what to do with Haru, and is clinging to not saying anything to him about it by default, but her resolve is weak about it.
...I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANY OF THAT MADE ANY SENSE AT ALL.
But anyhow! STATE OF THE UNION: AKITO AND SHIGURE. 8D
Reply
Uh, headspace drabble! Okay, that answers nothing, but that's sort of related to Shigure. Just squint, alright. That said, Shigure was in her good graces, but she sort of knew that it was tenuous. . . That he was staying close just because of Dietrich and he wouldn't let her be alone. Still, she was really happy with him. She got him to basically agree to do what Kureno did for her, and she didn't trust him as inherently as she does Kureno. . . There was a damn good chance, okay. :( And Akito needs Kureno. She is having a bit of trouble without him, and there's no one else around, so she's getting a bit sicker and a bit more alone without him. She honestly was trying to groom Shigure or Hatori to be that, but she wanted Shigure more. Ffffff, she really was happy, damn it. But when it finally came to a challenge-When he had to realize he was still very much Jyuunishi and she was God-Shigure failed. He refused it. To Akito, Shigure can't be in her good graces and disobey her in the same breath. It doesn't work that way. It would send the wrong message to absolutely everyone. (Which by the way, I love that she won't be openly affectionate with any of the Jyuunishi other than Haru. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND, SHH, DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE.) Then, he came around and he was the same jerk that he'd always been. He was just. . . He was being downright cruel. Akito wouldn't have been alright with him, and she would still have had to rake him over the coals a bit for appearance's sake. . . But his being that way was even more hurtful. So, she's absolutely sick and done with him. She hates that she was stupid enough to let him in enough to make a fool of her like this-To hurt her that much. Akito just doesn't want to see him or anyone right now. Everyone sucks. The end.
. . . Oh, Akito.
UMMM. Rin on the other Jyunishi in camp? Is she expecting the rest? Anyone in particular she could possibly want to see?
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment