(no subject)

Jan 07, 2011 15:06

LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Okay, the update with Akito . . . The bonds broke awhile ago! At first, Akito put an honest effort into figuring out everything that was going on. She had a lot of questions about how she was going to be as this new, free person. To a degree, Akito understands that she is a nutcase. She doesn't respond like a normal person, and she can tell since she knows enough of other people to, at least, read and manipulate them. However, sitting down and acting like a nice person isn't satisfying for Akito. She's a little off balance and temperamental, even when worrying that being this way may cost her Shigure, Akito still can't and won't deny that she will end up acting like that. She is what she is, but Akito was open to adapting herself to others to an extent. If Shigure, who isn't all that great in her mind, can make friends and the like, then Akito can too!

. . . Well, that's what she thought. Akito doesn't want to be open and honest to people, though. She speaks down and belittles people to keep a distance from others, and she has no interest in showing weakness, humanity, to make people empathize with her. If someone can't deal with that, then Akito has no interest in them. The incident that comes most strongly to mind is when Akito decided to try to play nice with Rabi . . . It ended with both of them mad at each other. So, she decide to give it up. It's pointless to even try! But even when Akito did her best to keep that distance, it wouldn't work. Akito was comfortable with George, and he said he liked her which upset her to no end. She won't forgive him for it, because they were just horrible people that hung out every now and then. She didn't do anything to get him to like her; it makes no sense.

But, before that, what really put a stop to her trying was George saying, to some degree, that they are what they are, and there's no point trying to change it. While Akito wouldn't openly say that George was an acceptable person, she did accept him and he validated that she had no reason to change! It was everyone else's problem if Akito was mean and horrible, because that's just how she is. Even in being a woman, Akito couldn't understand the point of trying to change. For a split second, she tried with Shigure, before rejecting all of it as a bad idea. Not to mention that when it came to home, Akito didn't want to face it at all. She didn't want to spare a second to thinking what would happen when she returned, so Akito is content to remain in camp for that reason alone. The choice and desire not to change, along with that validation, put a stop to any efforts Akito had made.

Now, Akito had managed to resolve the issues she had with her father and so on, so she was making progress on her own at a slower rate. But when Momiji said he was going to update . . . Well, it seemed like a good nudge to get Akito moving again. Camp had given Akito the time and freedom to put away all these thoughts that she didn't like, but canon did not. In canon, everything went south very quickly, like locking Rin up, stabbing Kureno, losing Haru, and so on, that Akito had no choice but to reject it all. Despite who or whatever caused all those incidents to occur, Akito views no one but herself as responsible. The behavior that she had before didn't just cause everyone around her pain but Akito herself too, so she isn't given the luxury of not changing if she wants to spare herself that sort of misery again.

While the means will likely once again escape Akito, she will have the desire to change if nothing else. On the bright side, she will also have Momiji who is infinitely more adapt at managing Akito than most other people, so she's got an ace up her sleeve in that sense.
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